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How do you stop acknowledging your hallucinations when you don't know that's what they are until you've reacted to them (for example, talking back to a voice, or asking someone if they heard something you just heard)? My tdoc says I have good insight because I don't believe my hallucinations, but is that really true? The voices and sounds do trick me to start. The other day I heard whispering in my godkids backyard that I responded to because I knew my friend was going down the alley. And I've asked my friend if he heard a plane when I heard one buzz the house. Or when I hear women scream, and no one else does.

I don't know, about 7 times out of 10, that it's a hallucination until after investigation. Sound familiar? I am suspicious a lot of the time, though.

Idk, doesn't seem like such great insight.

Edited by exl2398
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I think you have the insight to question them and acknowledge them as hallucinations afterward.  I had a time where I thought people were purposely doing things to make me respond, so I would act like nothing happened.  If the people around you understand then that is a great way to reality check, by asking them if they heard it too.  I have a friend who has a service dog and she looks to see if he puts his ears up when she hears a sound.

 

I don't know that I have realized they were hallucinations at the time. I still have doubts that maybe people were just in a room next door where i could hear them but not see.

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i think "good" is relative

 

there's a "spectrum" so to speak of...like...maybe once you ever realize or believe what you hear or see or feel are "hallucinations"...or that certain thought structures are "delusions"...some people say that have that all the time kinda...like...they always suspect or something. and then maybe there're people who it takes a lot of work and maybe they always startle at first...but they can reality test...they even conceive of "reality testing"

 

i think those are defo what i would consider folks with strong insight or high level or whatever qualifier is appropriate

 

and then there are people who never have any insight whatsoever. none. and who aren't treatment responsive. 

 

and then there are people whose severity of cognitive and disorganized symptoms ...you would have to spend a lot of time..before you could really say whether there's insight or not

 

those groups i would say have very little to no insight

 

and i think a lot of people...if you're florid you're not gonna have any...and if you're stabilized...a lot of people have a livable amount

 

i think that group is kinda what i see as..like...a substantial percentage of people i've known over the years with schizophrenia

 

 

ultimately...i don't know how to assess anyone else's level of insight because i don't really have a grasp of mine. i had none for...like...out of twenty years....none for let's say seventeen because ...well..maybe more like nineteen..i forget what year we're in and so forth. but, defo none when florid or at all psychotic...zero. i still don't. i don't question at all. it's...i don't have to always exhort on the truth and so forth to others publicly...but...anyone who suggests that i might be "delusional"....the judgement is swift and rigid and aggressive if pressed.there's NO ...i adopt it immediately and defend it unilaterally.

 

it used to be that even when relatively "stable"... clever fuckers,  they convinced me to take meds for several years. but i always thought they were full of shit as far as the whole....you have this and this is real and that's not and blah blah blah. i didn't have side effects..and...i somehow, yeah, i let them convince me they were these brain sealants..is how i'd explain them. but i still protested vociferously whenever i as accused of having this fucking thing that t...i'm not going to go into it because..i have some amount now and some amount of shame potential...so... i contested it with medial offices...psychiatrists...anyone who learned of it or found out. i went and filed legal action (only once) to have my diagnosis expunged from my medical record on the grounds that it is neither the case that i manifest "paranoid schizophrenia" nor that i am personally suffering from any mental illness. it was after this insurance thing if i recall correctly. i also refused to stay in any hospital under voluntary commission. i contested involuntary holds and emergency medication...the i literally could not see how on earth the criteria they were saying...they symptoms...it was like they were fucking with me...and telling me the earth is trapezoidal and the atmosphere primarily bromine and that i'm actually a frog. 

 

it's called anosognosia...and frankly...as least i was sure of something

 

the past year..maybe fifteen months....i can see that maybe...at times...like...i stil don't believe that "consensus reality" is the sole "reality" or...i don't give a fuck if nobody else perceives or conceives as i do. that is entirely irrelevant to the veracity of the blueprint and explanations i have. i make just as much ...i'm as cohesive in my worldview as "consensus reality" and i don't need a majority vote to confirm it for me.

 

but...i'd say...my jury's prolly.....at most fifty fifty...thinking..it's a coin toss...but most of the time i think i'm probably right and it's probably all bullshit and i can explain in detail why the oppression of consensus reality reigns as some exclusive realm of truth and "reality". but i'm pretty well medicated and there're a couple of persons who are borne of and completely immersed within it...and that's the only place i can find them. there's only been one person in my life who could not just...try to comprehend...but go with mine...spend time in it...and i his. i'm trying to figure out how to operate within it not because i believe it entirely or certain bits ever...but because not being able to exist within it at all is isolating. 

 

i think my level of insight is mid range right now. but mostly because having had none...i thought "insight" was like an orwellian twist... that attributing it to someone was another way of saying drank the koolaid or willing to pretend to have. and *I* was the insightful one knowing that the model of mental illness seeks to discredit those who pr

 

anyway...i don't know where you fit in there...if your psychiatrist says you have or don't have to whatever degree...they're way on board with the consensus reality and they're looking for compliance and submission ..not that others are submissive i'm n

 

scratch that; read this: i think you should ask your psychiatrist how "level" or.....degree of insight is gauged...if there's a scale or whatever and what the criteria are, so to speak....and how magnitude is evaluated. and then ask him/her to explain to you why s/he places you at point *dot* on the spectrum. and maybe describe point *dot plus fifteen* and *dot minus fifteen* and then you can see an objective perspective. or at least a clinical one. 

Edited by mellifluous
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How do you stop acknowledging your hallucinations when you don't know that's what they are until you've reacted to them

 

For me it took a lot of willpower.  And medication.  And embarrassment.  I just went with the notion that if I couldn't see something or prove something, it wasn't real.  I used to answer to everything/everyone though and it was very hard to stop.  But there came a time when the embarrassment of talking to "no one" was so great that unless the person was speaking directly to me and I could see their lips, I wouldn't respond back.  I can't name the amount of embarrassing situations I have been in.

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scratch that; read this: i think you should ask your psychiatrist how "level" or.....degree of insight is gauged...if there's a scale or whatever and what the criteria are, so to speak....and how magnitude is evaluated. and then ask him/her to explain to you why s/he places you at point *dot* on the spectrum. and maybe describe point *dot plus fifteen* and *dot minus fifteen* and then you can see an objective perspective. or at least a clinical one.

I'll do that. Thanks for your replies, guys.

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