Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

He all of a sudden started talking to me again ...


Recommended Posts

This has to do with this previous thread of mine (for background info):

 

http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/59250-being-asexual-and-being-around-others-who-arent/

 

 

We haven't talked for over a year.  So Idk WTF.

 

Anyway, I was waiting outside the other day for a ride, and had my headphones on.  He came out the door, put some trash in the dumpster, then came back over to me as if nothing was different, and started talking to me.

 

He said, "Hi!  How are you doing?"  Mind you, I had headphones on the whole time and never took them off, so Idk why he even stood there talking to me.  I said, "Fine."  Then he said, "What have you been up to?"  I said, "Nothing."  He said, "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"  I said, "Parents."  He said "Where you off to?  Shopping?" (meaning grocery shopping), and I slightly nodded my head with a wtf expression on my face.  Like where the hell is this coming from.  Then he says, "So I take it you've been to the big Market Basket," (new, huge, grocery store).  I nodded no, saying nothing.  And he continues to say,"Oh yeah?  You should try it out ... you get lost in there though."  And I just stood there.  Still with my headphones on.  And he said, " Well I'll talk to you later," and headed off to his car.

 

What was I supposed to do?  He caught me so off-guard I couldn't process it all except to think that we haven't talked for over a year and you all of a sudden are talking to me now as if nothing has changed?

 

I thought this whole thing was finally over with.  We avoided each other, no talking to each other, except he might say hi once in awhile, but I didn't respond.  And now he's started up again.

 

What do I say to him so he leaves me alone (if he approaches me again)?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe you could say, "You have said and done things that have made me feel uncomfortable and violated, I don't want any contact with you in the future, please don't talk to me if you see me around the around".

 

ETA: If you find it hard to be assertive, like I do, slipping a letter under his door might be an easier way to get the message across.

Edited by mcjimjam
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What. a. jerk. He knows you don't like confrontation, and is taking advantage of you again. Tell him you do not consider him a friend, and are not interested in talking with him. Or, if you don't want to get into it, just point at your earbuds, and turn away from him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, you are right, confrontation is hard for me.  But then again I don't think I want to slip a piece of paper under his door because he will definitely take that opportunity to ask me about it when he sees me next.  Even if it says to please not talk to me, bother me, leave me alone, or anything really.  He's like that.

 

I think I'm going to have to just totally ignore him, meaning if he is talking to me, just not say a word and look away.  I know I'll have my headphones on because I always do when I am waiting, so I know he can't get me without them on.  What I'm worried about is that he will keep on talking anyway to get me to say something.  He doesn't take a hint.  I think I have it in me to at least tell him to not talk to me.  I know though if I do this he'll ask why, if I ask him to leave me alone ... He'll take ANY opportunity to make conversation.  I fuckin hate this.

 

And the thing is, nothing has changed.  This is all out of the blue.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Predators and Users are like that.  They may move on to use and abuse other people and leave you alone for a while but eventually they have a quiet time, get bored, and wander your way again.  Just in case; just because you might; just because they don't have the moral or emotional understanding to get that what they are doing is just plain ugly and deeply wrong.

 

You managed so well last time  ...  Do exactly what you are planning, ignore the bugger.  No eye contact, no head movements,  no words, no nothing!   I think that because you managed to break the contact before he will not persist for as long this time around.

 

You do realise how well you managed this situation, don't you ?   In our hyper social world it is very,very,hard to end contact with anyone  ...  it just goes against every social instinct we have.     Big Hugs ...  Nana

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Predators and Users are like that.  They may move on to use and abuse other people and leave you alone for a while but eventually they have a quiet time, get bored, and wander your way again.  Just in case; just because you might; just because they don't have the moral or emotional understanding to get that what they are doing is just plain ugly and deeply wrong.

 

You managed so well last time  ...  Do exactly what you are planning, ignore the bugger.  No eye contact, no head movements,  no words, no nothing!   I think that because you managed to break the contact before he will not persist for as long this time around.

 

You do realise how well you managed this situation, don't you ?   In our hyper social world it is very,very,hard to end contact with anyone  ...  it just goes against every social instinct we have.     Big Hugs ...  Nana

 

Thanks :)  I try my best to ignore this guy and you are right, he is like a predator.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...