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Time to stop it NOW!


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What a way to pop my posting cherry :lol:

 

I'm am so over my OCD. I hate it, I detest it and I want to stick tiny pins in it so it will shrivel up and disappear.

 

Over the past 20 years I have struggled with OCD. From age 9 it presented as a phobia of germs (oh to be obsessed about that now), it progressed to safety ie personal safety but more so house security. Both of these with compulsions hand washing to the degree I had to wear one white cotton glove and an intensive counting ritual of doors and windows. Moving forward it settled on religious obsessions for a while and then safety again, this time protecting my cousins from bullies, sexual abuse or assault, while still obsessing and counting about locked doors.

 

This pretty much brings us up to the present. I still check doors to make sure they are locked, I still check my sheets to make sure there are no bugs (and for some odd reason my clean clothes and underwear!) but I have cut it down from an excessive number to between 2-8 times depending on my anxiety at the time.

 

All this I can deal with. What I can't deal with in my worry about me or someone else sexually abusing my children. The thoughts, anxiety and fear sicken me, stalk me, torture me and I can't make them stop and I wish and hope they will but I doubt they will which then makes me even more scared. I am sick of the fear, the guilt and the hate I feel towards myself. I hate the fact I get scared to hug my kids incase I hurt them. I hate that I watch everyone who is alone with them with suspicion.

 

While this is a rant it is also a question. Where do I go from here? My medication isn't masking it at all IMO. I have an appt with psychiatrist soon and am looking at a med change. Last couple of tries were down in a clinic due to some severe reactions to GP's starting me on high doses. I haven't tried CBT. I am just working regularly with a psychologist but maybe it is time to ramp my treatment and management up. Because I am f%$#ing over it :glare:

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First, welcome to CB!

 

It must be awful dealing with such terrible intrusive thoughts. Thoughts like that are such an overlooked and painful form of OCD.

 

For some people (myself included) SSRIs just don't do enough for OCD (actually for me, they did virtually nothing). Maybe adding on an antipsychotic could be helpful? Worth discussing with pdoc anyway. I see you've tried Seroquel, but there are big differences between different AAPs, so even if that disagreed with you another one could be helpful. Unfortunately meds tend to be very hit-or-miss. I'm just suggesting AAPs because they've helped me a lot.

 

Therapy-wise...I haven't had much luck with Exposure-Response, although many people do swear by it. I prefer the 4-step system outlined in the book Brain Lock. Just a personal preference, and certainly not for everybody, but you might try giving it a read. Intrusive thoughts are tough to treat with exposure anyway, and the approach in the book is supposed to help you move your thoughts on to other topics, which can hopefully eventually become a habit.

Edited by starship_subaru
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CBT has some good techniques for getting a handle on your thoughts, like using thought records and though stopping.  I think you need a multi-focus approach to dealing with OCD.  Is your therapist willing to try several different approaches like the ones mentioned by other posters?

 

I also second the suggestion for using an atypical anti-psychotic like Seroquel, Zyprexa or Risperidal.

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In addition to CBT, ACT therapy is very good. Sometimes a combination of CBT and ACT is better. ACT teaches you to notice thoughts and impulses and not feel that you need to react to them.

 

Edit: As far as meds go, I have found that low dose risperidone to augment SSRIs is helpful to offset OCD.

Edited by jt07
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I'm a newbie here, but I take sertraline (Zoloft) for my OCD and it's working wonders. It's my understanding that it's considered a first-line treatment. Another thing you could maybe keep in mind to discuss with your pdoc?

 

ERP (exposure-response therapy) didn't really do any good for me until after I got on my meds, but these days it's starting to be pretty helpful for me. It's my understanding that it's a highly recommended form of CBT for OCD folks. Maybe you could talk to your therapist about it? Meds + ERP gives the best prognosis as far as I understand it.

 

I can certainly empathize with your frustration, and I hope you find a way out of this.

 

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