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I dont think this is ever going to get better

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My mental health is declining due to insufficient psychiatric, relational, situational, and self care issues. I had to go off my AAP because of severe akathesia...and am not on one and my symptoms are worsening a long with a severe depression.


My current psychiatric symptoms: Severe depression, pessimistic mood, flat mood, voices, paranoia, and agitation.


My relational issues: getting blamed for the behaviors/actions of others, family not understanding, my one friend being unavailable


Situation issues: work is stressful, I have a bad living situation that is not healthy for me


Self care issues: Finding a therapist right now to talk too therefore neglecting my own health, trouble with doing self care tasks


I am feeling as though things are not going well for me. And never will.

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think of it this way - the opposite of what you're saying ("i am always going to be AWESOME! i have so much help i don't know what to do with it all! i'm so blessed! etc etc") would not be on these boards. you're amongst friends here, and i totally get what you're saying because i've been there.


you're dealing with so much right now, and i just want to say that i'm super proud of you for working while you're dealing with all this.

as others have said - it sounds like a med change could be worthwhile.


if you can take some baby steps with self care - like going shopping for fresh fruit and veg, and making a salad and/or smoothie every day, or going for a walk every day - even if it's just to a postbox close by or something - if there is a routine that you can get into - so much the better.

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I've been where you are......fought for 2 years to find the right meds, the right therapist and the right support network to help pull me out of the suicidal depression I was in. The brain is a liar and it will tell you it's hopeless and your worthless, but you know better than that. You are worth it! I got so tired of hearing that. I needed to figure it out for myself. But until I was on the right meds, I couldn't see that for the truth. 


Call your pdoc and talk to them about an alternative. AAP's gave me horrible restless legs and my doc gave me cogentin. Then during my last hospitalization I was put on risperidone and was able to go off the cogentin because it's one of the AAP's that doesn't cause restless leg. Hang on for the ride and keep pushing your doc to help you find the right meds for you. Look at your issues in your life and start small, make small changes, it'll help!! 

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