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Finding hope in the storm of MI


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Well, a little over a week ago, I was at the end of my rope, I was losing my grip, I was delusional, paranoid, I was unwell. I took a huge step and went in for IP treatment...even though last time I swore I would never do so again. I took a step...not off a cliff or bridge, but into a hospital where I could possibly get better. And I didn't possibly get better. I got better. I got well. My diagnosis did change, I used to be dx with just BP. But now it is Schizoaffective-bipolar type. I was blessed to be put on one of the best units the hospital had and met incredible fellow MI sufferers. I tried to go to all group therapy meetings, even if I could only stay for short periods of time. I was tried on two  new medications while there. First try: Risperdal...this did not work for me, and made me feel worse. Second try: Geodon...this DID work for me, and I feel incredible, and have a sense of clarity in my thinking and thought process. I am still on lithium and klonopin. And feel very stable. While IP I made the decision and only me, that I was going to quit my job and I did. I am now seeking SSI, as I feel working can be toxic for me. I am open to part time employment at a very low stress calm environment job (does that exist, lol?) I have an appt. set up for a new psychiatrist for next week and a therapy appt. with a new therapist tomorrow.  I have the world at my finger tips. I want to encourage others who are going through a really hard time with their MI and are at the end of their rope and losing their grip to seek help. Take that step. The step towards recovery.

 

Thank you for reading.

:)

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I'm so glad you're doing so much better.  One warning about receiving SSDI is that it's a long process.  One  has to have a long hx of proven MI and the hospitalization will be quite beneficial in the application process.   Please consider keeping good records of all appts.    And go see your pdoc and tdoc on regular basis.  Lastly, stay medication compliant.   

 

If you meant SSI, you'll not get enough money to live off.  But you can apply for other gov. benefits.

Good luck.  And take care.

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I'm so glad you're doing so much better.  One warning about receiving SSDI is that it's a long process.  One  has to have a long hx of proven MI and the hospitalization will be quite beneficial in the application process.   Please consider keeping good records of all appts.    And go see your pdoc and tdoc on regular basis.  Lastly, stay medication compliant.   

 

If you meant SSI, you'll not get enough money to live off.  But you can apply for other gov. benefits.

Good luck.  And take care.

I have been hospitalized 6 times and seen numerous pdocs so I have a history for the past 4 years. I know it will be a long process but its a start towards a more stable future.

 

Thank you for your support, and yeah I plan to do some type of low pay job while on SSI.

Edited by Butterflykisses
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Such a history will shorten the approval for SSDI.   SSI kicks in if you have low amount of SSDI coming to you.

 

I know this b/c I was just approved for SSDI and it took me over three years for approval letter.  My pdoc explained to me that it took so long b/c I have never been hospitalized.   

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Thank you! This is a really good post. I am so glad that this worked out well for you. You don't even seem to be upset about the new diagnosis! Nice. If you actually are it makes perfect sense, but if you're not and you accept that, that's a sweet deal. 

 

I am so glad you had a positive experience. God I fucking hate the negative ones, That'll tear you down fast sometimes. 

 

Hope this continues for a long time for you. I don't think it would be easy to go IP again, even though my experience was pretty good like yours (honestly though, SOME of those group activities were not my bag and I had to go so I didn't laugh uncontrollably at the useless SHIT the speaker that was hired to do the job was spewing, but it just didn't apply to me. Some people really liked it. To each their own) but it was worth it because like you, I got better.

 

Gotta keep that in mind because going IP is difficult on so many damn levels it's frustrating. But then good things like what you just wrote could happen and it may be the one thing that's really worth the time and energy you put into it, assuming the environment is useful as well because I bet without that it really is much harder.

 

You went through this 6 times? Good on you! Not easy. 

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Butterfly, I'm really glad to hear you're stepping out and being proactive. That's not always easy to do when society has expectations that conflict with what you know you need. Quitting a high-paying job is tough to do, but if it's a stressor and a trigger it's the right thing to do. There are low-stress jobs out there, and working part time is a good way to go. It gets you out of the house and out of your head for a while each day but still leaves you with the energy and time to devote to getting better.

 

You've taken that first step. It sounds like you have an exciting path forward. That's a great place to be in!

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Butterfly, I'm really glad to hear you're stepping out and being proactive. That's not always easy to do when society has expectations that conflict with what you know you need. Quitting a high-paying job is tough to do, but if it's a stressor and a trigger it's the right thing to do. There are low-stress jobs out there, and working part time is a good way to go. It gets you out of the house and out of your head for a while each day but still leaves you with the energy and time to devote to getting better.

 

You've taken that first step. It sounds like you have an exciting path forward. That's a great place to be in!

Luckily the job I had was a part time low pay job that was far and cost me a lot of gas money so it wasn't a huge loss.

Thank you everybody for your support. I met with my new therapist today and it went really well. She is very nice and listens and so far so good. Hope my new pdoc will be good as well.

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Glad to see an inspiring/positive post.  And I'm glad for you.

I'm pretty leery of going IP again due to shitty docs in the only short-stay ward in the city.  However I know that if my pdoc (whom I trust very very much) instructs me to go, I will.  Even despite my last shitty experience with the docs when I had to go IP in June, it still really helped me, I got what I needed out of it.

 

I'm so glad you took steps toward bettering your health and situation.

 

I can relate a little bit.  Though I was fired from my job, ultimately.  But I've decided that I need to not work (for however long) and focus on my health right now, and I'm applying for disability too.

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I hope everything is continuing to go well :)

 

Everything is still going very well. The Geodon makes me tired at times, to the point where I need a good nap. But besides that everything is still looking up. I see a new pdoc tomorrow and am praying she doesn't mess with my meds. Also I hired a lawyer to advocate for me during the SSI process. They are very reputable, so I am hoping everything with that works out and I easily get approved. :)

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