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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

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5 minutes ago, Blahblah said:

Struggling...to do anything or leave the apartment. Gorgeous day out and I'm frozen inside ruminating about things, doing nothing, wasting the entire day. I guess all I can do is force myself to go outside...walk around aimlessly..but there isn't anything that I WANT to do, nothing that sounds enjoyable....Can anyone here relate to this?

Tdoc says motivation comes AFTER the action. I'm just so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Sitting inside alone avoiding everything is probably the worst thing I could do 😞 but I feel completely anhedonic.

I can certainly relate......I feel this way pretty much every day........I struggle to even take a shower or get dressed....Most days I stay in my pajamas all day..........You are not alone.....

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4 hours ago, CrazyRedhead said:

I can certainly relate......I feel this way pretty much every day........I struggle to even take a shower or get dressed....Most days I stay in my pajamas all day..........You are not alone.....

Thanks @CrazyRedhead Glad I'm not the only one, I blame myself, because I know it's avoiding behavior and I get into a cycle. I actually went outside all day and just walked around. Visited some shops & places I had never been before. Weather was sunny and spectacular, many people out. I do feel better (not enough energy to go out again tonight) but I'm glad I made it out.

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Im not entirely sure. Im not up, down or mixed. But nor do i feel normal. Weird. 

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Only been up for 3 hours, was doing fine and now I'm already feeling sort of tired. WTH.

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Posted (edited)

Frustrated, and a mess. But thanks to being switched to xanax er I’m not in constant panic mode today. 

There has to be a medication that I can do without that’s causing the insomnia. 

Even with switching to the er xanax, I still woke at three. Hence, the frustration. 

I mean I even got counseled at the pharmacy cause I just got my regular IR xanax a couple weeks ago... and it came up in their watch system. 

Also, the Xanax er is totally negating my vyvanse. 

Total fog head, no motivation, screwed up cognition. 

I’m starting to have fleeting thoughts about suicide because of the completely unsolvable sleep problem. 

Though for now, up til today, still at least getting Abby walked for minimum of 3 miles. Well, still got her walk in today, but as of today I cannot do anything else!

Sigh. 

Edited by DammitJanet
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5 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

Frustrated, and a mess. But thanks to being switched to xanax er I’m not in constant panic mode today. 

There has to be a medication that I can do without that’s causing the insomnia. 

Even with switching to the er xanax, I still woke at three. Hence, the frustration. 

I mean I even got counseled at the pharmacy cause I just got my regular IR xanax a couple weeks ago... and it came up in their watch system. 

Also, the Xanax er is totally negating my vyvanse. 

Total fog head, no motivation, screwed up cognition. 

I’m starting to have fleeting thoughts about suicide because of the completely unsolvable sleep problem. 

Though for now, up til today, still at least getting Abby walked for minimum of 3 miles. Well, still got her walk in today, but as of today I cannot do anything else!

Sigh. 

Did the attempt to lower the Lamotrigine work out? Or one adjustment at a time?

something non stimulant like provigil for your adhd? It’s generic, so your new upcoming health plan probably wont be a complete bag of dicks.

can you go lower on your trazodone? For sleep, this might be a case of less is more? The therapeutic dose for as an antidepressant is from 300 to 600mg. If your sig is correct that might be ironically pushing you up into insomnia vs helping with sleep.

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Sleep has been horrible. Need to get ahead of it. Haven’t lost my shit yet, all things considered..so yay mood stabilizer i guess. Its a bit boring, but mood instability is only exciting like walking down a dark alley in a bad neighborhood, wearing an expensive watch would be.

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2 minutes ago, argh said:

Did the attempt to lower the Lamotrigine work out? Or one adjustment at a time?

something non stimulant like provigil for your adhd? It’s generic, so your new upcoming health plan probably wont be a complete bag of dicks.

can you go lower on your trazodone? For sleep, this might be a case of less is more? The therapeutic dose for as an antidepressant is from 300 to 600mg. If your sig is correct that might be ironically pushing you up into insomnia vs helping with sleep.

Haven’t done a decrease in Lamictal yet, just wanting to get off of it. 

I sleep even worse on less Trazadone. Even 50 lower. 

Ill have to look into provigil and see what it does and how it works. My vyvanse works very very well, until I just switched to ER Xanax...and was already full-throttle insomniac prior to starting it. 

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3 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

Haven’t done a decrease in Lamictal yet, just wanting to get off of it. 

I sleep even worse on less Trazadone. Even 50 lower. 

Ill have to look into provigil and see what it does and how it works. My vyvanse works very very well, until I just switched to ER Xanax...and was already full-throttle insomniac prior to starting it. 

Yikes, seems like it won't let up. do you know exactly how the insomnia started? It didn't coincide with increasing one of your stimulating meds? I think Hyperthyroid can cause sleep problems, I dunno if you've had your thyroid checked...

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7 minutes ago, Blahblah said:

Yikes, seems like it won't let up. do you know exactly how the insomnia started? It didn't coincide with increasing one of your stimulating meds? I think Hyperthyroid can cause sleep problems, I dunno if you've had your thyroid checked...

This latest bad bout started while I was using krill oil and became manic. 😐

After the XR xanax last night and during today, I’m feeling pretty bad. I have leftover IR xanax...I’ll go back to that until it runs out. 

I f*cking hate life today. 

 

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

This latest bad bout started while I was using krill oil and became manic. 😐

After the XR xanax last night and during today, I’m feeling pretty bad. I have leftover IR xanax...I’ll go back to that until it runs out. 

I f*cking hate life today. 

 

 

12 minutes ago, Unstrung Harp said:

Kind of agitated but low and beating myself up.

Sorry to both of you guys feeling so bad. :(

 

Edited by Wonderful.Cheese
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Just now, Wonderful.Cheese said:

 

Sorry to both of you guys feeling so bad. :(

I read your blog but my mind is absolutely worthless right now. I hope you manage to have a closure appointment with your tdoc. Thanks Cheese 🧀 

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Just now, DammitJanet said:

I read your blog but my mind is absolutely worthless right now. I hope you manage to have a closure appointment with your tdoc. Thanks Cheese 🧀 

No worries DJ. I’m sorry things are so rough for you. I really hope they start getting better ASAP. Sending good thoughts your way. 

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50 minutes ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

 

Sorry to both of you guys feeling so bad. :(

 

Thanks, Cheese.

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Pretty on top of things today. Wish I could pinpoint why some days I feel somewhat normal/productive and then the next day I feel useless, tired and depressed. Maybe just a fluke. Took my stimulant an hour before eating, so I'm wondering if its that. Who the hell knows...

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Posted (edited)

Slept a full 7 hours with one wake up at 2 am and tried Bach’s Rescue Remedy and it seems to have worked cause I slept again for another couple of hours so yay. 

I’m still struggling with some sadness and lack of motivation big time. 

Feeling sore cause I walked too much, and extremely freaked from the ridiculously loud construction right behind my head.

But overall quite a bit better than yesterday. 

Edited by DammitJanet
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