Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

IndieVisible

How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Feeling better today. Anxious because I have so much housework still to do before they come into this 500 sq ft apt to replace windows and I have a half an apt to throw away just so they can do it. 

Still not motivated enough today...but I’m gonna at least try to get the mountain of dishes done. 

Did get Abby to the park by 8ish this morning though! Proud of myself...it was already 75° when I left at nine! 

Edited by DammitJanet
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sleepy, as usual. the imposter syndrome that was was plaguing me for the last few days has finally taken its leave, thank god.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Feeling beat down and disappointed. I went to the doctor today. Last week, one doctor at the hospital said it would be 4-6 weeks before my leg would be normal. A different doctor then said it would be 6-8 weeks. Now today, my outpatient doctor said it will be 8-12 weeks. 12 weeks. That's 3 months. I don't know how I'm going to survive that long. Life is hard.

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, jt07 said:

Feeling beat down and disappointed. I went to the doctor today. Last week, one doctor at the hospital said it would be 4-6 weeks before my leg would be normal. A different doctor then said it would be 6-8 weeks. Now today, my outpatient doctor said it will be 8-12 weeks. 12 weeks. That's 3 months. I don't know how I'm going to survive that long. Life is hard.

I'm sorry, jt. Is there anyone who can help you with stuff during your recovery?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Unstrung Harp said:

Feeling really, really down.

I hope you feel better tomorrow, Harp. Down is not nice.

1 hour ago, Unstrung Harp said:

I'm sorry, jt. Is there anyone who can help you with stuff during your recovery?

I've got neighbors and cousins who help out, but I don't like asking because I feel like a beggar and a burden. But I have no choice as in today when I had to go to the doctor's appointment. I can't drive with my broken leg.

I have been taxed to the limit of my strength today. I'm so weak and tired right now that I just want to go to sleep.

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So fucking tired. A bit of mood elevation would sure be handy. Just a little. At least the not tired part. Im fine with not seeing everything in vivid sharp colors, excessive masturbation or saying weird shit to people i know.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Almost always content and serene at this point of the day. 

Until the gd banging and drilling begins again. Wondering if a white noise machine would help AT all. 

So serene, but anxious. 

Edit: OMFG I spoke too soon! 10 minutes before 8am and the very LOUD drilling right beside my apartment has begun. Already?!

😢

Edited by DammitJanet

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Unstrung Harp said:

Discouraged, and feeling a little worthless.

i'm sorry, harp. that's one of the hardest feelings for me to bear. i hope it lifts soon.

my ankle is sore right now and i just picked a truly impressive amount of cat hair out of my coffee. with any luck this will be as bad as today gets.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

Almost always content and serene at this point of the day. 

Until the gd banging and drilling begins again. Wondering if a white noise machine would help AT all. 

So serene, but anxious. 

Edit: OMFG I spoke too soon! 10 minutes before 8am and the very LOUD drilling right beside my apartment has begun. Already?!

😢

A white noise machine is really no better than a box fan or any loud-ish fan. I bought a marpac dohm  a while back. they advertise it as pink noise but i think that's just rubbish. it sounds exactly like a fan as...well because it has a fan in it, only a bit more high pitched/shrill. lectrofan is also another one, only all digital. there are some free apps that also do the same thing or even youtube clips.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, argh said:

A white noise machine is really no better than a box fan or any loud-ish fan. I bought a marpac dohm  a while back. they advertise it as pink noise but i think that's just rubbish. it sounds exactly like a fan as...well because it has a fan in it, only a bit more high pitched/shrill. lectrofan is also another one, only all digital. there are some free apps that also do the same thing or even youtube clips.

 

Thanks for the info. I avoid fans cause they always somehow end up bugging my skin. The blowing when I’m trying to relax. But I might just try it cause even with the news blaring loudly I am still jumping out of my skin. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

Thanks for the info. I avoid fans cause they always somehow end up bugging my skin. The blowing when I’m trying to relax. But I might just try it cause even with the news blaring loudly I am still jumping out of my skin. 

the breeze is very minimal with the marpac. non-existant obviously if you go with the lectrofan.

Off-topic, but if you do find yourself using a computer late a night (after dark really), windows has a built in "night light" mode that changes the color temperature of your screen.

There's also this app

https://justgetflux.com/

That does it if you don't have windows 10 or have an older mac that doesn't have a night light feature.

you can even get dorky safety glasses that go over your regular glasses to help filter blue light. I used that for a while..actually did help sleep, but found it to be a bit annoying to wear them after sunset.

https://www.amazon.com/Uvex-S0360X-Ultra-spec-SCT-Orange-Anti-Fog/dp/B003OBZ64M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hi&qid=1294788538&sr=1-1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, argh said:

the breeze is very minimal with the marpac. non-existant obviously if you go with the lectrofan.

Off-topic, but if you do find yourself using a computer late a night (after dark really), windows has a built in "night light" mode that changes the color temperature of your screen.

