Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Others using your mental illness as a way to discredit you. HELP


Lingpra
 Share

Recommended Posts

This is a call for help. I want your story.

 

I had an Adult Children of Alcoholics sponsor which is a 12 step program. When we got to step 3 we disagreed on my choice of a higher power. Mine was the group and books I read, and my sponsor wanted me to accept a Buddhist higher power.

 

When he saw that we agreed to disagree he used my mental illness to discredit me. He tried to make me paranoid and got really nasty last Wednesday on the drive to a public meeting. But his message to me was that he saw I wouldn't agree to his higher power so he attempted to make me seem paranoid among my friends to discredit me.

 

I would like to hear your experience of ways that people tried to discredit you using your mental illness as a weakness.

 

He also would keep telling me that if I completed the 12 steps that I could stop taking my meds and get "cured".

 

Thanks for the support!!

Edited by Lingpra
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can you report him to a higher up? He has no right to belittle you, period. He isn't a medical doctor, and has no right to discuss your medication in terms of your counseling. Am I missing something, or isn't it that you have a *relative* who is and addict, not that *you* are an addict? Again, this is a worn out comparison, but if you were diabetic, and became a good Buddhist, would you be able to give up your insulin?

 

He doesn't get to pick your higher power! What if you were a Christian, would he try to force you to be a Buddhist then?

 

Although I think saying books and your group is too concrete. Maybe your love of knowledge and Humanity? I think there *is* a secular way of referring to a higher power, but the higher power bit is why I don't like AA or the family offshoots of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I would like to hear your experience of ways that people tried to discredit you using your mental illness as a weakness.

 

Most of the time, whatever I say to people is asked to another person also, because what I say *probably* isn't right, coming from someone with SZA.  Even one time, I had a tick on me, showed my 5 year old niece, and then put it in the toilet.  I told someone later about it, and he didn't believe me; he had to see it.  And I said I flushed it, but to ask my niece because she saw it.  And because my niece said she saw it too, I was finally  believed.

 

A lot of what I say is doubted by people.  Part of the problem though is that because I am doubted all the time, I start to doubt myself, even though I know exactly what I am talking about. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lingpra, to me your sponsor sounds like an asshole (as mentioned already), and a dangerous one at that.

First of all, he doesn't get to choose which higher power you believe in (if any).

And secondly, he most certainly doesn't get to make decisions about your medication. That's something that's between you and your doctor only.

 

I second crtclms's suggestion, you definitely should report this guy somewhere higher up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i agree with the other posters  sounds like hes on an power trip ,then when you didnt agree,he felt his slim grasp on power slipping,so brought up your mental illness in an attempte to discredit you,sounds very agrivateing give your self credit for not tearing his holyier than thou little head off

 

as for the comment that if you completed the 12 steps youd be cured that sounds like an old and very outdated view that  mental illness and other illness were caused by evil spirits and a lack of morals, and that acceaptance of this or that religouse idea,higher power or in this case completion of the twelve steps would cure the person

which is complete nonsense, 

 i agree he abused his position and should be reported 

at the very least you should have the option of picking a different sponsor ,but i dont know how that system works?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi thank you everyone I sent this replies to support my case to my friend who was also another sponsee of my sponsor. These replies gave enough weight to my case that he'll remain friends with me. I went to my local support group and talked about this and they told me to report him to a higher up as well. My ex-sponsor had some red flags on his character such as being in a relationship with one of his sponsees and he has a food and sex addiction. Me on the other hand, I have no addictions I just lived with a family of alcoholics, I've been reliable and in good standing with the other sponsee (not the one in the relationship). I fired my sponsor via email so I have it in writing and I can prove what he said.

Edited by Lingpra
Link to comment
Share on other sites

my experience is similar to melissa's. i'm discredited based on diagnosis (paranoid schizophrenia) and others' reporting is viewed as legitimate, even if it concerns me, my mental state, my feelings, what i'm thinking, etc...my statements/claims are easily dismissed without a second person to confirm. and should there be a disagreement, again, even if it concerns me...i'm overridden as delusional or too sick to accurately report my experience...even when i'm at my most stable...more often than not.

 

it sucks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

No one has the right to tell you what to believe in. It sounds like his problem.

 

I once went to a Nurses appointment to have a blood sample and smear test.

 

I am naturally quite worried about my health and chatted to her while she took the blood sample.

She said "well you are on medication", which made me feel like i couldn't have a legitimate health problems, or concerns,as it must all just be in my head, i was also angry that she had access to my medical records.

