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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

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Don’t know what triggered it, but endless loops lately of disgusting stuff I had to deal with wrt to late husband. I just went out and dug up a very long bed full of weeds, and attacking them with a sharp thin shovel and ripping them by the roots out of the ground was oddly cathartic. Wish it was that easy to rip these stupid memories out of my head. 

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Just one thing after another right now, Insurance yet again denying the dose of estrogen I NEED even after an appeal! Freaking LOUD banging, jackhammering already since 8...I’m gonna break. I know it. I’m scared. I do have an appointment with her vet this afternoon to hopefully get some diazepam since I’ve tried it with mine and it’s helping...just, the way things are going...watch him refuse the 7.5 mg that is working. The 5 barely did anything. 

Please cross whatever you feel comfortable with for us. 😢

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Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

Just one thing after another right now, Insurance yet again denying the dose of estrogen I NEED even after an appeal! Freaking LOUD banging, jackhammering already since 8...I’m gonna break. I know it. I’m scared. I do have an appointment with her vet this afternoon to hopefully get some diazepam since I’ve tried it with mine and it’s helping...just, the way things are going...watch him refuse the 7.5 mg that is working. The 5 barely did anything. 

Please cross whatever you feel comfortable with for us. 😢

Sorry the insurance company is being such a PITA...........How much does Abby weigh?....Diazepam for dogs is usually dosed by weight.

Edited by CrazyRedhead

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48 minutes ago, CrazyRedhead said:

Sorry the insurance company is being such a PITA...........How much does Abby weigh?....Diazepam for dogs is usually dosed by weight.

She’s only 25 lbs but 7.5 is the only dose making a dent in her. 

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1 hour ago, DammitJanet said:

She’s only 25 lbs but 7.5 is the only dose making a dent in her. 

You could try a "thundershirt"...It's a special garment for dogs that's highly effective in calming anxious dogs....Over 80% success rate.....Could be worth a try, IMO...

https://www.thundershirt.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI48eVgImy4gIVDYTICh00SAWwEAAYAiAAEgI7nPD_BwE

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Posted (edited)
39 minutes ago, Blahblah said:

useless.

I have seen cases in dogs where this shirt worked great....

Edited by CrazyRedhead

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Flare up of back injury. Terrible pain.

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anxious. phoned a counselling centre about seeing someone who can deal with ocd stuff. someone is supposed to phone me back, but i don't know when. i hate not having a time frame for stuff like this.

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Woke up severely depressed, crying for no reason and have a debilitating migraine. This is going to be a delightful day 🤯

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Depressed and severely anxious because I’m anticipating the banging and jackhammering and apartment shaking within the next 20 minutes. 

But! But but but but. I think I’ve figured out what has me feeling super down now instead of mixed/possibly manic what...a week and a half ago? Switching to klonopin! It has depressed me in the past...up to a very close call (including 8 day coma induced to stop a 6 hour grand mal seizure cause they shot me up with something to counteract any anti seizure meds that I od ‘d on! Idiots) almost ended up in a nursing home for the rest of my life! 

So anyway I think it’s back to Xanax...but she’s so gd leery of benzo I had to beg to go from 1mg Xanax to 1.5 after not building tolerance for over five years...I went on klonopin because I needed it to be longer acting. So much for that!

I want to try Xanax XR but I’ve read it doesn’t work nearly as well...

And I think the klonopin was helping me sleep a little longer, but have to take Seroquel anyway so there goes that! 

I’m sorry I know it’s supposed to be just a couple of words for feelings but I get stuck wanting to get it all out instead of posting all of these multiple issues separately in tons of different forums. I hope this is ok for now, just until things settle down a bit again. 

Thanks whether you read this or not. 

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frustrated but trying to get things done; not certain at success rate. green tea is helping.

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you know what wrecks your shit? having to wake up at 4-5 am to work, everyday.

Tired as shit

So much for the SRT portion of the adhoc IPSRT thing i'm doing.

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1 hour ago, argh said:

you know what wrecks your shit? having to wake up at 4-5 am to work, everyday.

Tired as shit

So much for the SRT portion of the adhoc IPSRT thing i'm doing.

Wish I could work for you. I never sleep past five. Most often earlier. Poor thing I hope you get plenty of rest this weekend. 

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@DammitJanet i tend to use this thread as a bit of a soliloquy space too, dj. don't feel bad about posting your thoughts. i'm glad you've got a lead on what's been putting you through hell lately. i also wanted to say that i hope the construction isn't too bad today. ongoing noises like that make me insanely irritable, so you and abby have my sympathy. :( 

@Blahblah i hope you have a better day tomorrow, bad brain and migraine is a lot to deal with.

@jt07 how's the leg doing?

and as for me, i feel pretty decent. i see a new tdoc today, so i'm... excited? that might be a strong word, but i'm looking forward to it, anyhow.

