Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

IndieVisible

How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

Recommended Posts

Huge amounts of stress & dread about housing & (quote-unquote) care that's tied into it. This is prettymuch a constant state of affairs, though it hit Whisper real bad yesterday. It's causing a lot of.. Bad symptoms.

Tri

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seems the two Ativan helped with akathisia.  It's gotten really bad lately.  Most likely work.  Work is beyond stressful.  It's how my body reacts to stress. It's a exhausting.  I need sleep.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

a strange hodge-podge of feelings.  ashamed of what the US has done with the election (or half of it that is...but in theory all are responsible).  terrified by what might come, politically-speaking.  angry at those who claim to "give him a chance" given how little a chance they gave our former  president.  sad that our former president is now our former president.  thrilled by all the people throughout the world today who are marching today (I saw a picture of one in Malawi, which I thought was cool).  equally scared that it's necessary and yet may not change things.  hopeful that it might spark an interest in staying involved for things that do sometimes make a difference (phone calls/letters/etc.). 

beyond that, frustrated that I'm still supposed to be on crutches because I don't have the endurance or strength to do it the way I'm supposed to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not well. Neither physically nor mentally.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Feel like I am the dork that got invited to the dance by the high school jock ... but he never showed up and it was all a joke. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am feeling pissed off hurt and relieved 

I'm a fixer it's what I do ... I fix people 12 hours a day 3 days a  week. People pay to see me to fix them and make them better as their NP primary care person . I am/ was a military officer taking care of hundreds of people underneath me for 20 something years 

it's hard to turn that off. It's hard not to want to try and fix people and try to help even when I do it wrong 

in real life people get it . They see my face they get my hugs they see my smile and they see me cry and they see me concerned and even pissed but at the end of the day they will say they know I care 

I don't know how to communicate this on the internet . Honestly this is the only place I go to the internet except for Amazon And Macy's. So I don't know how to express my feelings or thoughts in chat rooms and boards

Last time I chose to take a break from chat and I asked Pod to ban me for 2 weeks . I was in real life a friend to pod and I saw him just weeks ago . I miss him and another friend who died after putting a gun to his head the day after pod died 

so maybe just maybe I need to focus on getting better I seem to have been on auto pilot and even my family says I have been completely wound up and moving to fast and too hard 

maybe just maybe it's time to just stop and just be stopped and just to be still. Maybe it's time for me just to say good bye and be don't with it all I dunno

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, JustDucky said:

Maybe it's time for me just to say good bye and be don't with it all I dunno

I don't think that is the answer. Maybe just slow it down, as your family has said. Mindfulness meditation can be really helpful for slowing down, and it doesn't have to be yoga or whatever- I make jewelry, sew, paint, do anything with my hands to keep them busy while I let thoughts flow in and out of my mind without getting stuck on them. I can't imagine how hard it is to lose two people you are close to within days of each other. Self-care is going to be really important for you right now. Keep on keepin' on, okay?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Having a case of disappointment where expectations and reality were out of alignment.  It is really pathetic and simple.  Part of it is posting on this board and thinking my input was helpful but never hearing back from op.  The other was a private message situation.  My feelings are slightly hurt and I think I'm being too sensitive.  Last night it made me feel lonely and isolated so I texted my ex personal trainer because I know him in real life.  It just felt right but I could tell part of it was that I want a little affection even though I messaged him about having him back as a trainer.  I have no idea if he would be open to anything other than a trainer-trainee relationship.  He might even have a girlfriend.  It's okay because I'm not that emotionally invested in it.  I'm just a little more open and interested than usual.  Also, it feels like a challenge and that's my specialty.  

Does anyone else fall to pieces when they don't get responses on this site?  

Can somebody please coddle me?  

I wish I was joking.

Edited by TakeAChillPill

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, TakeAChillPill said:

Having a case of disappointment where expectations and reality were out of alignment.  It is really pathetic and simple.  Part of it is posting on this board and thinking my input was helpful but never hearing back from op.  The other was a private message situation.  My feelings are slightly hurt and I think I'm being too sensitive.  Last night it made me feel lonely and isolated so I texted my ex personal trainer because I know him in real life.  It just felt right but I could tell part of it was that I want a little affection even though I messaged him about having him back as a trainer.  I have no idea if he would be open to anything other than a trainer-trainee relationship.  He might even have a girlfriend.  It's okay because I'm not that emotionally invested in it.  I'm just a little more open and interested than usual.  Also, it feels like a challenge and that's my specialty.  

Does anyone else fall to pieces when they don't get responses on this site?  

Can somebody please coddle me?  

I wish I was joking.

I do, I feel like I can really come here for support. But if I dont hear back sometimes.. I feel like I am in the same boat as what I am dealing with people IRL. 

