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Paranoia and it's effect on perception.

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Firstly, I am very paranoid and delusional. I have spent years with a negative frame of mind, and low self esteem.

 

I keep hearing neighbours discussing things about me, criticising me to each other, they seem to want me gone asap - an it's on a regular basis and can go on for an hour or two.

 

I don't know if that's what a "running commentary" is, or whether it's this negative frame of mind that has me so caught up on my faults and delusions that when the neighbours, and other people converse to each other - is my mind just restructuring what they're saying to keep my delusions and self blame going.

 

I remember once when my Dad and his friend were doing some work, they were talking and I was registering it towards me, it sounded so clear that they were running me down when I was upstairs. When I later confronted my Dad about it, he denied it - either he's twofaced or my mind on overload had been tricking me...

 

I often peek out my window and see that I'm being watched by people in their car. I also really sense the stigma, that other neighbours and people just don't understand - ie, my blinds are constantly shut, that would come across weird that I'm always peeking out onto the street.

 

I'm also obsessive, grandiose and ruminate a lot.

 

My sleep pattern isn't always great, due to thinking far too hard and worrying about the slightest sound outside.

 

Anyone with similar situations who can offer opinions??

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I go through the same things. I think all the time and it makes me think things are about me when they're not. I use to think people were talking about me and thinking about me all the time but truth be told no one thinks about you as much as you think they are.

I'm also positive your father and his friend weren't talking about you. The mind is powerful and can make you believe things are true when they're really not. Its happened to me so I know. I would never think it was possible if I didn't go through it myself. I would hear people talking about me as clear as day. But they wouldn't be.

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Same with me.  It really helped when I went on medication.  The paranoia about people talking about me really lessened.  Also over time I came to not give a crap what other people thought of me, so if I thought they were talking about me, I would just go on with life.

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Before I was on Seroquel I had paranoia and I would think everything related to me. Like there is a shadow in the car and I think there might be someone in there watching me, or a car drives by and I think they are monitoring my house, or following me in my own car. Every now and then I will see something shining through the slats in my husband's closet and I think that maybe it's a camera.

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BronxJazzy - I understand :) I'm constantly trying to think logically about it, which helps to an extent, so I'm glad you're able to do the same.

 

Melissaw - nice to hear from you again, I'm glad you're able to manage it the way you do, by not giving it too much thought.

 

Wj74 - I know exactly what you mean, I'm the same with cars outside, and if they blare their horn I just seem to assume they're doing it to purposely annoy me and get my attention... I think I'm starting to annoy the neighbourhood when I keep checking out the window.

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