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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?


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7 hours ago, Fluent In Silence said:

I wonder what the explanation of this is.

Let me challenge you: Take a moment to closely examine your own anus.

What? You're having some difficulty with that? Allow me to offer you a mirror. No? Still a bit distant and indistinct? Hard to see in that tightly-bent-over position?

I don't suppose it would be much easier if it were shifted more toward the front than the back, but of course, any lady could tell you precisely how difficult it is to take a good look at her own lady parts. Men can pull the thing out and examine it in detail. It even (not to make too elaborate a point of it) magnifies itself without the aid of a glass. Men have the benefit of the visual to teach them about their junk; they are at liberty to study it in detail in their alone time, and indeed they do. Women, on the other hand, are hampered by an experience that I can only imagine must be akin to trying to find something under the bedclothes in the dark.

To be sure, diagrams are available. My own sexual education came largely courtesy of the Time/Life Atlas of the Human Body. (The sum total of my father's birds-and-the-bees talk with me consisted of "Mutter-mutter-mutter-mutter Keep it in your pants." I had no idea what he was talking about.) But even the diagrams are of limited use - for men, the thing stands out, distinct from the principal bulk of the body. It has a characteristic, identifiable form. It can be readily measured, and don't we know it. For the ladies, the parameters are less distinct; there are folds within folds within folds, all folded up inside the mass of the body. One feels uncomfortably like a vivisectionist just trying to understand how it all fits together.

You mention the questionnaire in which women had difficulty naming the sundry parts of their genitalia. This is hardly surprising. Those part-names mostly cling to their Greek/Latin origins, and there aren't a lot of common synonyms for 'labia'. The synonyms for 'penis' and 'testicle' would fill pages. Still, if a certain number of women struggled with said test, can you imagine how a cohort of men would fare?

In short, girls have a harder time getting to know their parts because they can't take them out and look at them the way boys can, and when they do get a look, what they see is labeled in a foreign language. No wonder there's an air of mystery about it all - but really, oughtn't there be? I think there should be something mystical about the place where life begins.

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I think women receive a lot of strange messaging about their vaginas and "lady bits". Like I can't believe douching products still exist on store shelves and that people are buying them. The vagina (inside) is self-cleaning for the most part as long as you practice basic hygiene (at least that's what I've been taught). And some women grow up thinking they're supposed to be able to orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone and if they don't, something's wrong with them. Further, while men have the size issue to obsess over I suppose, many women worry that they're not neatly tucked in enough (inner labia that peek/hang out) or have too puffy outer labia or don't have the ideal vulva. Increasing numbers of women are getting plastic surgery done on their labia minora--it's called labiaplasty. I'm guilty of judging my own vulva harshly at times but so far not ready to go under the knife to trim my very sensitive bits.

And then there's the pubic hair thing. I realize some men trim or wax or do some kind of "man scaping" in their nether regions but I feel like it's more optional for a lot of them. I've never been quite sure if my partners would prefer I be as bald as a pre-pubescent or neatly trimmed in some way or full out bush. I think I know what I prefer for myself (even though I don't always maintain it that way) but their perceived (by me) expectations admittedly affect me to some degree and being a woman on the hairier side of the spectrum, it's a real issue. Plus, if I present neatly trimmed in one encounter, will they expect it going forward? 

@Cerberus is definitely on point about the mirror thing. The men I've known seem to have no problem pulling out and inspecting their own genitals. Personally, I'm not so much a fan of inspecting my many folds and such in an awkward position with mirror in hand. "I'm [not] ready for my close-up" you could say.

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2 hours ago, aquarian said:

I think women receive a lot of strange messaging about their vaginas and "lady bits". Like I can't believe douching products still exist on store shelves and that people are buying them. The vagina (inside) is self-cleaning for the most part as long as you practice basic hygiene (at least that's what I've been taught). And some women grow up thinking they're supposed to be able to orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone and if they don't, something's wrong with them. Further, while men have the size issue to obsess over I suppose, many women worry that they're not neatly tucked in enough (inner labia that peek/hang out) or have too puffy outer labia or don't have the ideal vulva. Increasing numbers of women are getting plastic surgery done on their labia minora--it's called labiaplasty. I'm guilty of judging my own vulva harshly at times but so far not ready to go under the knife to trim my very sensitive bits.

And then there's the pubic hair thing. I realize some men trim or wax or do some kind of "man scaping" in their nether regions but I feel like it's more optional for a lot of them. I've never been quite sure if my partners would prefer I be as bald as a pre-pubescent or neatly trimmed in some way or full out bush. I think I know what I prefer for myself (even though I don't always maintain it that way) but their perceived (by me) expectations admittedly affect me to some degree and being a woman on the hairier side of the spectrum, it's a real issue. Plus, if I present neatly trimmed in one encounter, will they expect it going forward? 