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

Depressed and severely anxious because I’m anticipating the banging and jackhammering and apartment shaking within the next 20 minutes. 

But! But but but but. I think I’ve figured out what has me feeling super down now instead of mixed/possibly manic what...a week and a half ago? Switching to klonopin! It has depressed me in the past...up to a very close call (including 8 day coma induced to stop a 6 hour grand mal seizure cause they shot me up with something to counteract any anti seizure meds that I od ‘d on! Idiots) almost ended up in a nursing home for the rest of my life! 

So anyway I think it’s back to Xanax...but she’s so gd leery of benzo I had to beg to go from 1mg Xanax to 1.5 after not building tolerance for over five years...I went on klonopin because I needed it to be longer acting. So much for that!

I want to try Xanax XR but I’ve read it doesn’t work nearly as well...

And I think the klonopin was helping me sleep a little longer, but have to take Seroquel anyway so there goes that! 

I’m sorry I know it’s supposed to be just a couple of words for feelings but I get stuck wanting to get it all out instead of posting all of these multiple issues separately in tons of different forums. I hope this is ok for now, just until things settle down a bit again. 

Thanks whether you read this or not. 

That sounds like a nightmare. When will the construction end? Too bad you don't have any heavy duty noise cancelling headphones. I also hope you can figure out some tweaks to a benzo to sleep youve been dealing with that a long time, god knows I'm often an emotional wreck even when I do sleep 9-10 hours. BTW I always read your posts, I just don't always feel I have the most helpful thing to say. Let's hope things get a bit better tomorrow. and thanks @echolocation I am so over my bad brain!

Edited by Blahblah

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5 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

Depressed and severely anxious because I’m anticipating the banging and jackhammering and apartment shaking within the next 20 minutes. 

But! But but but but. I think I’ve figured out what has me feeling super down now instead of mixed/possibly manic what...a week and a half ago? Switching to klonopin! It has depressed me in the past...up to a very close call (including 8 day coma induced to stop a 6 hour grand mal seizure cause they shot me up with something to counteract any anti seizure meds that I od ‘d on! Idiots) almost ended up in a nursing home for the rest of my life! 

So anyway I think it’s back to Xanax...but she’s so gd leery of benzo I had to beg to go from 1mg Xanax to 1.5 after not building tolerance for over five years...I went on klonopin because I needed it to be longer acting. So much for that!

I want to try Xanax XR but I’ve read it doesn’t work nearly as well...

And I think the klonopin was helping me sleep a little longer, but have to take Seroquel anyway so there goes that! 

I’m sorry I know it’s supposed to be just a couple of words for feelings but I get stuck wanting to get it all out instead of posting all of these multiple issues separately in tons of different forums. I hope this is ok for now, just until things settle down a bit again. 

Thanks whether you read this or not. 

Ear plugs perhaps? Or is it the vibration?

I've found the surefire EP series to be excellent. Comfortable enough to keep in for a while. I have weird ears, most earbuds hurt my ears in about 30 minutes. These are comfortable enough to wear for a while. They're made for shooting, so it should offer some relief while not being as uncomfortable as shooting ear muffs.

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1 hour ago, Blahblah said:

That sounds like a nightmare. When will the construction end? Too bad you don't have any heavy duty noise cancelling headphones. I also hope you can figure out some tweaks to a benzo to sleep youve been dealing with that a long time, god knows I'm often an emotional wreck even when I do sleep 9-10 hours. BTW I always read your posts, I just don't always feel I have the most helpful thing to say. Let's hope things get a bit better tomorrow. and thanks @echolocation I am so over my bad brain!

Construction is til mid July ! 😯 

got my Xanax back so hopefully my mood will start fixing itself. 

Long. Freaking. Day. 

37 minutes ago, argh said:

Ear plugs perhaps? Or is it the vibration?

I've found the surefire EP series to be excellent. Comfortable enough to keep in for a while. I have weird ears, most earbuds hurt my ears in about 30 minutes. These are comfortable enough to wear for a while. They're made for shooting, so it should offer some relief while not being as uncomfortable as shooting ear muffs.

Yeah earplugs aren’t doing much. Very LOUD banging literally banging the walls down and jackhammering shaking the entire apartment. At least I just got switched back to Xanax. Now I just have to find a way to solve my extreme headache I’ve not been able to alleviate. Even with 100 Tramadol. 

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5 hours ago, argh said:

you know what wrecks your shit? having to wake up at 4-5 am to work, everyday.

Tired as shit

So much for the SRT portion of the adhoc IPSRT thing i'm doing.

Mines 530, but I sympthize.

im mostly looking forward to my parents visit (a combination of anxiety and appreciation)

im mostly glad that we have a holiday weekend in the US (mostly just because it gives me something to do with myself).

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