 

She then said "people in this area have much worse health problems than you", i felt embarassed and like an inconvience.She then wanted to do my smear test, but there was no way i was letting her near my intimate area, so i lied and said i didn't have time and then rang the docters a few days later to re-arange it.

 

Iam now thinking of making a formal complaint and im angry at the way she made me feel, i had as much right as any other patient to have my tests and ask about my health, she was unprofessional and ignorent about MI.

Edited by neptunesky
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's totally reasonable for a nurse taking your bloods and doing a smear to have access to your medical records. Her vieiwing them and adding to them would be logged and recorded and date stamped, so she couldn;t mess with them. But yes, if someone is taking your blood and taking swabs of your cervix, they do need to know about your health, name, gender, any meds you are in, any conditions that might make you keel over in the office. Plus having access to meds system means she can record things for the GP who sees you next.

 

It sounds a bit like maybe you have confused what she said and not taken a balanced view on it. If you were talking about your veins and the ease with which she got the blood text done, some meds can cause it to be harder to get bloods. I doubt she meant anything negative by it. How you felt because you assumed she meant your illnesses made you health less important is how you felt, not what she actually said to you.

 

I'd encourage you to talk to the practice and get some clarity because it doesn';t sound like this nurse meant to make you feel uncomfortable. It also doesn;t sound you are clear on who can access your records and why.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for your reply, i feel we should know who had access to our records and why.

 

I will clarify what i meant, i was chatting to the nurse about why i was having the blood tests (my symptoms), it was for liver functioning tests and to check my hormone levels, i was chatting about my general concerns for my health and her response was to tell me i was on medication, i felt implying that i wasn't able to think rationally, as i tend to babble when i'm in the presence of medical professionals as i get very anxious in that situation.

 

I feel it was also out of line for her to guilt trip me about other patcients in the area, the docter had said she wanted blood tests and my first smear was due so she booked the appoitment, it wasn't like i was being paranoid and insisted i get an appointment when i didn't need one and at the detriment to other patients, the Docter had ordered these tests.

 

Still feel she was out of line.

Edited by neptunesky
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Again, I'm not clear on what the chatting was, but it'd be normal to mention the fact you're on medication when discussing the need for a blood test and your liver function, unless she said it in direct reference to dismiss a health concern, then it's possible she was just acknowledging with you that she knew you were on meds and so would naturally have concerns about your health.

 

If it made you feel uncomfortable to the point of leaving, it's definitely worth flagging up and resolving so you can go to the doctors again without feeling anxious about the incident.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will clarify again, i was chatting about my health concerns and her responce was to tell me i'm on medication, i don't think that fair on me and i feel i should be able to talk about my health concerns and be listened to, not just dimissed because i'm on medication. When i see the docter, they know that my anxiety is probably making me feel like i might have a serious illness, but they don't dismiss me, they calmy talk through my symptoms and then ask me how my mental health is at the moment, they are professional and make me feel safe.

 

She also told me that she didn't think i had a fast metabolism because "that's what skinny people have",

i used to weigh 102 lbs and was bulimic for nearly 5 years, she was also double my size.

 

I don't think i will complain, i have enough problems going on in my life, i will just never book an appoitment with her again.

Edited by neptunesky
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

She also told me that she didn't think i had a fast metabolism because "that's what skinny people have",

 

I would have been like WTF.   I don't think that had anything to do with what you were talking to her about.  I mean, maybe you were talking about metabolism or something, but singling out "skinny people" having a fast metabolism, to me, seems like it was something that did not need to be added to the conversation.  Just my thoughts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

So the OP was asking about other experiences that people have had where MI was used to discredit them.

 

There are some really clear examples... and it sucks that there are clear examples.

 

Other people have more to say about that topic?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel as if my opinion, emotions, or even factual encounters are discredited because of MI.

 

The most common occurance I run into is with medical professionals, actually.

 

To add another clear example:

I went to see an Rheumatologist for muscle & joint pain. I have a family history of RA, Celiac Disease, & Lupus so I figured my concerns would be treated properly. They were not. I was being treated for Unipolar Depression & Social Anxiety at that time and was told the reason I was having joint pain, was because I was depressed. Are you fucking kidding me? I was sent out the door. Silenced & humiliated once more, by a person you would think would have known better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One other thing I forgot to say is that I am also discredited in the ER every time I go there, for a clearly PHYSICAL cause.  The first question I am asked is when did I see my pdoc last.  They check me for all MI-related stuff, then do the physical part.  I avoid that place like the plague.  Just because I have a MI doesn't mean every time I go to the ER I am there for that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...