@Cerberus is definitely on point about the mirror thing. The men I've known seem to have no problem pulling out and inspecting their own genitals. Personally, I'm not so much a fan of inspecting my many folds and such in an awkward position with mirror in hand. "I'm [not] ready for my close-up" you could say.

Long inner labia that is a darker tone than regular body skin, neat but not bald is my preference 

 

Hope that helps 

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@CerberusGood points. The male genatalia is of course external, and easier to notice. I was actually thinking about how many synonyms there are for men's bit's and pieces in comparison to women's. So many words for the same things. And I suspect that this is more than just not being able to see it. I don't know if anyone read it but I once wrote a blog about the 'C' word. Point I was trying to make with that is that the 'C' word is considered the worst word in the English language not because it expresses hatred towards women, but because pretty much all swear words are swear words because of the cultural taboo about sex, and the fact that this is considered the worst word is probably due to attitudes towards female sexuality. So it's a good thing to say cunt. Reclaim the word! Sorry.

I did once see a quite strange video on The Guardian about this very subject of women and their genitals. It featured a woman confronting her mother, who was actually a gynaecologist. Her mother had told her absolutely nothing, but had just left textbooks lying around in the hope that she'd work it all out herself. And she broke down in tears talking to her mother because she'd never told her that she's supposed to wipe upwards. Even I know that. Her mother really could have made an effort to educate her. If the daughter of a gynaecologist can be so poorly informed then what hope has anyone else got?

@aquarian I've heard about labiaplasty and the anxiety some women feel about how their vulva looks. I honestly don't think that most men really care. In my case I think I'd just feel too grateful to offer any criticism. I know it's not all about pleasing men, but the way woman try to live up to some ideal of perfection, which doesn't really exist, seems pretty awful. I find vaginas quite beautiful. Not sounding at all creepy by saying that. No, no, no. I'm sounding really creepy aren't I? Aesthetically I mean. Yeah that makes me sound intellectual. But speaking as a colossal weirdo and creep I don't think innie/outie or your pubic hairstyle really matters.

I meant to say something nice there but I'm worried that I just committed a #metoo moment. As I often feel the need to say on here - my intentions were good but my words were probably shit.

 

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41 minutes ago, Fluent In Silence said:

And she broke down in tears talking to her mother because she'd never told her that she's supposed to wipe upwards. Even I know that. Her mother really could have made an effort to educate her. If the daughter of a gynaecologist can be so poorly informed then what hope has anyone else got?

I thought you're supposed to wipe front-to-back so as to avoid getting poop bacteria in the vagina and urethra which can cause irritation and possible UTIs??? What does wipe upwards mean?!?!

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44 minutes ago, Fluent In Silence said:

I've heard about labiaplasty and the anxiety some women feel about how their vulva looks. I honestly don't think that most men really care. In my case I think I'd just feel too grateful to offer any criticism. I know it's not all about pleasing men, but the way woman try to live up to some ideal of perfection, which doesn't really exist, seems pretty awful. I find vaginas quite beautiful. Not sounding at all creepy by saying that. No, no, no. I'm sounding really creepy aren't I? Aesthetically I mean. Yeah that makes me sound intellectual. But speaking as a colossal weirdo and creep I don't think innie/outie or your pubic hairstyle really matters.

I meant to say something nice there but I'm worried that I just committed a #metoo moment. As I often feel the need to say on here - my intentions were good but my words were probably shit.

Not to worry. You didn't creep me out. But I'm definitely not looking to poll people's personal preferences on such subjects. My rant was meant to be about douche still being on store shelves and then got sidetracked onto other things. Probably should have left talk of labia and pubic hair out of my post entirely since this isn't a sex site.

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57 minutes ago, Fluent In Silence said:

Point I was trying to make with that is that the 'C' word is considered the worst word in the English language not because it expresses hatred towards women, but because pretty much all swear words are swear words because of the cultural taboo about sex, and the fact that this is considered the worst word is probably due to attitudes towards female sexuality.

That clears up what that earler post was about. All that time I thought you were talking about Cummerbund.

Actually, the 'C' word in question isn't really an English word. It comes straight from Latin cunnis, which means precisely the same thing. Only the Romans didn't have a problem with saying it. In fact, they wrote it on the walls in public buildings (well, brothels) and nobody bothered to remove it. For instance, in the House of Jupiter and Ganymede in (ill-fated) Pompeii, a place believed to have been a gay brothel, intact markings on the walls have been found reading things like Livius me cun[n]is, Tertulle cun[n]is ('Livy is my cunt, Tertull's cunt').

5 hours ago, aquarian said:

Increasing numbers of women are getting plastic surgery done on their labia minora--it's called labiaplasty. I'm guilty of judging my own vulva harshly at times but so far not ready to go under the knife to trim my very sensitive bits.

