Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

IndieVisible

How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

Recommended Posts

I have phone appt with new psychiatrist in about 20 minutes....The anxiety is overwhelming....I totally don't know what to expect from this pdoc....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, CrazyRedhead said:

I have phone appt with new psychiatrist in about 20 minutes....The anxiety is overwhelming....I totally don't know what to expect from this pdoc....

how did it go?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, echolocation said:

how did it go?

Pretty good.......He's said he's not going to change my sleep meds, because they are working....YAY..!!.......However, some others could be changed eventually, but that's okay......I was mainly concerned about keeping the sleeping meds (clonazepam and Trazodone).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, CrazyRedhead said:

Pretty good.......He's said he's not going to change my sleep meds, because they are working....YAY..!!.......However, some others could be changed eventually, but that's okay......I was mainly concerned about keeping the sleeping meds (clonazepam and Trazodone).

glad it worked out!

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Overwhelmed, sad, isolated and hopeless. The state of the world is a nightmare and winter is coming....

And fewer people seem to be posting here regularly these days :-(

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Feeling strangely fine. A peaceful morning. I’m sure stressful messages will come today though. Happened last night. But I’ll try my best to be ok when that happens. Ignore them. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/25/2020 at 12:59 PM, Blahblah said:

Overwhelmed, sad, isolated and hopeless. The state of the world is a nightmare and winter is coming....

And fewer people seem to be posting here regularly these days 😞

same today.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Gearhead said:

My head hurts so much.

I assume this is covid related and am so sorry you have had so much trouble.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Overstimulated maybe? Started uni lectures online this week. Going OK. Maybe I should kill myself? Wait what? Oh Brain! You ruin everything. It's quite a big commitment though, and believing that in a few years I'll have a Psychology degree and not be a complete fuck up takes some effort. I'm going to be successful, my life is going to finally work out and I'll be happy. Still easier to picture my lifeless corpse being washed out to sea. I don't really believe that my life can work out well, though I'm hoping to prove myself wrong. So I'm pretty up and down at the moment. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, dancesintherain said:

 

im really really anxious about a work assignment that I’m working on and hopefully finishing today.

I spent 10 straight hours today churning out a report that wasn't scheduled to be done this week, but the powers-that-be decided very late yesterday that it was suddenly urgent. I got it done, but I still feel slightly hysterical and nauseous. Wishing you the best on finishing your assignment!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Things are going OK, mostly. I was trying to explain to my counselor why this makes sad. The idea that things can actually work out means that I've wasted much of my life. You didn't need to be so fucking lonely for so fucking long. Oh I could've been happy all along if I'd just worn a smile on my face and stopped thinking that life is worthless and I should kill myself. Silly me. Can life be better? I hope so. Hugs and unicorns! But the more I think this the more the negative part of my brain kicks in. Happiness is for other people and not for the likes of you fuckface.

My degree course has started online. I'm worried about sounding like a fucking know-it-all but I also think I'm a fucking idiot. Did you know that B.H. Skinner's first name was Burrhus? What sort of fucking name is that? But that's not important. Learning about operant conditioning is important. But fucking Burrhus! I have questions. You'll never hear that name in Hollywood movies. "I love you Burrhus", "Save me Burrhus!". I'm not sure how to pronounce it. Buh - hus probably, but said quickly it's also the noise you make when you're going to vomit, which changes things. "I love you Burrhus!" Burrhus ends up getting Jackson Pollacked and wondering if he can forgive her. 

Love and vomit. I honestly don't set out to talk about such things. I just sort of meander over there and then wonder how the fuck I got here. Hurray for alcohol!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I sometimes like to pretend that I'm not mentally ill. "Nothing wrong with me chief!" Denial. It's not normal to ... erm ... well it's not normal to want to kill yourself so often and over the slightest thing. I'm not a dramatic person or anything. Should one kill one's self? Having a sense of humour I'd like to kill myself in a funny way. Dress up as Superman and leap from a tall building. But you can't fly and you might hurt someone on the way down. Sorry. Weird and depressing thoughts there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Angeni Mai
      Lately I've been finding myself believing that there are kangaroos and camels in the backyard but later recognize them as deer. It makes no sense because neither kangaroo nor camel are native to my country. 

      Additionally, I've been having issues with thinking I'm speaking with people and then when I ask them what we were just talking about, they either say we haven't talked about anything for a while or that we were talking about something completely unrelated to what I thought the conversation was. 

      Any ideas of what the Hell might be going on here? I've never had something like this happen persistently up until a few months ago but now it's really becoming a concern. I start seeing a new psychiatrist on the 15th of March, and will bring all of this up, but I kind of wonder if anyone can give me a glimmer of insight of what might be happening here. 
    • By sscott
      Some of my voices tell me their names, and they refer to each other by those names. But the names they use are those of people I have known. I think they intentionally do this as part of an ongoing attempt to induce me to make mistakes and incorrectly think they are humans. But why would an hallucination(s) have motives?
      Furthermore, they actually acknowledge that they do have motives. Often, their stated motive is to cause me to have what they call “a hang-over”, which is a term they use that describes the problems that occur in the real world after misattributing their identity. For example, if I am psychotic or stressed, or if I am reality checking for some reason, I might react to who they ‘say’ they are by posting something incriminating, embarrassing or defamatory on Facebook. But having motives is not the only surprising and inexplicable trait my voices have. They also plan things, they have meetings, and one of them runs a training school in which I am the subject that the students (other voices) use to practice cruelty towards.
      But what really does me in, is an implied association between my voices and my feelings, and I do not mean the feelings I get as a result of hearing certain things, and I do not mean emotions. I mean things like twitching, very increased heart rate, ‘hot flushes’, cramps etc. My voices repeatedly ask “did you feel that?”, as though they are checking whether something they have done has worked. I also occasionally have absolutely terrible feelings that I struggle to be able to describe, and my voices will start ‘saying’ that the shit feelings I am having are a punishment for something that I have recently done.
      But to suggest that my feelings are somehow causally related to my voices is to suggest that my voices have agency, which is absurd. So I am really keen to hear from other people if they suspect that their voices impact their feelings (not moods or emotions) in a determinate, causal way. By this I mean that the voices do something that causes or changes feelings, that is, do your voices ever actually perpetrate changes in your feelings?
    • By Unstrung Harp
      I have changed the name of my blog. My apologies about any potential copyright infringement committed upon other CB bloggers with turtle-themed blogs. The shared turtleness is mere coincidence. I was thinking about this:

      turtles all the way down

      This summer's lesson from the trenches: intense feelings will not kill you (provided you are properly medicated. Please ask your doctor about what he or she can do for you). They will not kill you. You may wish they would. You may feel like they might. But they will not actually kill you. They may drive you to distraction, bring tears and anxiety, make you feel like you are going crazy. And in many ways they are preferable to the alternative. Feeling is part of the human condition. It's good to have a lesson in that now and again. It is good to know that after 27 years as an adult, and many years of therapy, I have internalized a healthy message, which is: feelings will not kill you. Not even intense ones, or ones that feel wrong, or ones that are out of sync with other feelings. That is both comforting and frustrating, but, strangely for me, more comforting than anything else at the moment, even though I feel sort of terrible at the moment. Sometimes you're just going to go through some shit. And maybe going through some shit can be a reminder that you are alive, and have agency in the world, and choices. Good lessons.

      I am capable of learning.

      And it's nice to know that after all of these years together, pdoc/tdoc and I still have things to talk about.

      Yesterday I walked two miles, fueled by a combination of sleep deprivation, adderall, anger, worry and anxiety. But I walked two miles. Forward progression.
×
×
  • Create New...