Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org
IndieVisible

How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

Recommended Posts

Worried. I have a mole, which has all 5 of these warning signs.

 

Skin check booked for Monday.

 

detectingmelanoma_si.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am unbelievably, unmanageably tired after two days outside my house in which I worked a total of five or six hours, and today work consisted mostly of reading what I'd already written. When I was doing my coursework and teaching I worked twelve hours days and came home and took care of my kids. I wrote papers and met deadlines and planned classes. I don't know why I'm so useless and low energy now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Completely lost my shit today, and it's not the first time it's happened this week.  Over little stupid trivial things. It's like watching a train wreck I'm powerless to stop, something takes over and I can't stop screaming and crying.  My family takes it with a grain of salt because they've seen it before, but it's not fair i put them through this.  I'm an adult, I should be able to handle daily life without collapsing into hysterics.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Fair. Trouble sleeping again. I just went through a period of sleeping too much but now I can't sleep at all.

  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Homicidal towards people who get the flu and come back to work before they're 100% better.  I have a crap immune system and judging by the state of my sinuses and throat, I'll be in bed suffering before the end of the week.

  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Improving some. Doc gave zyprexa, but I’m too scared to take it, so I’ve just increased my Seroquel to 75...talk about groggy!

have a lot to get done today so I’m hoping loads of caffeine will help. 

So...calmer, a little more depressed instead of high...tired as hell. Looks like I have beady little iguana eyes. 

Though I am still buying, buying, buying, on credit. 

Edited by DammitJanet
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Annoyed. Just got called "an angry feminist with a chip on my shoulder" by a stranger for politely suggesting that those opposed to a certain medical precedure also concern themselves with economic justice for women and children and promoting all the things that prevent that procedure, and I am not here for it. Told him that the "angry feminist" thing is a stereotype propagated by insecure men, and some other things. But really, if you want to insult me you have to do better than "angry feminist with a chip on your shoulder." Yawn. Like I haven't heard that for thirty years. Also, I had a Pdoc appointment and then couldn't find parking at the train station at the later time, so I have committed to "working  from home" instead of the retreat today, and I feel some anxiety and guilt about that. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

valued, appreciated. i was chatting to my coworker about our boss's weird antics as of late and i expressed that his bad mood has been hard to be around for me. coworker said, "don't quit. please don't quit." i wasn't thinking about quitting, but it was really nice to hear that i belong here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pretty much the same....

I feel so useless and unmotivated to do anything......And then there's also the daily torture of OCD.

**SIGH**

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Unbelievably infuriated. 🤬

Edited by DammitJanet
  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Still stark raving homicidally pissed. Fuck Alabama, and fuck amazon.com. 

Groggy as fuck I’m not taking the Seroquel anymore I’d rather have my energy back!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, DammitJanet said:

Still stark raving homicidally pissed. Fuck Alabama, and fuck amazon.com. 

Groggy as fuck I’m not taking the Seroquel anymore I’d rather have my energy back!

I don't know about the Amazon reference, but fuck Alabama for sure.

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, Unstrung Harp said:

I don't know about the Amazon reference, but fuck Alabama for sure.

Amazon courier is too lazy to get up the elevator to deliver my ashwaganda as mikl and browri suggested I get, and lied and said they left it I. The mailroom and only USPS is allowed in that room so he left it somewhere and I never received it! So fuming as they just did the same type of thing with my order 3 weeks ago! 

Ok. Done. 

Oh! And fuck all the other states that are doing the same as Alabama!

hell at this point fuck ALL old white men!

Edited by DammitJanet

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, DammitJanet said:

Amazon courier is too lazy to get up the elevator to deliver my ashwaganda as mikl and browri suggested I get, and lied and said they left it I. The mailroom and only USPS is allowed in that room so he left it somewhere and I never received it! So fuming as they just did the same type of thing with my order 3 weeks ago! 

Ok. Done. 

Oh! And fuck all the other states that are doing the same as Alabama!

hell at this point fuck ALL old white en!

