Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Panic, constant panic.


Recommended Posts

I don't even know where to start. I need to go back to the docs but I'm terrified of the disappointment if they are dismissive, and the docs make me anxious anyway. Too many people, they're all sick. I don't want to get sick, like germy sick. I had to go in to collect a prescription the other day and the woman made me wait and I touched the front desk and I could almost feel them crawling on my skin. 

 

 

The fact that both route lead to panic is making me panic.

 

I can't take this any more. I'm terrified of not being able to breath any more. I'm terrified that the docs wont understand how bad this is getting.

Edited by Paperskyscraper
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think your doctors will understand how bad it is getting.  Would you be willing to take this post into them?  They DO understand how bad it can get.

 

It sounds like you need a prn med to take when you have panic attacks.  I know its very difficult, but if you can manage to take deep breaths it will help.  Is there a place you feel safe?  Can you go there when you have a panic attack?  Try making yourself a self-soothing kit with things like a warm, fuzzy blanket.  Some worry beads that you can rub (or rocks).  Music that is calming.  I know these things are small, but if you can lower the panic by even a notch, you'll be making progress.

 

Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with Phoenix about showing this post to your DR.

 

I am proud of you for standing up for yourself!  I have a hard time with that too, mainly because I never have the words to say at that moment.  I'll walk away from the situation and think, "I should have said (this or that) ... "

 

Your job sounds very stressful and like you need a break.  Can you take some time off/ask for some time off before going back to work if they decide to let you back?  Personally I wouldn't want to go back, but can totally understand the independence and money worries, so you hope you can go back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Phoenix and Melissaw, I will. I'm bucking up and asking for an appointment tomorrow. I'm so nervous.

 

At home I just stick my music in and try to think about something else. 

I've had contained panic attacks before, where I've been at parties or with friends/family... even in schools but never in such an open public place. Usually I manage to get somewhere because I can feel them coming on. This was instant, like something just snapped, I had no control over anything my body was doing, movement or vocally apparently. I don't even remember my mum getting to me or taking me behind the ticket machines. Possibly the worst attack I've had in years, and even then I don't remember not actually being inconrol of myself? I've been able to move and talk. Breathing is an issue, BUT I do know what's going on for the most part, this was just so different.

 

 

Not entirely sure I can stand up for myself again though, dreading this HR phone call tomorrow. I have never reported anyone before. 

 

Thank you for listening, and replying!

Edited by Paperskyscraper
Link to comment
Share on other sites

From a purely non-medical and wholly personal POV, what you describe sounds like general anxiety disorder rather than a panic attach. It may just be semantics, but often those semantics are the difference between your audience understanding or not.

 

While medication can provide the basis of control, it is therapy that allows us to gain command over anxiety and begin to curb our response to situations that give rise to panic/anxiety attacks. Each of us can, with adequate care, learn to govern panic/anxiety.

 

I hope you are in therapy and receiving adequate counseling.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^I'm glad you found something Revan, hopefully I will too!

 

**Update**

 

The nurse thinks I'm basically just adjusting to a new period in my life and need to ride it out. Basically she gave me the same bullshit answer I got a few months ago when she used uni and my wedding as the reason I was feeling so bad. Which I can see her point, but when I come back to her months later and I say it's getting worse, to the point where I can't even relax in my own home and its waking me up at night, not to mention the panic attacks. She claims that it's that period after I've had so much going on and I'm in 'shock' and don't know how to relax. She also thinks that it's down to having very little confidence and that I need to go out more and try to get socialising with some people that aren't immediate family or work people. 'Because I should feel relaxed and safe in my own home.' She weighed me and I'd lost some weight so she asked if I was eating okay, so I mentioned the problems I was facing, again she thinks that things just need to settle down. 

 

What's the point. Like seriously... why do I even bother.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She listened the first time I saw her a few months ago, but this time she just wasn't interested. The GP I see is the same, so I went to see her... and tbh I thought she was the better option because she recognised I'd had a problem with anxiety before. We only have one GP and a nurse there because the other GP died and they're waiting to fill him in. Seeing the locum was great until he left, he was really nice :-/

 

The next doctors surgery is about 40mins walk away, I don't know. Maybe I should take my husband next time, let him explain its driving him loopy. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It really sounds like you should consult with a different doc or nurse.   It never a bad idea to get a second opinion and if the first opinion is telling you to do nothing because you need to what?   Toughen up?   If your dealing with MI thats a pretty uninformed thing to say.  

