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I can feel the rage...


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I don't know why.. i just had an excellent 2 day fishing trip up north... got to enjoy the spa this morning as well... then did a nice work out at the gym... and now i'm home trying to watch movies and out of nowhere this rage hits me

 

It hit me like a force of hot wind, i just want to smash things, i just want to hurt my fiancee and beat her head in for no reason..

 

I can feel the rage and anger building up inside of me like someone lit a match... I dont know what to do..

 

I'm thinking of just lying down in a room of pillows so i cant do any damage... i don't want to hurt my fiancee but i'm sooo angry!!! and i dont want to smash anything but if i dont let the rage out i'm going to end up hurting myself!

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What causes it i've been happy most of the week!!! pillow isn't good enough i'd love to stab it but it's not mine, i just want to get a lift home. At least in my own house i can smash up as much as i want.

 

i used to own a punching bag but i set it on fire and stabbed it multiple times until my rage had left the body

 

i think i might try and sleep this anger off

Edited by AlienSlayer2013
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I don't know why.. i just had an excellent 2 day fishing trip up north... got to enjoy the spa this morning as well... then did a nice work out at the gym... and now i'm home trying to watch movies and out of nowhere this rage hits me

 

It hit me like a force of hot wind, i just want to smash things, i just want to hurt my fiancee and beat her head in for no reason..

 

I can feel the rage and anger building up inside of me like someone lit a match... I dont know what to do..

 

I'm thinking of just lying down in a room of pillows so i cant do any damage... i don't want to hurt my fiancee but i'm sooo angry!!! and i dont want to smash anything but if i dont let the rage out i'm going to end up hurting myself!

If you are a danger to yourself or others then you need to go to the hospital NOW. It certainly sounds to me like you need to go. Please do. Your fiancee deserves better.

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I don't know why.. i just had an excellent 2 day fishing trip up north... got to enjoy the spa this morning as well... then did a nice work out at the gym... and now i'm home trying to watch movies and out of nowhere this rage hits me

 

It hit me like a force of hot wind, i just want to smash things, i just want to hurt my fiancee and beat her head in for no reason..

 

I can feel the rage and anger building up inside of me like someone lit a match... I dont know what to do..

 

I'm thinking of just lying down in a room of pillows so i cant do any damage... i don't want to hurt my fiancee but i'm sooo angry!!! and i dont want to smash anything but if i dont let the rage out i'm going to end up hurting myself!

If you are a danger to yourself or others then you need to go to the hospital NOW. It certainly sounds to me like you need to go. Please do. Your fiancee deserves better.

 

 

Your right i should leave her... i might think about it overnight

 

i'm not a danger to others just objects in my way and myself, i'm gonna try and sleep it off. peace out all

Edited by AlienSlayer2013
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I"m all for therapeutically throwing the microwave out the window just because if feels good, but when you want to violently hurt women (who are in the same place as you are) for "no reason", you need to leave, as in now.  You also need to tell her that she in danger because of you.  Immediately seek help before you beat/maim/kill someone.

 

 NOW!

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I'm glad you are feeling better now.  Now is a good time to make plans/decisions on what to do about your rage before it builds up again. Your post is alarming that you would be able to hurt your girlfriend, others, property. You don't want to end up doing those things.  I agree with Sylvan that you need to go to the hospital.  Your rage is too unpredictable.

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I woke up after 3 hours sleep, i feel much better, yeh the thoughts are gone just like a hangover all iu had to do was sleep my anger off

You are not on meds and you are not in treatment. From here, it pretty much looks like you aren't doing squat to help yourself. Sleeping for three hours isn't going to fix things. It might help some right now but unless you seek treatment it isn't going to get better. MI doesn't just disappear on its own. It might calm down for a bit but if you have a BP Dx it isn't going to go away permanently. I wish it would but that doesn't happen.

 

The suggestion from confused about making plans now is a very sound one. You need to talk to your fiancee. She needs to know what is going on and what she needs to look for so that she can get the hell out of there if you feel like bashing her face in again. At this point, I'm a heck of a lot more concerned for her than for you. You sound dangerous. You need meds. You need help. Please, get some. 

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I agree with confused's suggestion.  Your fiancee has a right to know that you are a potential danger to her.  And like sylvan said, sleeping for three hours is not a solution.  You need to seek medical attention for your issues.  Today it was rage you felt.  Tomorrow could be psychosis.  You REALLY need to be working with a pdoc and find some meds that work for you.  If for no other reason than to keep your fiancee safe.  

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As long as you have an uncontrolled, unpredictable desire to beat on women, they need to put you on the inside.  When and if you hurt somebody and go before the judge, they'll probably bring up that you decided not to take your meds, and that, along with the trauma you many inflict on others, will follow you for the rest of your life.

 

Do the right thing.

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