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OMG, I'm crawling the walls


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I thought getting out of the house would help, so I'm at the local coffee shop with the plan to work on my novel. The problem is I'm so anxious I'm practically crawling the walls. I'm thinking about going blonde. Maybe purple. Or pink. I've been talking to my pdoc about mania. I have racing thoughts, and I haven't really been fiscally responsible this last week. I'm sleeping just fine, so that leads me to believe that I'm not manic. I've never been manic as far as I know. But I'm pretty sure he wants to switch me to bipolar. I guess I need to go over the criteria and see if there is something I'm missing. Yes I drive recklessly when I get wound up tighter than a tic, but that is an anxiety response. Wow I want to go back to sleep. We have potential buyers going through the house so I can't be there, maybe- I don't know where I was going with that. I took two klonapin and that doesn't seem to help. I'm supposed to be writing for NaNoWriMo, but I'm so far behind I don't think I'm ever going to catch up. Damn my laziness. I have this Dr.'s appt coming at 3. 2.5 hours away. I can do this. Tough face: grrr. I have so many scenarios floating through my head. All more crazy than the other. I trimmed my lady garden and I did an horrible job. It is a total hack. He is going to mock me. And I know I should have left it alone, but I had 70's bush and I was seriously considering dreding my pubic hair.Yeah, not acceptable. I got my husband to help with the trimming because I'm too fat to access my nethers properly. God do I hate being fat. (As I pound my second large hot cocoa.) I've got this new obsession, I don't know where it is coming from. but I keep looking at my engagement ring and I want to sell it. I don't think it has to do with any problems I'm having with my husband, I mean we have some problems, but they are minor at the least. I don't think we are connecting like we have in the past. And it is my fault, I'm being deliberately evasive. But that is a far leap to wanting to sell my engagement ring. We don't need the money so that isn't even an excuse. I don't know what is going on in my mind the jungle has grown over. Um, yeah. Maybe I should go back to the desk at the coffee shop and order a calming tea instead of this coca. Maybe they will spike it with some coffee liqueur for me. :)  

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Well, your post is very fast and erratic (I don't mean to offend).  Do you normally talk/write fast when you're feeling anxious?  It also seems like your thoughts are bouncing around a lot.   I'm not sure what you wanted from your post other than to vent and get some of your energy out.  I hope your doctor's appointment is productive.

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You are changing topics quickly. I'm glad you've been talking to your pdoc. I wouldn't make major decisions (like selling your ring) right now. Do you see your pdoc soon?  

 

I've been manic while still sleeping okay.  You don't need to have all of the symptoms.

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I don't see my pdoc for another 3 weeks. He is oot for the whole next week. I don't know what I was looking for with that post, hints to deal with my anxiety maybe. But I've seen the Doc now and the anxious part is over. Clean bill of health. No- parts good, boobies good, my lady parts haven't betrayed me. Yay! Thanks for reading.

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hi

 

glad things went well with the doctor and good luck with the psychiatrist. I have such bad anxiety at the moment that I am shaking from the inside and my heart palpitation's are every five minutes. the best thing I can say to deal with anxiety is for the short term is to go for a walk, it seem to help me a little with the racing thoughts, my racing thoughts play on a loop, I think this is OCD?, maybe ask him about the possibility of OCD?

Edited by isthisit?
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