Had to look up ashwaganda. Had all sorts of interesting images in my head of what an ashwaganda could be. Amazon sucks, but not as much as Alabama. I'm sure my purple state is one Republican governor away from having essentially the same law. I fear for my daughter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Unstrung Harp said:

Had to look up ashwaganda. Had all sorts of interesting images in my head of what an ashwaganda could be. Amazon sucks, but not as much as Alabama. I'm sure my purple state is one Republican governor away from having essentially the same law. I fear for my daughter.

Totally unconstitutional. It better get to the SC and they better uphold the freakin law. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Angeni Mai
      Lately I've been finding myself believing that there are kangaroos and camels in the backyard but later recognize them as deer. It makes no sense because neither kangaroo nor camel are native to my country. 

      Additionally, I've been having issues with thinking I'm speaking with people and then when I ask them what we were just talking about, they either say we haven't talked about anything for a while or that we were talking about something completely unrelated to what I thought the conversation was. 

      Any ideas of what the Hell might be going on here? I've never had something like this happen persistently up until a few months ago but now it's really becoming a concern. I start seeing a new psychiatrist on the 15th of March, and will bring all of this up, but I kind of wonder if anyone can give me a glimmer of insight of what might be happening here. 
    • By sscott
      Some of my voices tell me their names, and they refer to each other by those names. But the names they use are those of people I have known. I think they intentionally do this as part of an ongoing attempt to induce me to make mistakes and incorrectly think they are humans. But why would an hallucination(s) have motives?
      Furthermore, they actually acknowledge that they do have motives. Often, their stated motive is to cause me to have what they call “a hang-over”, which is a term they use that describes the problems that occur in the real world after misattributing their identity. For example, if I am psychotic or stressed, or if I am reality checking for some reason, I might react to who they ‘say’ they are by posting something incriminating, embarrassing or defamatory on Facebook. But having motives is not the only surprising and inexplicable trait my voices have. They also plan things, they have meetings, and one of them runs a training school in which I am the subject that the students (other voices) use to practice cruelty towards.
      But what really does me in, is an implied association between my voices and my feelings, and I do not mean the feelings I get as a result of hearing certain things, and I do not mean emotions. I mean things like twitching, very increased heart rate, ‘hot flushes’, cramps etc. My voices repeatedly ask “did you feel that?”, as though they are checking whether something they have done has worked. I also occasionally have absolutely terrible feelings that I struggle to be able to describe, and my voices will start ‘saying’ that the shit feelings I am having are a punishment for something that I have recently done.
      But to suggest that my feelings are somehow causally related to my voices is to suggest that my voices have agency, which is absurd. So I am really keen to hear from other people if they suspect that their voices impact their feelings (not moods or emotions) in a determinate, causal way. By this I mean that the voices do something that causes or changes feelings, that is, do your voices ever actually perpetrate changes in your feelings?
    • By Unstrung Harp
      I have changed the name of my blog. My apologies about any potential copyright infringement committed upon other CB bloggers with turtle-themed blogs. The shared turtleness is mere coincidence. I was thinking about this:

      turtles all the way down

      This summer's lesson from the trenches: intense feelings will not kill you (provided you are properly medicated. Please ask your doctor about what he or she can do for you). They will not kill you. You may wish they would. You may feel like they might. But they will not actually kill you. They may drive you to distraction, bring tears and anxiety, make you feel like you are going crazy. And in many ways they are preferable to the alternative. Feeling is part of the human condition. It's good to have a lesson in that now and again. It is good to know that after 27 years as an adult, and many years of therapy, I have internalized a healthy message, which is: feelings will not kill you. Not even intense ones, or ones that feel wrong, or ones that are out of sync with other feelings. That is both comforting and frustrating, but, strangely for me, more comforting than anything else at the moment, even though I feel sort of terrible at the moment. Sometimes you're just going to go through some shit. And maybe going through some shit can be a reminder that you are alive, and have agency in the world, and choices. Good lessons.

      I am capable of learning.

      And it's nice to know that after all of these years together, pdoc/tdoc and I still have things to talk about.

      Yesterday I walked two miles, fueled by a combination of sleep deprivation, adderall, anger, worry and anxiety. But I walked two miles. Forward progression.
×
×
  • Create New...