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Therapist Leaving


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I found out yesterday that my therapist of 4 years will be moving to a new state in a few months. I've got a great rapport with him, (he can make me laugh even in the midst of an awful depression spike) and I have trusted him with more things about myself than anyone else. Trust doesn't come easy to me; it took about two years before I felt I was ready to tell him about a traumatic event that I'd never told anyone before. That was a huge step for me.

 

I know that he is moving to be closer to part of his family, but it feels as if he is abandoning me. I don't want to have to start from scratch with a new therapist. He understands my moods, my losses -- everything that no one else does. He's the only one who will listen to what I have to say and not judge, just understand.

 

Today, I just feel empty... totally apathetic.

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Is it possible to start a new therapist (tdoc) while you are still seeing the current one, so when the current one leaves, you'll feel comfortable with the new one?  I had a friend who did this, so if there was something she didn't like or didn't get along with the new tdoc, she could talk about it and work things out with the current tdoc.  Basically so you have a tdoc when your current one moves so the transition is a little easier.

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I'd second the idea of trying to work out some kind of transition if it's possible; being tossed into the lap of another therapist without any transition time can be pretty rough.  (Granted, my circumstances were a lot different, but the feelings are similar.)  Is it also possible that, since you have such a great rapport with your current therapist, he might be able to make a recommendation on a new therapist who he thinks that you would be able to relate to?   And possibly do the transition thing?

 

Given that you've just found out about this, it's understandable to feel emotionally confused and empty.  Maybe give yourself a chance to come to terms with it and then see if he can help, or if you think it would help, ask him to help you with the transition and accepting it somehow?

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Is it possible to start a new therapist (tdoc) while you are still seeing the current one, so when the current one leaves, you'll feel comfortable with the new one?  I had a friend who did this, so if there was something she didn't like or didn't get along with the new tdoc, she could talk about it and work things out with the current tdoc.  Basically so you have a tdoc when your current one moves so the transition is a little easier.

 

I will ask my tdoc if he can reccomend someone good in the same clinic, so hopefully he can do that, since he knows what I need. I don't know if seeing another tdoc at the same time as my current one is something they'll allow me to do, but it is a good idea. Thanks for that. Right now, it's just something that was sprung on me without warning. He is really all the support I have; my family doesn't get me.

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Is it possible to start a new therapist (tdoc) while you are still seeing the current one, so when the current one leaves, you'll feel comfortable with the new one?  I had a friend who did this, so if there was something she didn't like or didn't get along with the new tdoc, she could talk about it and work things out with the current tdoc.  Basically so you have a tdoc when your current one moves so the transition is a little easier.

 

I will ask my tdoc if he can reccomend someone good in the same clinic, so hopefully he can do that, since he knows what I need. I don't know if seeing another tdoc at the same time as my current one is something they'll allow me to do, but it is a good idea. Thanks for that. Right now, it's just something that was sprung on me without warning. He is really all the support I have; my family doesn't get me.

 

 

You are welcome :)  I understand where you are coming from, in terms of tdoc being the main support you really have; I've been in a similar situation.

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I know that my tdoc is leaving because he and his wife want to be closer to their grandchildren. But it makes me feel abandoned. I realize that's the wrong attitude to have, but it's what I feel. Certainly, I feel a little angry that I put in so much time and told him my darkest secrets and now he'll be leaving when I still need him.

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I think asking your tdoc to help with the transition to someone new is a really excellent idea.  I also think that you need to express your feelings of anger and abandonment to him, so that you can talk them through rather than letting them fester and make you more unhappy.  Saying goodbye to someone with whom you've had a close therapeutic relationship for so long is going to be difficult, there's no doubt about that, but ask him for help now and get the most out of the next few months.

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Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and advice. I really think that's all that can be said on this topic, unless we're just rehashing the same thing. I guess I just needed some others who have gone through the same thing. I still feel empty, but I hope that will change soon. If anyone wants to private message (or whatever is done on this site?) I would appreciate the conversation!

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