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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

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Posted (edited)

'I'm back from my appointment with the nutritionist.  I really like her.  But it's a lot of info.  Mostly because I need to go grocery shopping.  I hate grocery shopping.  I get delivery, but I can't get it in time. 

I wrote to my psychiatrist because I'm overly sedated in the morning.  She had me increase my dose (0.5 to 1mg) and it seems like it doesn't help.  I wasn't exactly slurring my speech, but I wasn't speaking clearly during the appointment.  I could feel it.  I'd like to try going without the morning and evening doses of ativan and just riding on the klonopin.  Or take ativan late afternoon before the klonopin wears off.  I don't know if this will fix things, but it seems like the most likely culprit.

Edited by dancesintherain

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19 minutes ago, Blahblah said:

@DammitJanet When did the sleep issue start? Is it a side effect of another med (like Viibryd or Lexapro?) That sucks that nothing seems to help.I go totally nuts without my sleep.

It’s actually been a progressively worsening issue for the past eight years and off and on before that. I’m sure the viibryd, Vyvanse, and lexapro aren’t helping...but they help immensely. 

Im also in menopause, with virtually no progesterone which I’ve just started putting the cream on again cause I’ve never used it long enough to have it steady in my blood stream. 

I see my hormone doc again in a couple weeks and I will ask to have that added in pill form. 

Something has to give. 

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Posted (edited)

nm just more pointless rambling 

Edited by DammitJanet

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I feel apprehensive about tomorrow. There is an event I must attend and I will be sitting upright for 3 to 4 hours. I'm actually terrified because I generally can't sit upright for longer then an hour or 2 without starting to feel sick and like I'll pass out if I don't lay down right away. I'll also need to be near a bathroom because I have bathroom attacks every day since having my gallbladder taken out over a year ago.

This is all really awful and I feel like a horrible person for feeling like this. It's an important event too. Why can't my body just cooperate and function normally for once?

Also, I keep getting hounded about my diabetes and checking my blood sugar. I'm so overwhelmed!! I can't take this!! 🤕

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Sleepy. Tired. Otherwise, fair.

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Apathetic, no motivation to do anything.. but also nauseous, nervous, vigilant, like on edge a bit. I hate adding new meds.

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Everybody hates me! Oh do they now. Who hates you? Name some names. Well nobody seems to hate me as such, I just feel like they should. Why should they hate you? I'm no good, I'm worthless, I'm shit. Nobody has ever called me such things except for me. I sometimes worry about not being able to be as outgoing and friendly as I'd like to be. That hardly makes me Hitler does it? You're sometimes a bit shy you monster!

Gawd! Fighting the same battles over and over again. But people should hate me because... I don't know. Because I'm not normal? Which would make them bigots, and bigots can go fuck themselves. I don't know what it is but if people knew the 'real me' they'd hate me. Whatever the fuck the 'real me' is. The 'real me' isn't a serial killer or anything like that, just someone who never feels like they're good enough

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On 5/10/2019 at 5:23 AM, Lapis.Lazuli said:

I feel apprehensive about tomorrow. There is an event I must attend and I will be sitting upright for 3 to 4 hours. I'm actually terrified because I generally can't sit upright for longer then an hour or 2 without starting to feel sick and like I'll pass out if I don't lay down right away.

Has that been diagnosed? I remember talking to someone who suffered from something like that, though I can't recall what it was called. They'd pass out if they stood upright for too long.

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Much better than earlier today.

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Better today. Cleaned entire apartment, probably only because I did not take increased doses (Lamictal & Effexor) and took 10mg Ritalin instead. Med changes been making me feel physically like crap, lethargic and all-day headaches. Will need to discuss with pdoc, can't live with that for weeks.

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Posted (edited)
On 5/11/2019 at 10:52 PM, jt07 said:

Much better than earlier today.

Edited by DammitJanet

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Posted (edited)
On 5/12/2019 at 5:30 AM, Blahblah said:

 

On 5/11/2019 at 2:28 PM, Fluent In Silence said:

 

Edited by DammitJanet

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I literally had a psychiatrist telling me three days ago to check myself into the hospital and adjust my meds, and I’m still not in the top five craziest people in my family.

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Anxious. I have to wake up at 515 tomorrow morning and that’s not anywhere near what I’m used to.  Im probably going to set two alarms

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Bizarre. I didn't sleep at all last night. I either sleep way too much or not at all. Tried to go to sleep early tonight and I keep waking up every hour on the hour.

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procrastinating terribly, all I want to do is lay around in bed. I don't know how to overcome this ridiculous resistance, without just forcing myself.

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Posted (edited)

Transferred to blog. Feeling extremely bad  

 

Edited by DammitJanet
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