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Lump in neck--heading towards major spiral!


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I have a lump in my neck.  I have to go to our local surgery group on Wednesday.  I know that I should be able to stop this movement into pure terror because I have Bipolar I, Mixed States, Rapid Cycling.  I really don't want this anxiety to lead me into this state because both are like crawling out of a black hole that I just don't know if I can emerge from one more time.

 

On a logical level, I know that it is either something benign or not and that it has already been there and just now getting big enough for my regular check up for my family doctor to see it.  There is no changing that.

 

On a dealing with anxiety level, I know that meditation/prayer, walking dogs, hot baths (must take showers for another reason--it's lovely to be screwed up, as many of you know!), etc... is something that a person should do when dealing with panic.

 

However, I don't seem to be able to put them into practice when I get this bad.  I have a phobia about cancer and have had 3 friends get it in one year, one dying from it.  I have known three people with lymphoma (1 remission; 2 died), and several aunts and uncles.  The phobia, however, seemed to develop from when I was really young.

 

Anyhow, sorry I am rambling; I just wonder if any of you have any techniques that I might use?  Support is very appreciated.  Thank you!

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I see that you're on klonopin and xanax, according to your sig- do they help when the anxiety starts to reach critical level? Maybe you could call your psych doc and explain the situation and see if they would recommend taking a little bit more of the prn than usual during this extra stressful period? 

 

Otherwise, I don't have any techniques, really, I'm sorry. My usual way of dealing with anxiety is to not deal with, just run and hide, which doesn't work. I wish I had more advice to offer- I hope more people come along with suggestions. And I'm really sorry you're going through this- I'm thinking lots of positive thoughts for you, and feel free to keep us updated on the situation and to vent or anything you need to do. 

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