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Asexuality Should be Acknowledged


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So, I saw the LGBT section of the forum and I didn't see asexuals being mentioned. I think it is very important. I am asexual and I oftentimes see boards that include gays, transgenders, lesbians, and bisexual people, but not asexual people. It is oftentimes left out because it is often unheard of.

 

Asexuality is not a choice. It is not due to medication. I was born this way. I wonder if there is a way for asexuality to maybe be recognized here? :) Maybe there are some other asexuals here that would like to have a space here for them?

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Hey Starship_subaru. ^^

 

I am glad to meet another fellow asexual. :) 

 

I have always been too. Even before my mental illness, I never felt physical attraction for anyone. We are very lucky in the sense that we don't have to suffer from sexual side effects of medicine. :D

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There are other asexual members, there are threads here and there where someone will mention it.

 

I don't know why you wouldn't be willing to start a thread in the LGBT section if that is what you wanted to do, though. I think the point is that they are "atypical" orientations, not that only LGBT members are allowed to use it.

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Well, it's complicated, but I don't really want to get into it. Basically, I've never liked sex, always found it uncomfortable, and found that the most I would ever truly feel comfortable with is cuddling and maybe kissing. Maybe. Mostly I just like closeness. I have no desire to do anything sexual. Sometimes I think I do but that's just me thinking that I need to express my feelings like a normal (so-called) person would. I haven't had a sexual relationship in nearly 9yrs, and I honestly don't see that changing.

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crtclms, I think that if they put LGBT/Asexual, then that would be a good idea, and then maybe a sticky with some information about asexuality. 

 

exl2398, What you say makes perfect sense to me. It is understandable.

 

Fugazi, asexual is not a choice. Celibacy is a choice. The two things are different. Asexuals do not choose to be asexual, we are born this way. When you say you are asexual, do you mean that you are not physically attracted to anyone? But, when you are sexual, then do you experience physical attraction to others?  I hope my questions do not bother you. I don't want to offend you or anyone else. LOL about the animals. :P

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I don't mind answering your questions. I'm pretty much asocial and that isn't a choice but something I have to struggle with. I often feel indifferent to people generally, sexually or otherwise, but I think of this as a loss. People need other people and I do too but I'm incapable of forming any meaningful relationship with other people. Sometimes I wish I could and sex wouldn't be particulary important. But my estrangement from other people isn't a happy thing. My lack of interest in people bothers me, doesn't your lack of interest in sex bother you in the same way? Sex isn't the only way to feel close to another person but it can be important. If you're happy with it then fine, I'm not trying to judge you but just trying to understand.

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My lack of interest in sex doesn't bother me at all. I've never been interested in it, so it's just a blank spot in my head. I can't even imagine how it would feel to be interested.

 

But I do want to have a romantic relationship, and the only part that bothers me is how sex always seems to be considered a part of the package. So I'm afraid I will be alone forever. Which doesn't really bother me a lot, the way it does for some people...but I still think I'd rather have someone(s) to share my life with someday.

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I don't mind answering your questions. I'm pretty much asocial and that isn't a choice but something I have to struggle with. I often feel indifferent to people generally, sexually or otherwise, but I think of this as a loss. People need other people and I do too but I'm incapable of forming any meaningful relationship with other people. Sometimes I wish I could and sex wouldn't be particulary important. But my estrangement from other people isn't a happy thing. My lack of interest in people bothers me, doesn't your lack of interest in sex bother you in the same way? Sex isn't the only way to feel close to another person but it can be important. If you're happy with it then fine, I'm not trying to judge you but just trying to understand.

 

My aseuxality and aromanticism does not bother me at all. I am a loner and I like it that way. I don't have any close relationships besides my mother and father and that is quite fine by me. 

 

I m sorry to hear that it bothers you though. I hope that there is a way that you can find some kind of happiness. It sounds like it bothers you a lot. Do you have a therapist that can try to help you out?

My lack of interest in sex doesn't bother me at all. I've never been interested in it, so it's just a blank spot in my head. I can't even imagine how it would feel to be interested.

