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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?


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7 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

So very happy for you!

congrats on the job!

Thank you!!

 

I understand how those hateful words continue to be upsetting long after we've realized we're not the problem.

I loved my mother dearly but she could say the meanest things, including repeatedly telling me how much she hated me. It was mostly mental illness and alcohol abuse contributing to it, so while I am able to appreciate that that wasn't all of her, it was not only damaging but made the grieving process after her death more complicated. I hope you have someone supportive and understanding to balance off her negativity. 

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15 minutes ago, ShameShameShame said:

Thank you!!

 

I understand how those hateful words continue to be upsetting long after we've realized we're not the problem.

I loved my mother dearly but she could say the meanest things, including repeatedly telling me how much she hated me. It was mostly mental illness and alcohol abuse contributing to it, so while I am able to appreciate that that wasn't all of her, it was not only damaging but made the grieving process after her death more complicated. I hope you have someone supportive and understanding to balance off her negativity. 

Thanks. I have here!

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I've been awful of late, but I might (hopefully) be pulling out of it. Just thinking that everything is worthless and meaningless but knowing that that's just how I see things, which makes me worthless and meaningless for seeing things that way. There is no hope and we're all doomed to be miserable and alone. Fortunately I don't want to talk to people when I feel like that because that's no way to make friends. I'm writing this so I guess I feel better. But we are all doomed! Doomed I tell ya! Our shoes won't ever be comfortable and our underpants will always be too tight. We're doomed!

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14 hours ago, Fluent In Silence said:

I've been awful of late, but I might (hopefully) be pulling out of it. Just thinking that everything is worthless and meaningless but knowing that that's just how I see things, which makes me worthless and meaningless for seeing things that way. There is no hope and we're all doomed to be miserable and alone. Fortunately I don't want to talk to people when I feel like that because that's no way to make friends. I'm writing this so I guess I feel better. But we are all doomed! Doomed I tell ya! Our shoes won't ever be comfortable and our underpants will always be too tight. We're doomed!

Stop wearing underpants. That's one problem solved.

On 28/09/2018 at 11:24 AM, ShameShameShame said:

I got hired, ladi-da-di-da!!!

Congratulations.

Massive amount of brain fog. I feel like my brain is full of asbestos insulation. 

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tired, thought it was 10 am, jumped out of bed, and realized it was only 7. oh well. Just had some coffee, gonna drag my tired butt to the gym, crush some iron, come back, watch my nephew for a bit, then finally eat some food around 3(intermittent fasting).......sit down watch the pitt game...........lazy day after the gym, been battling a cold

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Hopeful. With the help of a few people that answered my blog, I’m starting to feel some acceptance of my situation with ? donor.  I may or may not be in her will. Either way it is what it is. She won’t change and I need to drop any expectation of receiving any money. Period. 

Feeling positive. I slept almost completely enough. Enough to where I feel ok to take Abby to the park. Yay!

Feeling nervous. Must do more laundry today. Anxious. 

Oh! But I woke up 3 lbs lighter so very happy!

Edited by DammitJanet
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2 minutes ago, looking for answers said:

tired, thought it was 10 am, jumped out of bed, and realized it was only 7. oh well. Just had some coffee, gonna drag my tired butt to the gym, crush some iron, come back, watch my nephew for a bit, then finally eat some food around 3(intermittent fasting).......sit down watch the pitt game...........lazy day after the gym, been battling a cold

Hope you feel better soon. You’re braver than me going to the gym while sick. I only get sick maybe 3x a decade so I cannot deal when it happens! Do you take the zinc lozenges to get over it sooner?

For being sick, I see that as a pretty decent amount of stuff you’ve got going!

Have fun with your nephew. 

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40 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

Hope you feel better soon. You’re braver than me going to the gym while sick. I only get sick maybe 3x a decade so I cannot deal when it happens! Do you take the zinc lozenges to get over it sooner?

For being sick, I see that as a pretty decent amount of stuff you’ve got going!

Have fun with your nephew. 

i have dealt with alot of illness in my life, so im used to pushing through things. plus the gym is my outlet, im really into bodybuilding. when my life spiraled out of control, the gym was one thing i could control, so i dont miss it, even when i dont wanna go. i never tried zinc. does it work? i am just taking decongestants. 

my nephew wont end up with me anyways he has friends down this way ill end up just babysitting lol. 

how are you doing? sleeping any better? vyvanse treating u well still

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tired and annoyed.

i can't believe that f*ck texted me.  my codependent withdrawal got a hit so i'm not in so much pain, but i'm pissed. maybe i'm over-reacting but i think it was a crappy text . i'm reading it to say "i miss my 'pet name for objectified sex toy' ". four days we don't speak and that's what he comes up with?  :cussing: at least i don't want to text him anymore. 