 

I don't know if your already doing this but I've been getting beaten over the head about working out more...   Ahh actually at all...   I think the moving around helps.   I have to agree about the prn Meds.  When you get into a spin its important to have some kind of alternative plan.   Does curling up with your SO help? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will Melissaw! :-)

 

I had a really active job, walking 11 hours a day, 4 days a week. I'm in better shape now that I've ever been and I think it has helped a little, but maybe more on a self confidence level rather than a less panicky me. Still it's a start? I have my music and I usually (sounds weird I know) I make a nest out of cushions on the sofa, stick kids TV on and cradle some form of hot beverage, usually warm ribeena, and it has to be in a certain mug. Its the most soothing thing I can think of.

 

When I panic often I don't want to be around people when I'm trying to calm down? I find they either start fussing over me and I'm like WAH PERSONAL SPACE. I don't mind my SO but I think as a teenager I was so used to being alone and dealing with it, that's how I have to deal with it now? Not that I would turn away someone whilst I was having a panic attack as I do need someone then, but if I'm just having an uber nervous panic filled day then I do like to be alone. 

Edited by Paperskyscraper
Link to comment
Share on other sites

She listened the first time I saw her a few months ago, but this time she just wasn't interested. The GP I see is the same, so I went to see her... and tbh I thought she was the better option because she recognised I'd had a problem with anxiety before. We only have one GP and a nurse there because the other GP died and they're waiting to fill him in. Seeing the locum was great until he left, he was really nice :-/

 

The next doctors surgery is about 40mins walk away, I don't know. Maybe I should take my husband next time, let him explain its driving him loopy. 

I do this. If I feel like the doctor has that eyes glazed over look and are dismissing me because I have "anxiety" I take the husband and he tells them how bad things are for me. Sometimes they listen when there's 2 of you and the "overly anxious person" sitting in front of them isn't the one explaining how bad it is.

Also make sure you push hard for what you want/need. I wanted off of the Remeron but my GP wasn't really listening so I walked in there today and said I hated it, hated how it was making me feel and that I did NOT want to continue taking it (and while I was at it, I said I wanted a referral to a new gastroenterologist). I walked out of there with a script for a new med. and next Friday I get my referral. Be firm with what you need them to do.

Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will Melissaw! :-)

 

I had a really active job, walking 11 hours a day, 4 days a week. I'm in better shape now that I've ever been and I think it has helped a little, but maybe more on a self confidence level rather than a less panicky me. Still it's a start? I have my music and I usually (sounds weird I know) I make a nest out of cushions on the sofa, stick kids TV on and cradle some form of hot beverage, usually warm ribeena, and it has to be in a certain mug. Its the most soothing thing I can think of.

 

When I panic often I don't want to be around people when I'm trying to calm down? I find they either start fussing over me and I'm like WAH PERSONAL SPACE. I don't mind my SO but I think as a teenager I was so used to being alone and dealing with it, that's how I have to deal with it now? Not that I would turn away someone whilst I was having a panic attack as I do need someone then, but if I'm just having an uber nervous panic filled day then I do like to be alone. 

 

I also don't like being around others when I am having a panic attack.  I like being alone too.  Sometimes I have the panic attacks because I am around people in general to begin with.

 

The best thing for me is just being in my home, at my computer, doing email, CB, other sites, etc.  That keeps me calmed down.  As long as I am connected to the computer, have the TV, and some music, and am alone, I usually do pretty well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow Jessamine, that's really amazing, well done! I'm so pleased for you, I definitely need to try that approach. :-)

 

 

I also don't like being around others when I am having a panic attack.  I like being alone too.  Sometimes I have the panic attacks because I am around people in general to begin with.

 

 

I totally get this, dreading xmas because I live really close to the city centre and it will be the Xmas market soon too, and the volume of everyday people is just going to go through the roof. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...