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Starting with a new therapist


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I'm starting therapy with a DBT therapist instead of the talk therapist I've seen for over a decade. I just don't think that talk therapy is what I need right now. 

 

Problem is I didn't understand how the therapists worked. I thought I was going to see a guy and that is important to me because of my upbringing I have a difficult time trusting women. Instead of seeing this guy I am going to be seeing a woman. I don't know if I would be able to voice my concern and switch therapists in the practice or not. I don't know if I can force myself to be comfortable with this woman therapist. I don't know, I just don't know. I guess I could give it a session or two. I should just get over it. It is stupid for me not to trust women in general just because of my mother's mistakes. This new therapist hasn't had the opportunity to gain or lose my trust, that isn't fair. 

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Can you ask to be referred to a male therapist?  If that will help you to open up more and trust better, maybe that would be the way to go, or do you not have a choice?

 

IMO it isn't something you can just get over.  And it isn't stupid of you not to trust women.  You have legitimate reasons that should be taken into consideration.  Being with a therapist that you don't trust might not get you anywhere (meaning progressing in therapy).

 

But, like you said, you could give this new one a chance.  You might be surprised.

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I don't know if I have a choice or not. I switched to this office because I thought I would be seeing a male. I am thinking of trying one session with the female therapist and seeing how it works out. If I am uncomfortable I will ask if I can see someone else. I don't know. 

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So I saw the new therapist today. I was totally anxious going in. I didn't talk to her about my anxiety, I acknowledged that I was, but I didn't go into specifics as to why. Part of her explaining how the therapy worked she told me that she was going to be completely transparent with me. That's a good thing, though from what I gathered it is the policy of the clinic so if I were to switch to another therapist I would still get transparency. I think.

 

But the big thing I learned was I could totally fuck with her. I didn't do it on purpose, as we were completing our session she told me "congratulations you have finished your first session of DBT." I responded "Yeah, and we didn't even sacrifice a goat, this is going to be totally different from DBT in California." She looked at me with completely horrified look on her face and asked me with complete sincerity "what kind of DBT did you do in California?" My chest hurt from the LOLz. 

 

Like I said, I didn't make the comment with the intention to fuck with her, I was just being funny. I mean come on, everyone knows you sacrifice cats for DBT. But now that I know how naive she is... I don't know. It just staggers my mind that she would actually think I was being serious. That is one of those comments that are so off the wall the only proper response is to roll your eyes and say "Danie, shut up." That reminds me another quip I made that she took seriously that I didn't register until now. I told her I spelled my name Danie because I was to lazy to write out the "lle". 

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Would you say overall your first session was successful?

 

I can understand that having a therapist that understands your humor is important; mainly because I am a very sarcastic individual, and I need a therapist to follow my conversation & thought process.

 

But in retrospect, I have found that relationships with doctors develop over time to where they see how you react & interact. It's part of the process of finding a therapist, and making it work. I wouldn't be too submissive of her quite yet, because the dynamic of the doctor/patient relationship will unfold as sessions go by.

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