There's also this app

https://justgetflux.com/

That does it if you don't have windows 10 or have an older mac that doesn't have a night light feature.

you can even get dorky safety glasses that go over your regular glasses to help filter blue light. I used that for a while..actually did help sleep, but found it to be a bit annoying to wear them after sunset.

https://www.amazon.com/Uvex-S0360X-Ultra-spec-SCT-Orange-Anti-Fog/dp/B003OBZ64M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hi&qid=1294788538&sr=1-1

Good to know about the lectrofan. Yes I have night mode on my iPad set at six. I was going to bed at nine but since I continue to wake up too early I’ve been going to bed by 8. Which is helping my mood. Another good thing, is the construction noise seems to have moved at least 10 feet away. Hope it stays there! Thanks for all the information!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Really, really down.

  • Sad 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Overworked Over-read with no breaks.....Eyes are are dry as desert. [edit: did not really accomplish much of anything, so I'm not sure the purpose of reading for hours as my brain won't retain it]

Edited by Blahblah
  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Physically, a mess. 

 

 

1 hour ago, Gearhead said:

Really, really down.

I’m very sorry to hear this. I really hope it passes soon for you. 💗

Edited by DammitJanet
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
57 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

I’m very sorry to hear this. I really hope it passes soon for you. 💗

Thanks, DJ.

You changed your avatar! Oh God! The world dissolves into chaos!

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Angeni Mai
      Lately I've been finding myself believing that there are kangaroos and camels in the backyard but later recognize them as deer. It makes no sense because neither kangaroo nor camel are native to my country. 

      Additionally, I've been having issues with thinking I'm speaking with people and then when I ask them what we were just talking about, they either say we haven't talked about anything for a while or that we were talking about something completely unrelated to what I thought the conversation was. 

      Any ideas of what the Hell might be going on here? I've never had something like this happen persistently up until a few months ago but now it's really becoming a concern. I start seeing a new psychiatrist on the 15th of March, and will bring all of this up, but I kind of wonder if anyone can give me a glimmer of insight of what might be happening here. 
    • By sscott
      Some of my voices tell me their names, and they refer to each other by those names. But the names they use are those of people I have known. I think they intentionally do this as part of an ongoing attempt to induce me to make mistakes and incorrectly think they are humans. But why would an hallucination(s) have motives?
      Furthermore, they actually acknowledge that they do have motives. Often, their stated motive is to cause me to have what they call “a hang-over”, which is a term they use that describes the problems that occur in the real world after misattributing their identity. For example, if I am psychotic or stressed, or if I am reality checking for some reason, I might react to who they ‘say’ they are by posting something incriminating, embarrassing or defamatory on Facebook. But having motives is not the only surprising and inexplicable trait my voices have. They also plan things, they have meetings, and one of them runs a training school in which I am the subject that the students (other voices) use to practice cruelty towards.
      But what really does me in, is an implied association between my voices and my feelings, and I do not mean the feelings I get as a result of hearing certain things, and I do not mean emotions. I mean things like twitching, very increased heart rate, ‘hot flushes’, cramps etc. My voices repeatedly ask “did you feel that?”, as though they are checking whether something they have done has worked. I also occasionally have absolutely terrible feelings that I struggle to be able to describe, and my voices will start ‘saying’ that the shit feelings I am having are a punishment for something that I have recently done.
      But to suggest that my feelings are somehow causally related to my voices is to suggest that my voices have agency, which is absurd. So I am really keen to hear from other people if they suspect that their voices impact their feelings (not moods or emotions) in a determinate, causal way. By this I mean that the voices do something that causes or changes feelings, that is, do your voices ever actually perpetrate changes in your feelings?
    • By Unstrung Harp
      I have changed the name of my blog. My apologies about any potential copyright infringement committed upon other CB bloggers with turtle-themed blogs. The shared turtleness is mere coincidence. I was thinking about this:

      turtles all the way down

      This summer's lesson from the trenches: intense feelings will not kill you (provided you are properly medicated. Please ask your doctor about what he or she can do for you). They will not kill you. You may wish they would. You may feel like they might. But they will not actually kill you. They may drive you to distraction, bring tears and anxiety, make you feel like you are going crazy. And in many ways they are preferable to the alternative. Feeling is part of the human condition. It's good to have a lesson in that now and again. It is good to know that after 27 years as an adult, and many years of therapy, I have internalized a healthy message, which is: feelings will not kill you. Not even intense ones, or ones that feel wrong, or ones that are out of sync with other feelings. That is both comforting and frustrating, but, strangely for me, more comforting than anything else at the moment, even though I feel sort of terrible at the moment. Sometimes you're just going to go through some shit. And maybe going through some shit can be a reminder that you are alive, and have agency in the world, and choices. Good lessons.

      I am capable of learning.

      And it's nice to know that after all of these years together, pdoc/tdoc and I still have things to talk about.

      Yesterday I walked two miles, fueled by a combination of sleep deprivation, adderall, anger, worry and anxiety. But I walked two miles. Forward progression.
×
×
  • Create New...