~head spins~ This takes body dysphoria to a new level. Please tell me that there is any legitimate potential medical necessity for this procedure that would enable a doctor to call this anything other than genital mutilation. With male circumcision there remains a dubious argument made about medical need in some cases, and indeed, I was one such case. I don't think the mental health care establishment considers surgery the first-line treatment for a feeling of unease about one's labia. From what I read on the subject, the great majority of these are done simply because the women are unhappy with the appearance of their genitals, possibly responding to a perception from media that they should look a certain way, and for this reason it has come to be known as "The Barbie Surgery". Barbie indeed - barbaric, maybe.

I swear, humanity seems, to me, to becoming more irrational by the day, and I don't see any hope of it turning around before we're just knifing each other and gnawing on the bits. You know, every human civilization that has ever developed... has eventually collapsed. Every single one. Take the Maya in Central America. Flourishing empire at the time of European arrival. Collapsed like a deck of cards. And what did the Spaniards find them ritually doing? Cutting their genitals. Just saying.

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49 minutes ago, aquarian said:

I thought you're supposed to wipe front-to-back so as to avoid getting poop bacteria in the vagina and urethra which can cause irritation and possible UTIs??? What does wipe upwards mean?!?!

Upwards means what you said. Doesn't matter for men. We can smear it all over the place. I can wipe down, which is why we're superior 😜. I know you're intelligent to realise that that was a stupid joke, but I still feel the need to spell it out because I'm paranoid.

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3 hours ago, Fluent In Silence said:

@CerberusGood points. The male genatalia is of course external, and easier to notice. I was actually thinking about how many synonyms there are for men's bit's and pieces in comparison to women's. So many words for the same things. And I suspect that this is more than just not being able to see it. I don't know if anyone read it but I once wrote a blog about the 'C' word. Point I was trying to make with that is that the 'C' word is considered the worst word in the English language not because it expresses hatred towards women, but because pretty much all swear words are swear words because of the cultural taboo about sex, and the fact that this is considered the worst word is probably due to attitudes towards female sexuality. So it's a good thing to say cunt. Reclaim the word! Sorry.

I did once see a quite strange video on The Guardian about this very subject of women and their genitals. It featured a woman confronting her mother, who was actually a gynaecologist. Her mother had told her absolutely nothing, but had just left textbooks lying around in the hope that she'd work it all out herself. And she broke down in tears talking to her mother because she'd never told her that she's supposed to wipe upwards. Even I know that. Her mother really could have made an effort to educate her. If the daughter of a gynaecologist can be so poorly informed then what hope has anyone else got?

@aquarian I've heard about labiaplasty and the anxiety some women feel about how their vulva looks. I honestly don't think that most men really care. In my case I think I'd just feel too grateful to offer any criticism. I know it's not all about pleasing men, but the way woman try to live up to some ideal of perfection, which doesn't really exist, seems pretty awful. I find vaginas quite beautiful. Not sounding at all creepy by saying that. No, no, no. I'm sounding really creepy aren't I? Aesthetically I mean. Yeah that makes me sound intellectual. But speaking as a colossal weirdo and creep I don't think innie/outie or your pubic hairstyle really matters.

I meant to say something nice there but I'm worried that I just committed a #metoo moment. As I often feel the need to say on here - my intentions were good but my words were probably shit.

 

https://youtu.be/iwBR0qwHZBA

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4 hours ago, Cerberus said:

~head spins~ This takes body dysphoria to a new level. Please tell me that there is any legitimate potential medical necessity for this procedure that would enable a doctor to call this anything other than genital mutilation. With male circumcision there remains a dubious argument made about medical need in some cases, and indeed, I was one such case. I don't think the mental health care establishment considers surgery the first-line treatment for a feeling of unease about one's labia. From what I read on the subject, the great majority of these are done simply because the women are unhappy with the appearance of their genitals, possibly responding to a perception from media that they should look a certain way, and for this reason it has come to be known as "The Barbie Surgery". Barbie indeed - barbaric, maybe.

The only thing I can think of is that some women's labia minora can hang in a way that they chafe and become quite uncomfortable due to the seams in the crotch of jeans and/or tight pants or while riding horses for instance. Not sure if padded underwear or padded riding pants/shorts can help in that department when it comes to bike or horseback riding.

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31 minutes ago, DogMan said:

And apparently it is OK to criticise penis size, with no empirical evidence. But not comment on a lady's labia length or potential odour 

I'm not quite sure what this reply is addressing.

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Expecting air fryer delivery today 

 

I am still of the opinion that it is clever marketing of a miniature oven 

 

But mum likes to roast vegetables for her lunch. And can't always manage big oven 

 

 

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