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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

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On 4/22/2019 at 1:15 AM, charlie_not_chuck said:

I'm in the depressed-hermit-mode. I'm avoiding all the things I need to do in my life. Though I got started with laundry. First time in a month, minus doing some at a friend's house that was just underwear. I've been wearing very dirty clothes for a while lol. 

I need to go to the store. I don't have groceries. I need to get more frozen-to-microwave-easy-things to eat. I'm in low-effort mode. And highly-hyphenated mode. 

Same. Finally did laundry today, did the dirty clothes thing for as long as possible. Actually sort of cooked today (threw stuff + sauce in pan) microwaved rice. Tired. Stressed. Depressed. Worried.

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Leg is hurting right now. Perhaps I overdid it today. I had groceries delivered (thank God for this service) and went outside to meet the driver. Then I had to put away the groceries. Not fun. But boy do I feel better to have eaten since I did not eat anything yesterday and not until 6:30 pm today.

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I am tired. Sleepy but nervous.

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13 hours ago, jt07 said:

Leg is hurting right now. Perhaps I overdid it today. I had groceries delivered (thank God for this service) and went outside to meet the driver. Then I had to put away the groceries. Not fun. But boy do I feel better to have eaten since I did not eat anything yesterday and not until 6:30 pm today.

 

8 hours ago, jt07 said:

I am tired. Sleepy but nervous.

I'm glad you have grocery delivery services available, that will help some......Hope your leg starts feeling better soon...!!

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17 hours ago, jt07 said:

Leg is hurting right now. Perhaps I overdid it today. I had groceries delivered (thank God for this service) and went outside to meet the driver. Then I had to put away the groceries. Not fun. But boy do I feel better to have eaten since I did not eat anything yesterday and not until 6:30 pm today.

I’m sorry everything is so rough for you right now. Pain, hunger, exhaustion, depression. I’m glad you got food...that had to be terrible. 

I hope things start improving for you soon, jt. 💗

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Posted (edited)

As for me... I’m having a rough time with intrusive thoughts and they’re beyond horrifying. So much that I ran two red lights to get home to make sure Abby wasn’t being burned to death in a fire!

So lots of anxiety. 

I think my depression maaaay be improving slightly and unfortunately I think it’s from getting the l-methylfolate back in my system. Don’t get me wrong...I’m shit thrilled it’s happening, but even with the coupon, it’s making it hard to buy any healthy food, AND I’m clinically low on protein which could be why I’m so physically exhausted all the time...but who the hell can afford meat...and I gag on beans. 

Ok, there’s my novella. 

Sorry!

Edited by DammitJanet
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Still hypo.  Still AH, but significantly reduced.  Thankful that I’ll be meeting with my pdoc in about an hour to come up with a revised plan.

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in a good mood. or elevated.

ffs can't even trust my moods anymore.

leagues better than being depressed as the choices would be feeling like shit, crap or garbage.

so yeah..yay

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16 minutes ago, argh said:

in a good mood. or elevated.

ffs can't even trust my moods anymore.

leagues better than being depressed as the choices would be feeling like shit, crap or garbage.

so yeah..yay

Yay!

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Posted (edited)

Came up from the throws of another dysphoric mood crash. Polished off an entire bag of popcorn (yum) with 2 glasses of wine (not my idea, my mom said wine would be better than taking Xanax to sleep (!?!) ) But... well, I do feel warm , fuzzy, and better.

Edited by Blahblah

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4 hours ago, Blahblah said:

my mom said wine would be better than taking Xanax to sleep

I seriously doubt this. Alcohol is "dirty" because it affects so many systems in the body while Xanax targets only GABA. If you need proof, alcohol can kill the liver whereas Xanax won't.

My leg hurts. I will request an NSAID pain reliever when I see the doctor. Also, sleepy but don't want to sleep.

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crappy and irritated about it. there were a few situations at work today that made me feel incompetent, even though they were all very minor incidents that i objectively handled reasonably well. OCPD-related narcissism and pride in my ability to perform makes me sensitive to feeling stupid, and it usually triggers thoughts of worthlessness, uselessness, and imposter syndrome. i know it's not rational, but i still feel awful, and i get mad when i feel badly for reasons that don't make logical sense.

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2 hours ago, Unstrung Harp said:

Intense pain. Not completely receptive to logic. Just pain.

Breathe, Harp. Breathe. This too shall pass. 

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2 hours ago, Unstrung Harp said:

Intense pain. Not completely receptive to logic. Just pain.

I'm really sorry you are feeling this pain, Harp. I wish I could do something. I hope you get a good night's sleep and feel better in the morning. 

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6 hours ago, Gearhead said:

Breathe, Harp. Breathe. This too shall pass. 

 

6 hours ago, jt07 said:

I'm really sorry you are feeling this pain, Harp. I wish I could do something. I hope you get a good night's sleep and feel better in the morning. 

Thanks, both of you. I went to bed and slept it off, and am feeling a little more measured this morning. It's been a difficult few months.

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I got 7 hours of sleep last night---which isn't my norm (9-10), but I'll take it as better than the 5-6 that I had been getting.  Maybe the increased lithium helped with it?  That wouldn't have been my first guess, but it's the only evening change I made.

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