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mania for loners/introverts


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A question for bipolar loners and introverts out there:

 

What is mania or hypomania like for you?

 

I actually tend to retreat even further into myself than I do during depression. I find that mania makes me very paranoid much of the time and I feel as if people hate me or wish me harm. Also, when I'm feeling euphoric instead of paranoid, I want to be all alone with my beautiful shiny thoughts.

 

For some reason I've always felt a little rebellious against my BP diagnosis. It just doesn't quite seem to fit. This is one reason. If anyone has similar experiences, it might help ease my mind a little bit.

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Many geniuses did masterpieces when they were manic and lonely...I'm talking about great works of arts, literature, or music.

 

Everyone does differences with the high they get....

 

 

Compare it to a figurative drug high such as cocaine...in which mania is sort of relevant too...some people get high and go off and dance and some stay in a room and surf the internet all night...

Edited by Forbidden91
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When I'm manic, my crippling social phobia is gone, and while I'm isolated in the fact that everyone else irritates the hell out of me, I also long for social interaction and seek it out, which I rarely if ever do otherwise.

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Ditto. Crippling social phobia, but when I'm up I'm highly social. I seek out crowds. I'll stand on street corners and talk to strangers. I'll accidentally corner somebody for two hours to talk about cats. I become overly descriptive, divulging waaay more information than anyone ever wants to know. In the words of those strangers, "you're so bubbly!" When I'm irritable however, obviously I don't want to be around anyone because they make sounds that make me want to harm them. Euphoric though? Totally a chatterbox.

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I'm like you, I'm normally introverted anyway, and my worst manic episode made me very, very paranoid. I was 16, so I still had friends because high school made that simpler, but I was so paranoid with them. During another manic episode, I didn't get more social, I decided to buy a domain name to start a website. Making websites (which I cannot actually do, hence it was manic & impulsive) typically doesn't seem like a very social thing to do.

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Hmm interesting.

 

I wouldn't say I'm lonely; that word means very little to me since I like to spend about 90% of my time alone...maybe more like 95 or even 100% when manic. I feel much more connected the world when there are no other people around. Bingo, that's what it is! I like to be alone because other people disrupt my connection to the world. That seems a little paradoxical, doesn't it? Most people seek out company for the sake of connection.

 

I also don't have social phobia, although I do have a fear of actually doing anything in front of people because I believe they think themselves to be better than me at whatever it is I'm doing. Mostly only applies to things I care about. (e.g. I don't mind making an a$$ out of myself singing karaoke every once in a while because I know I am a bad singer and don't give a sh*t.)

 

I just like to be alone with my thoughts, even more than usual when manic. I do have a strong desire to communicate in some indirect way, though, such as by writing poetry.

 

Guess I'm still kinda the odd one out. I think I'll bring this question up with pdoc.

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I'm like you, I'm normally introverted anyway, and my worst manic episode made me very, very paranoid. I was 16, so I still had friends because high school made that simpler, but I was so paranoid with them. During another manic episode, I didn't get more social, I decided to buy a domain name to start a website. Making websites (which I cannot actually do, hence it was manic & impulsive) typically doesn't seem like a very social thing to do.

 

ohai vacillate! thanks for response, I didn't get to read your post before posting. perhaps i'm not the only one after all.

 

still thinking I should talk to pdoc about it though. one of these things is not like the others, and all that.

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I get totally and completely social when manic. I am a social butterfly! The life of the party! And all that jazz. I make all these commitments with people and then fall into a depression and can't keep those commitments. I isolate and stay in bed all day when depressed. No fun. So I am really fucked either way. I make an ass of myself when manic and then an ass of myself when depressed and don't return calls or anything. I can't win!

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I'm very very much like you. I get extremely paranoid when manic. Generally I think everyone wants to kill me so I want to kill them first... :|

And when I'm depressed I don't want to be around ANYONE. I've locked myself in my room for days before. I'm not a loner though. I just like to be around a few friends at a time and I hate being around people I don't know. Definitely introverted. :)

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I just feel like I can do anything, and everything, and that I should actually do it all.  No problem!  I once asked for a promotion while very manic....and actually got it.  Then, after the crash had the crap scared out of me and was just suddenly very, very cold as the realization set in.  what did I do to myself? 

 

Sigh.

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I just feel like I can do anything, and everything, and that I should actually do it all.  No problem!  I once asked for a promotion while very manic....and actually got it.  Then, after the crash had the crap scared out of me and was just suddenly very, very cold as the realization set in.  what did I do to myself? 

 

Sigh.

Canuck, I hate that feeling and know it well. 

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My husband and I are hermits. We*never* go out, and we like it that way. It aggravates my best friend, who is a social butterfly.

 

I like thrifting. Just enough people there to chat with if I feel like it, but I don't have to interact. I like reusing and recycling, most of my clothes are "new to me." So I get to spend money, but the most I have ever paid at a thrift shop is $35. And every once and again, you find a JACKPOT! $175 boots, brand new for $15. a $275 purse, tag attached for $7.

 

Then if they aren't a mess, I re-contribute them. I am sending back the purse, I used it for a season.

 

But look those clothes over carefully (necklines, cuffs, "bust areas).

 

I knew where all the thrift stores were in San Jose, MV, and Menlo park, and hit 3 a day when I was up to it.

 

Fun. But the recession has definitely kicked up the price point.

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I just got over a manic episode.  I am socially very quiet, all the time, but when I am manic I come out of my "shell" a little more.  I don't worry what others think of me as much (criticizing me for anything) ... actually I usually don't give a crap what people think about me on a "normal" day, but even so I still might have reservations about things.  But I am more confident when manic.

 

I walk so fast (I walk a lot) that I can hardly keep up with myself (and I can't run because of my hip).  I find myself on-line shopping A LOT.  I'll do things on a whim, not thinking too much before doing them.

 

But it is just too much energy.  When I crash it is hell though.

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I don't like to really leave the house and I still DON'T when hypo, but I'll call people and chat or chat with people online or CONSTANTLY run my mouth to my boyfriend, laugh a lot at my own jokes (cause I'm GREAT, RIGHT?) and I find that I don't OFTEN do too much shit I wouldn't usually do and nothing really crazy, but whatever I do, it's generally here in the house. Mostly lots of babbling. LOTS OF THAT. I do that to my dad, my sister, my best friend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend's parents. . .EVERYONE. And posts and the internet get more ridiculous all the time.

 

Generally it's like that. I also drink like a fish to calm the fuck down and sleep. That generally does NOT work. Would not recommend. I just really dislike the antsy feeling I get.

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I'm usually pretty introverted but when manic I like everyone and am talkative. I ramble on and on, crack jokes, sometimes inappropriate ones. I also sing, because I'm sooo good at it. ;) The things that go through my head on a normal day aren't always good, so while manic it all comes out and I embarrass myself.

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I'm not introverted but I'm not normally (whatever that means) a talker.  Instead i prefer to get other people talking about themselves.  When hypomanic, I pretty much talk without taking a breath about anything and everything moving from the original subject to obscurity to anything else.  I will go and seek someone to talk to, anywhere.  That's not something I do otherwise. Not that I've had a lot of "normal" in the last 20 yrs.

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