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Suddenly when confronted with some testing for my graduated child I am a wreck so anxious and being anxious for nearly two weeks now is very depressing. I am one who feels everything is my fault. I also do not trust people much and have been made to have  our home in a rural county ( nice house that it is) . No way to make new friends as  taking a job after raising my kids so long sends me  into constant panic attacks which  none of my meds are helping. I take lexapro in the morning and recently tried klonopin ( which did less than xanax) I take cymbalta mid day and before bed. Dr said stop the klonopin but did not replace it. I have been talking to a christian counselor who says if I talk about the negative and do not rely on my faith and what the bible says my faith will not help. Very hard I cannot see an in person counselor until next wednesday he seemed calming and empathetic.Although he gave me the option of going inpatient for 4 or 5 days  which would really lay on my guilty feelings and amp up my anxiety plus depress me to thinking I am crazy enough for inpatient . I do absolutely everything for my kids/family so they would be  very lost and feel abandoned and like I am sick in the head.

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Welcome to Crazyboards! I think that you'll find a lot of support as there are many people here in the same boat as you. I realize that you do everything for your family, but I think that you owe it to them to take care of yourself. They won't feel lost or abandoned for the few days that you would be gone. I think that they would be happy that you are getting the care that you need.

 

Anyway, welcome aboard! We are glad that you found us.

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Welcome to CBs. The people who post/chat here are very accepting and helpful. I am glad you found a place to share your thoughts and feelings.

 

I agree that your family can only benefit from a healthy, happy you, even if that means a 4 or 5 day stay in a hospital.

 

Mental illness does not care what your faith may be any more than physical illiness would and it doesn't afflict only those who have no faith. Please don't worry that you are deficient in your beliefs because you suffer from illness. I am sure your counselor is well-meaning, but we all sometimes need additional help. That's just brain chemistry.

 

You are always welcome here and you are not alone.

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Faith may be something that is important to you, and that keeps you engaged to some extent. But it cannot treat mental illness. Church leaders telling people with mental illness that they aren't praying enough, or they need to have greater faith, etc., is an extremely well known phenomenon, and it is often hard to get spiritual leaders to admit that you have a physical illness. Which is what mental illness is, it is an illness of the brain, which manifests as mood changes, or psychoses, or anxiety.

 

Especially if you are isolated, it is hard to deal with anxiety on your own. If you are unable to see a pdoc or a psychologist, there is a good workbook that you can do by yourself, The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. It teaches you how to address anxiety using cognitive behavioral therapy. I took a class where we used the book, but it is still useful even if you can't get the feedback you'd get from a class.

 

This is no substitute for seeing a therapist or pdoc. It is a tool to help, but not a medical treatment. You will be much more present for your family if you can get your anxiety under control, so please don't think of it as abandoning them. The better you feel, the better you will be able to do all you wish to do for your family. Would you feel like one of your children was abandoning you if they were sick, and had to go into a hospital for several days? I doubt it.

 

Good luck.

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