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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

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Tired. I wake up at 7am no matter when I went to bed

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Posted (edited)

I can’t sleep. My nose is stuffy. 

Edited by KnickNak

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Nauseous, tired. Failed attempt to get out the door by 9:15am. Skipped gym class :-( Overly optimistic I'd pop up and make it there early.

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Posted (edited)

Sad. It’s a simple word, but it can mean soo many things. 

Edited by KnickNak

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I’m so much physical pain...I was already in chronic pain mode, but since being here, it’s doubled and 100 Tramadol is barely working! My middle back all the way up, including either the muscles or bones in the front of my neck?? Like, pressing on the esophageal tube?

The stress has tripled today, now realizing I cannot keep up looking like I belong in the Hilton. Always have to smile, have to dress up halfway nice just to potty Abby...so many strangers...such horrible, uncomfortable furniture...well, I sleep well enough on the mattress, most nights. I think that’s due to the glorious blackout shades. 

Then top it off with the national violence epidemic, and not being in my safe little tiny apartment. 

I need a comfortable chair. God. 

Someone keeps stealing the dog poopy bags outside, so I had to go buy y own. Gotta be one of my classless apartment dwellers that are here. 

And omg I’m suddenly getting very close to the top of the section eight list and I have no money to pay movers OR a deposit! And I need to move. Especially out of here. 

This should’ve been a blog entry. Sorry. 

  • Sad 1

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@DammitJanet, my best friend just spent the last month preparing to move, and did the actual move last week. I saw her today and she’s a mess. Everything hurts from all the bending and lifting and carrying and stacking...it’s no wonder your back is killing you. The strained, tensed muscles must be hard as rocks. Can you take a hot bath to relax them, and then try the Tramadol?

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11 hours ago, Gearhead said:

@DammitJanet, my best friend just spent the last month preparing to move, and did the actual move last week. I saw her today and she’s a mess. Everything hurts from all the bending and lifting and carrying and stacking...it’s no wonder your back is killing you. The strained, tensed muscles must be hard as rocks. Can you take a hot bath to relax them, and then try the Tramadol?

I actually didn’t have to do any big packing. Just had to gather stuff I’d need for the three months I’d be gone so I’m skeptical about that being it. I’m of course thinking I’ve got some debilitating autoimmune disorder. 😂 I kid. But I am wondering why on earth my actual neck area is so sore! Like, bruised feeling? Unfortunately, for the next three months I have zero tub...at the god damned Hilton! Now there’s also no way to bathe my poor stinky sweaty baby. They do have a pool though...would that help the same way a bath would?

 

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12 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

 They do have a pool though...would that help the same way a bath would?

You really need to soak in warm/hot water.......Do they have a hot tub available?

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3 minutes ago, CrazyRedhead said:

You really need to soak in warm/hot water.......Do they have a hot tub available?

I just pm’d you but no. It’s the god damned Hilton and no hot tub?!

  • Sad 1

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Got out this morning and mowed. I have 1/3 acre with front and back, and lots of sloping areas, so quite a workout, and it’s humid, so lots of sweat. It’s the physical workout I’ve been needing, and my mind feels clearer. I think I’m just going to take today off, and keep working outside while I’m in the mindset. 

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forgot my work keys AGAIN! i think i need to put sticky notes everywhere. why can't i get it together?

i see pdoc today. i hope it goes better than last time.

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Still achy. I paid attention to the bed last night and it actually has a spring popping out! I can feel it through my 2” foam mattress topper... In a Hilton? I’m gonna tell them that I’ve had to double my pain medication and see if they’ll switch it out for me...I mean 3 months like that? Sigh. 

The pool is always empty in the morning so that was extremely nice to stretch my muscles and relax after walking Abby at the park. 

  • Sad 1

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Had the olympian task of getting up at 6:50am today. I did it. But had to come home and sleep for 2 hours. Exhausted, groggy and can't be bothered to cook anything.

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Blurgh. Feel like I'm maybe getting the flu or something. Slept most of the day, nauseated, achy, feel a little feverish. Supposed to start IOP tomorrow.

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Conflicted.  I have a pdoc appointment on Tuesday and I just saw her last Friday.  We normally do two weeks at this point.  But she’s said I can cancel so long as I give 48 hours notice.

i really want to cancel, though I’m not sure it’s for the right reasons.  I’d have to dash from work, get there either barely in time or slightly late for a 540 appointment.  And then she runs late, so it’ll be another few hours before I leave and 1.5 hours to get home (it incorporates public transit).  I have a 9:15 appointment the next day with a dermatologist that’s not going to be easy to handle, so I’m not sure getting home at 930/10 before it is smart.

but the one thing I didn’t say in that rant is that I’m 100% sure that I don’t need it.

hence conflicted.

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