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1 minute ago, looking for answers said:

i have dealt with alot of illness in my life, so im used to pushing through things. plus the gym is my outlet, im really into bodybuilding. when my life spiraled out of control, the gym was one thing i could control, so i dont miss it, even when i dont wanna go.

i never tried zinc. does it work? i am just taking decongestants. 

my nephew wont end up with me anyways he has friends down this way ill end up just babysitting lol. 

how are you doing? sleeping any better? vyvanse treating u well still

I hope I can get that drive for the gym. I somehow don’t see it happening though. ? 

And YES, the zicam or generic form cuts my cold to 1-2 days!

I’m actually starting to sleep better, albeit broken up. Better enough to get the full effect of the Vyvanse though!

Shhh I’ve been taking my tramadol before bed and that could be why...ha. 

Also been taking my Xanax 1mg prn at bedtime instead of evening when I desperately need it. Oh well! Gonna try cbd oil and ashwegandha (sp) herb to see if that helps!

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12 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

I hope I can get that drive for the gym. I somehow don’t see it happening though. ? 

And YES, the zicam or generic form cuts my cold to 1-2 days!

I’m actually starting to sleep better, albeit broken up. Better enough to get the full effect of the Vyvanse though!

Shhh I’ve been taking my tramadol before bed and that could be why...ha. 

Also been taking my Xanax 1mg prn at bedtime instead of evening when I desperately need it. Oh well! Gonna try cbd oil and ashwegandha (sp) herb to see if that helps!

hmm maybe ill go buy some of that after the gym. cant hurt. 

THe drive for the gym, you gotta start, get past the initial pains. and get in a routine. it def helps boost mood, even when ur down, if u can just get there and start u will feel better after. 

lol yeah the tramadol may be helping there. I was sleeping ok. then more broke the past 3-4 days ish. However, im sick, and work was a bear this week, and will be for a few more weeks, so bad i was literally shaking at work. SO i think thats more effecting my sleep than the vyvanse. Especially since i could sleep the first few days, when it seems to hit you the hardest, you know? ONly thing i notice is i feel it 12-14 hours later, and my "sleep " meds dont hit me as hard, but i still fall asleep...........im rambling. My buddy swearrrrrrrrrrs by CBD oil... 

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20 minutes ago, looking for answers said:

hmm maybe ill go buy some of that after the gym. cant hurt. 

THe drive for the gym, you gotta start, get past the initial pains. and get in a routine. it def helps boost mood, even when ur down, if u can just get there and start u will feel better after. 

lol yeah the tramadol may be helping there. I was sleeping ok. then more broke the past 3-4 days ish. However, im sick, and work was a bear this week, and will be for a few more weeks, so bad i was literally shaking at work. SO i think thats more effecting my sleep than the vyvanse. Especially since i could sleep the first few days, when it seems to hit you the hardest, you know? ONly thing i notice is i feel it 12-14 hours later, and my "sleep " meds dont hit me as hard, but i still fall asleep...........im rambling. My buddy swearrrrrrrrrrs by CBD oil... 

Yeah I keep zicam generic on hand nonstop just in case. Works SO fast. 

I used to be religious with the gym when I was restricting my food a lot a few years ago. Hoping I can get there again. 

Hopefully cbd works without any mood side effects. 

Hopefully you sleep better tonight. 

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27 minutes ago, looking for answers said:

hmm maybe ill go buy some of that after the gym. cant hurt. 

THe drive for the gym, you gotta start, get past the initial pains. and get in a routine. it def helps boost mood, even when ur down, if u can just get there and start u will feel better after. 

lol yeah the tramadol may be helping there. I was sleeping ok. then more broke the past 3-4 days ish. However, im sick, and work was a bear this week, and will be for a few more weeks, so bad i was literally shaking at work. SO i think thats more effecting my sleep than the vyvanse. Especially since i could sleep the first few days, when it seems to hit you the hardest, you know? ONly thing i notice is i feel it 12-14 hours later, and my "sleep " meds dont hit me as hard, but i still fall asleep...........im rambling. My buddy swearrrrrrrrrrs by CBD oil... 

I’m trying cbd too. Third night so far. A bit calmer. Finally made it to a semi restful 5 hrs of sleep. I should pick some more up.

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