I hear ya, sometimes I look at my old boyfriends Instagram and I am like wow, he is living the life and he seems really happy and I sort of  miss him I haven't seen him in like 8 years. He is in a serious relationship and I know nothing would ever happen between us, but at that moment.. It's just how I feel, but tomorrow I don't even think of him. You aren't pathetic, people get hurt and you can't control how you feel. 

I don't want to get attach to people because that leads to expectation of a friendship or whatever and expectations lead to disappointments. In the end people only care about themselves and what benefits them. And I need to keep reminding myself that.



 

Edited by KnickNak
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, KnickNak said:

I do, I feel like I can really come here for support. But if I dont hear back sometimes.. I feel like I am in the same boat as what I am dealing with people IRL. 

I hear ya, sometimes I look at my old boyfriends Instagram and I am like wow, he is living the life and he seems really happy and I sort of  miss him I haven't seen him in like 8 years. He is in a serious relationship and I know nothing would ever happen between us, but at that moment.. It's just how I feel, but tomorrow I don't even think of him. You aren't pathetic, people get hurt and you can't control how you feel. 

I don't want to get attach to people because that leads to expectation of a friendship or whatever and expectations lead to disappointments. In the end people only care about themselves and what benefits them. And I need to keep reminding myself that.



 

Thanks for the prompt and insightful reply.  I needed that.  I see I'm not alone. 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Angeni Mai
      Lately I've been finding myself believing that there are kangaroos and camels in the backyard but later recognize them as deer. It makes no sense because neither kangaroo nor camel are native to my country. 

      Additionally, I've been having issues with thinking I'm speaking with people and then when I ask them what we were just talking about, they either say we haven't talked about anything for a while or that we were talking about something completely unrelated to what I thought the conversation was. 

      Any ideas of what the Hell might be going on here? I've never had something like this happen persistently up until a few months ago but now it's really becoming a concern. I start seeing a new psychiatrist on the 15th of March, and will bring all of this up, but I kind of wonder if anyone can give me a glimmer of insight of what might be happening here. 
    • By sscott
      Some of my voices tell me their names, and they refer to each other by those names. But the names they use are those of people I have known. I think they intentionally do this as part of an ongoing attempt to induce me to make mistakes and incorrectly think they are humans. But why would an hallucination(s) have motives?
      Furthermore, they actually acknowledge that they do have motives. Often, their stated motive is to cause me to have what they call “a hang-over”, which is a term they use that describes the problems that occur in the real world after misattributing their identity. For example, if I am psychotic or stressed, or if I am reality checking for some reason, I might react to who they ‘say’ they are by posting something incriminating, embarrassing or defamatory on Facebook. But having motives is not the only surprising and inexplicable trait my voices have. They also plan things, they have meetings, and one of them runs a training school in which I am the subject that the students (other voices) use to practice cruelty towards.
      But what really does me in, is an implied association between my voices and my feelings, and I do not mean the feelings I get as a result of hearing certain things, and I do not mean emotions. I mean things like twitching, very increased heart rate, ‘hot flushes’, cramps etc. My voices repeatedly ask “did you feel that?”, as though they are checking whether something they have done has worked. I also occasionally have absolutely terrible feelings that I struggle to be able to describe, and my voices will start ‘saying’ that the shit feelings I am having are a punishment for something that I have recently done.
      But to suggest that my feelings are somehow causally related to my voices is to suggest that my voices have agency, which is absurd. So I am really keen to hear from other people if they suspect that their voices impact their feelings (not moods or emotions) in a determinate, causal way. By this I mean that the voices do something that causes or changes feelings, that is, do your voices ever actually perpetrate changes in your feelings?
    • By Unstrung Harp
      I have changed the name of my blog. My apologies about any potential copyright infringement committed upon other CB bloggers with turtle-themed blogs. The shared turtleness is mere coincidence. I was thinking about this:

      turtles all the way down

      This summer's lesson from the trenches: intense feelings will not kill you (provided you are properly medicated. Please ask your doctor about what he or she can do for you). They will not kill you. You may wish they would. You may feel like they might. But they will not actually kill you. They may drive you to distraction, bring tears and anxiety, make you feel like you are going crazy. And in many ways they are preferable to the alternative. Feeling is part of the human condition. It's good to have a lesson in that now and again. It is good to know that after 27 years as an adult, and many years of therapy, I have internalized a healthy message, which is: feelings will not kill you. Not even intense ones, or ones that feel wrong, or ones that are out of sync with other feelings. That is both comforting and frustrating, but, strangely for me, more comforting than anything else at the moment, even though I feel sort of terrible at the moment. Sometimes you're just going to go through some shit. And maybe going through some shit can be a reminder that you are alive, and have agency in the world, and choices. Good lessons.

      I am capable of learning.

      And it's nice to know that after all of these years together, pdoc/tdoc and I still have things to talk about.

      Yesterday I walked two miles, fueled by a combination of sleep deprivation, adderall, anger, worry and anxiety. But I walked two miles. Forward progression.
×
×
  • Create New...