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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

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18 hours ago, Hume's doona said:

well...

 

I mail out 1st December

And buying a few things each pay is better for me :dunce:

I would never make that December 1 deadline, regardless of when I started. I've had a package to send a CB friend since June, for their birthday which was in January. You must have extraordinary powers of organization/motivation/and/or have your "mailing stuff" shit a lot more together than mine. I salute you, sir. Also, the houseboat ad sounds really cool.

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Mood -- pleasant. Anxiety -- almost full tilt, as has been the situation in the past few weeks. Many things to do in the next 48 hours, including keeping my shit together, which may be the hardest of all. 

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my circadian rhythms are much like this drum beat, a complex thing of beauty

 

 

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not too bad, but had to email our accountant at work, which is always unpleasant. i always have to defend my competency with her.

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Keeping it together, though anxiety impeded my ability to do much work today. Managed to do some other things though.

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Honestly, suicidal. I was treated poorly here at this shit hotel, and it was only getting worse, I complained to Hilton on twitter cause the mgr here is the highest mgr here, and now they’re all treating me like scum. HE treated me like a pos. I cannot be here another 1.5 months with this! I can’t deal with this. I don’t want to leave my room and I want to disappear. 

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fairly content. did electrical work at my sister's place (very simple stuff) and I enjoyed it so now I'm thinking of volunteering with an electrical company for a month to pick up some basic skills.

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3 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

Worst anxiety ever. Like, ever. 

I'm sorry 😞 I actually had a better day today...pretty nuts how my mood can be dysphoric/suicidal for like a day, and then I'm normal (well, my stable "normal")...I was outside a lot today, running errands, had to meet with someone..and had a couple positives happen for a change.

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1 hour ago, Blahblah said:

I'm sorry 😞 I actually had a better day today...pretty nuts how my mood can be dysphoric/suicidal for like a day, and then I'm normal (well, my stable "normal")...I was outside a lot today, running errands, had to meet with someone..and had a couple positives happen for a change.

I’m really glad you had a better day. 💜

Edited by DammitJanet

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Anxious. The apartment manager asked me when I’d be around today because she’s meeting everyone individually between the two hotels we’re all staying at for...who knows what? I have a suspicion that we may be getting told that we have to stay longer at the hotel longer than the initial October 31st that was given to us. I can’t think of what else it could be. 

1) if she’s simply giving us the dates we’re going back home, seems she’d just give us all a letter so we could plan accordingly. 

2) she just had a meeting with me, relocation specialist, general manager here at the hotel to address his mistreatment of me and the issue about the very uncomfortable mattress that I’ve been dealing with for 2 months while begging for a switch the entire time without any change. It seems if we were leaving as planned, she wouldn’t have fought so hard for a switch. I dunno. 

Had a biopsy done on an oozing nodule on my ear for about two months and I’m anxious about that too cause I’ve already been on 3 different antibiotics with no results... and it hurts just to put my phone on it and wakes me up when I end up sleeping on that side. 

More rambling. 

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6 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

Anxious. The apartment manager asked me when I’d be around today because she’s meeting everyone individually between the two hotels we’re all staying at for...who knows what? I have a suspicion that we may be getting told that we have to stay longer at the hotel longer than the initial October 31st that was given to us. I can’t think of what else it could be. 

1) if she’s simply giving us the dates we’re going back home, seems she’d just give us all a letter so we could plan accordingly. 

2) she just had a meeting with me, relocation specialist, general manager here at the hotel to address his mistreatment of me and the issue about the very uncomfortable mattress that I’ve been dealing with for 2 months while begging for a switch the entire time without any change. It seems if we were leaving as planned, she wouldn’t have fought so hard for a switch. I dunno. 

Had a biopsy done on an oozing nodule on my ear for about two months and I’m anxious about that too cause I’ve already been on 3 different antibiotics with no results... and it hurts just to put my phone on it and wakes me up when I end up sleeping on that side. 

More rambling. 

Good luck on the biopsy. And hey, sleep is always good so yay to the new mattress.

Trying out of my old bupropion 300mg xl pills. Probably won't make me lose my shit due to the lack of heat and light plus the 200mg instead of 150mg of lamotrigine. So far about meh though I'm a bit fidgety. The IR feels much better in general. Or so far.

 

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6 hours ago, CrazyRedhead said:

@DammitJanet, sounds like you have a lot going on.

I hope you don't have to stay at the hotel longer than planned.

I hope your biopsy turns out clean, too

Thank you 💜

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