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Weird impulses


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I currently have weird impulses which, I think, may be new "forms" of SI urges: jumping from a 1st floor window, from a bridge.... none of this would kill me, I would just escape from the feelings a bit longer than with cuts. I am guessing that this is not a good idea, even if I can't find actual reasons not to do it, since it would not be dangerous.

Does any of you have experienced anything like this? How have you dealt with it?

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It is dangerous, you could land wrong and break something and end up in the emergency room needing surgery.

 

 

It sounds like you like adrenaline.

I'm like that. I'll get on any rollercoaster in the world, literally. I love the rush. I love amusement parks, rides..

 

There are sports you can do, like karate or jujitsu, which shows you how to fall, how to roll and jump and throw people (if you're small, you get thrown around a lot too) and there are a lot of experienced members, so you don't get hurt. You'll be achy, but it's fun and safe. And good exercise and discipline. I LOVED martial arts. If this is a silly suggestion, let me know. To me, it kinda sounds like you're looking for that sort of adrenaline rush.

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I agree with sys.  I actually bought a pair of rollerblades to fulfill my desire to do something reckless.  When I feel the urge to do something dangerous, I can go blading, which always turns out to be a rush. 

 

It is important to find an outlet and to deal with these urges.  We often miscalculate the potential risk involved in a situation, and acting impulsively could leave you with a serious injury.

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You may be right. I don't actually like rollercoasters or risk sports... I just feel that when i am "hurting/potentially hurt", then i have to save myself and i don't have to deal with the other feelings, it's resting?

Thanks, i'll try to look into alternative outlets

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Maybe if it isn't the adrenaline rush that you're looking for, then it might be a desire to care for yourself after being injured that's prompting the impulses? Maybe some other self care activity like a bubble bath or painting  your nails or having a really tasty, healthy meal might work then?

 

I might be totally wrong, it's just a thought.

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I think you may have a point Squish, because... I am not 'allowed' (by my nice cute brain) to take care/stop hurting myself if I don't really need it, because "that's what I deserve", so it might be a way to get myself to be allowed to get something good, some self-care (if I spend time in the shower, I will have to be guilty and punished for not studying/wasting water/taking the bathroom too long, if I have a meal, I will have to feel guilty/be punished for eating something wrong/wasting money/not eating at the right time) and it is so ... exhausting. Being hurt means I can say to myself that caring/being okay is the priority. I am not sure it makes sense.

Thank you for your input.

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It sounds to me, maybe I'm wrong, like self injury isn't working for you like it used to so you are looking for more things that can alleviate your pain. Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist you can see or do see? Sometimes we go too far and they may be able to help you identify the need to take an additional step with your SI and possibly help with some healthier coping skills. Rather than focusing on injury to help you, maybe you could focus on yourself and being kinder to yourself. You do deserve that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I get similiar to these, the urge to step out in front of a car, urge to OD (not enough to kill me, but everything that isn't "enough" has almost killed me twice), jump off roofs, set myself on fire....

 

I definately recommend the (healthy) adrenaline rush just don't start fights like me :S .... I hope you can allow yourself some self care. Hot baths with essential oils are awesome 

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