 

But I do want to have a romantic relationship, and the only part that bothers me is how sex always seems to be considered a part of the package. So I'm afraid I will be alone forever. Which doesn't really bother me a lot, the way it does for some people...but I still think I'd rather have someone(s) to share my life with someday.

 

Maybe someday you will be able to find another asexual somewhere out there. It is probably rather difficult, but not impossible. 

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I think expanding the acronym to include "A" is a good idea. We all deserve recognition. 

 

I like that idea much better. :) Since lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender are not spelled out, asexual should not be spelled out all the way either. Your idea of expanding the acronym is great. 

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I actually have some plans for the forum that include stickies and perhaps a name change to reflect more diversity.  Not the only one working on it. But it's a big project and my life's been messing with me pretty hardcore since late June, I'm finally back at a state where I feel like I'm capable of working on projects like this.  Rest assured it is something that's been noticed and even a couple/few of the mods are asexual.

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My one issue with continuing to expand the acronym is that there are so many other things to put into the acronym and it could get pretty huge if we kept doing that.  In some parts of the Internet I have see others start using "GSM" to mean "Gender and Sexual Minoritites."  I know asexuals aren't sexual, and I wouldn't presume to speak for asexuals, but I wonder if that would feel inclusive since I definitely include asexuals in "Sexual Minorities" in my mind.  There would definitely be stickies with definitions and links to outside resources within the forum.

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There are many variations on the LGBT theme, from adding an A for asexuality A for allies, I for intersex, Q for queer, Q for Questioning... the list goes on to including Pansexuals, Polys, etc

 

I feel conflicted putting my two cents in here, this being a thread for asexuality; but I wonder if, in the spirit of equality, CB might want to come up with an all-encompassing name for discussions of sexuality in all it's forms.

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I actually have some plans for the forum that include stickies and perhaps a name change to reflect more diversity.  Not the only one working on it. But it's a big project and my life's been messing with me pretty hardcore since late June, I'm finally back at a state where I feel like I'm capable of working on projects like this.  Rest assured it is something that's been noticed and even a couple/few of the mods are asexual.

 

I am sorry to hear about your difficulties. I understand that we all have lives outside of internet. I definitely am not asking for immediate change. I am glad that you are starting to feel a little bit better. 

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My one issue with continuing to expand the acronym is that there are so many other things to put into the acronym and it could get pretty huge if we kept doing that.  In some parts of the Internet I have see others start using "GSM" to mean "Gender and Sexual Minoritites."  I know asexuals aren't sexual, and I wouldn't presume to speak for asexuals, but I wonder if that would feel inclusive since I definitely include asexuals in "Sexual Minorities" in my mind.  There would definitely be stickies with definitions and links to outside resources within the forum.

 

I actually like GSM. That sounds good because then that easily includes everyone, including the the list that M@ri wrote. GSM would include everyone. I believe that asexual is an orientation on the sexual spectrum. A lack of sexuality is itself a type of sexuality just as atheism is still a belief system. To me, the spectrum includes everything from nonsexuality to different types of sexuality. Asexuality is indeed a sexual minority just as gays, lesbians, etc. 

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I've been trying to figure out a way to understand the whole concept of sexuality in a way that encompasses asexuality, and the closest thing I've got right now is a "Cartesian plane" type of thing with the other person's gender/sex on the x axis and your own likelihood of attraction (based on x) on the y axis. Then you'd have 2 functions, f(x) for sexual attraction and g(x) for romantic attraction. So an asexual aromantic like CynicalReality would be pretty near zero for both f(x) and g(x) for the entirety of both functions. I'm near zero for the entirety of f(x) but not g(x).

 

The part I can't figure out is how the ("atractee" 's) gender/sex identities would actually be placed along the x axis, since I'm not really sure gender can be defined quantitatively, plus I don't really understand exactly what it is anyway, not having a strong sense of it myself. (The extent of my own gendered-ness is basically this sort of vague idea of "sisterhood" with other women.)

 

Also, I'm not entirely sure f(x) and g(x) can be taken as independent for most people.

 

Sorry, I know I just went off on a really bizarre tangent, but this has been floating around in my head for awhile now and I'm a bit manic and...yeah. I'll shut up now.

Edited by starship_subaru
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