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Hi and Help!

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Hi All, I've been lurking for awhile. On my iPhone so this won't be too long. I'm mid forties, garden variety bp 2, and an alkie. Since my dx ten years ago my career (and my life) have pretty much gone to shit. On jobs I've been too "up & down", too sensitive, too impulsive with speech, too argumentative, too nervous, etc etc.

I can't seem to handle any kind of stress. I did start 2 new meds a couple wks ago and am hopeful. (What choice do I have lol). But I can't land a low stress job bc of my prior resume, they all act like I'm too overqualified and must be crazy to want that level of job. (Bingo).

After my last job lasted a whole week last month, I've been considering disability. Then today an employer called me for what seems to be a final interview. It's a avg job in terms of stress it sounds like, and the duties should be in my capabilities. I'm shocked they called again, bc I got very nervous in last interview and rambled on too much. I used to ace every interview before this BP shit.

So I must go in tmrw am. I'm terrified. How do any of you deal w BP & work????

Oh and this is an employer with less than 50 employees in US. No protection that I know of for firing me for BP so I did not plan to tell them.

Thx thx

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Thanks! Well I got through the interview, did very well actually. I was calm, and thank goodness hand tremors were at a minimum. And they offered me the job. It's a nice little business, been around for over 50 years in my town, they sell residential lighting. I think in this case, as usual, my own worst enemy is going to be me. 

I just can't let my anxiety get the best of me, or depression. I've still been drinking and I know if I really want these meds to work I must cut that out. I think if I can handle it, working will be good for me. I haven't worked steadily in a couple of years. And since I have no children at home, live in the country, and husband works long hours, I'm so isolated. That depresses me, not having a purpose or structure. There's only so much fulfillment anyone can get out of housecleaning. 


But I'm still interested in how anyone else copes with the stress of working. Last time I tried to work, a few weeks ago, the boss seemed to be irritated that I WASN"T getting all stressed and anxious. One of my new bosses is apparently very disorganized, demanding, and ADD. How do I stay calm without seeming like I don't care?

What do I do if I feel triggered and want to tell someone off or cry? 


I'm 45. None of this was ever an issue before BP, because I could control myself. Seems like these meds are helping though. 

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How long have you been on the meds?

Congrats on the interview, big step. Interviews are hell for me. Is the job part time or full time? Going part time for a bit could be very helpful, to ease back in. It's not easy, I jumped full time into a long hours job and that was bad...


Are you able to see a therapist or worker of any kind to work on issues with yourself? It seems like you're anxious.. and it's getting to you.

You have to be able to stand up for yourself when needed. And ignore it when you can. Bosses can be idiots. If it gets to be too much, you should be able to leave on personal time once in a while. Take a few minute break. If you smoke cigarettes, that a good excuse. If you don't, just go to the washroom, calm down. I'm not one to talk about stress... I suck with it..


Take it slow.


I do water down my resume, too. I have a degree that underqualifies me, or overqualifies me. It's frustrating.

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Hi, I've been on the ones I'm weaning off, Seroquel and Effexor, for several years. I've been on Lithium for about 3 weeks and Latuda for 2 weeks.


And as I mentioned I struggle with drinking. Having 24 hours free a day isn't great for that for me. More disturbingly, I seem to have short term memory loss after only 2 drinks now...I had exactly 2 glasses of wine a week ago and had not the slightest idea where I'd parked my car. I could get away with drinking in the past but apparently they really mean it with these two drugs, at least thats the case for me. I have no doubt I will be able to really cut down on the drinking now. I have to be at this job pretty early, and I'm still having to take a small amount of Seroquel to sleep, so I have lots more motivation to not drink. And honestly a little more hope now. 

I've been to AA a fair amount, but I'm in the bible belt and the meetings are very churchy and preachy. All of them. I'm kind of an agnostic and I really don't get motivated by simply being told to pray. Maybe I'll go back. It was a good group of people but that stuff got to me. Don't think there was a good understanding of bp with anyone there either. 


I really want to lick that problem though because I can't imagine what I would try after these meds. I've been on so many over the last decade. I want to give this a chance. 


But yes I'm just worried about being triggered. I tried twice to work in the last 6 months and when I was given the smallest reprimand I would get all upset and confrontational. Instead of just saying, "OK, I understand.", and letting it go. When I'm triggered I tend to blow things up, I over analyze everything....and either get pissed off or cry. I'm a mature woman and this is NOT the way I used to be. 


But, if anything was going to trigger me it was sitting in a room with three owners all interviewing me at once, like this morning. I was amazed. I stayed calm, I listened, I focused. And of course I did not get drunk last night. And yes, part time would be nice, but not an option. 


I'm not currently in therapy but want to start again. Trying to find one or two support groups too, something for BP or dual diagnosis since the AA didn't feel like a good fit. Nobody understands our troubles except for us! My husband said recently he was "sick" of my episodes. I said I was too! It's so unfair, because what if I had epilepsy instead? Would he say he's "sick of my seizures", and tell me to stop having them? Of course not. Sigh but people have their limits I guess. 

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I've had to deal with being "overqualified" and a mismatch while interviewing for jobs.  Technically it's illegal to discriminate against someone based on their mental health unless it directly interferes with their occupational functioning.  Usually an employer will cite other reasons if pressed to discuss their reasons for hiring - other more suitable candidates, etc.  It's a seller's market right now when it comes to finding work.  I'm looking into developing new skills that are more relevant to the present marketplace since all industries are in a transitional stage as well.  Might as well go with the flow.


Dealing with triggers is tough for me also.  I get derailed over personal misunderstandings and when I feel I've been mistreated.  I've found being objective and decisive is the best way of coping with these situations.  Of course the meds help me keep my reactions to such events with in a limited range.  I don't get too down in other words and find ways to cope.  


hth * hope that helps!

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Well I have no plans on disclosing my illness at this time to new job. Small biz, owner in his late 60s and very old fashioned. If it becomes necessary I will. But I'd rather have a chance for them to get to know me without prejudice and all the stigma.

I definitely struggle with having a filter since bp. I can really shoot off my mouth. But I think I will also have more control as these meds take effect, and most importantly don't drink. I made it through today without a drink, first day in weeks.

See my pdoc tmrw, plan to ask for klonopin in case I get triggered at the job. Doubt he will give it to bc of the alcoholism though.

Otherwise I need to remember as I start work to: not gossip, stir up drama, make sarcastic remarks, or share too much personal info. Or take criticism personally.

It will be good to finally get a paycheck again, hope I get more than one!

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Congratulations on the new job. :)   In my experience, disclosing information about mental health in the workplace can be counterproductive; this includes the management.  It's important to know what is okay to open up about at work and to whom.  Not all jobs are the same and some professions and companies have a culture that cultivates a positive emotional work environment, but not all by any stretch.  


Professionalism most certainly goes along way when dealing with stressful situations at a job, IMO.  It helps defuse any volatile instances and helps in finding practical solutions to any work related issues.  Best of luck to you in your new job.  Steady paychecks sound good right about now.

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