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I got diagnosed with/have postpartum OCD.

Sorry to hear that. How do you feel?

Ashamed and tormented by my fucked up head giving me intrusive images of her getting hurt. Thankfully they're not of me hurting her, because I don't think I could handle that, but I do worry I'll fall while carrying her or that my mere presence in her life is detrimental. I don't think those are entirely unreasonable concerns, but having the graphic images are a new level of hell for me.

Fortunately I'm not a danger to her as a result. He said if I can keep myself safe they should resolve in two to three months, on average, and it usually doesn't develop into postpartum psychosis from having them. So that's positive. Ish.

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I had a paranoid episode at work today which, if somebody saw me... probably could have cost me my job.

i had bought a bluetooth earpiece today, threw out the pacKage. then i used it to find out the mic didn't work. i got very, very upset- you NEED the package to do. return. plus I had no ID on me

shortly after, I butt dialed my friend, but i thought he called me. i couldn't talk that moment and called him like 15min later. he didn't answer so I cAlled h back repeatedly probably close to 50 times. I walked into a room (which was empty) slammed the door and started tAlking to myself and cursing and saying violent things.

I was later allowed to do the return, they gVe me exception because i work here. So that was better

So My friend texts me "i was sleeping" and i called him saying that he called me first... he said he didn't to which i chcked to find out i butt dialed him. he told me i'm crazy and pretty much hung up

:( I guess getting my money back was good, but now i scared my friend

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I got diagnosed with/have postpartum OCD.

Sorry to hear that. How do you feel?

Ashamed and tormented by my fucked up head giving me intrusive images of her getting hurt. Thankfully they're not of me hurting her, because I don't think I could handle that, but I do worry I'll fall while carrying her or that my mere presence in her life is detrimental. I don't think those are entirely unreasonable concerns, but having the graphic images are a new level of hell for me.

Fortunately I'm not a danger to her as a result. He said if I can keep myself safe they should resolve in two to three months, on average, and it usually doesn't develop into postpartum psychosis from having them. So that's positive. Ish.

 

 

Sounds like your doctor is being understanding and supportive. I hope these next few months go by quickly for you.

 

Me too.  Hang in the melli.  You are a strong person!

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I got diagnosed with/have postpartum OCD.

Sorry to hear that. How do you feel?

Ashamed and tormented by my fucked up head giving me intrusive images of her getting hurt. Thankfully they're not of me hurting her, because I don't think I could handle that, but I do worry I'll fall while carrying her or that my mere presence in her life is detrimental. I don't think those are entirely unreasonable concerns, but having the graphic images are a new level of hell for me.

Fortunately I'm not a danger to her as a result. He said if I can keep myself safe they should resolve in two to three months, on average, and it usually doesn't develop into postpartum psychosis from having them. So that's positive. Ish.

 

Aw shit, melli I'm so sorry.  

 

 

 

I'm sick as a fucking dog, I puked on and off all morning.  My therapist did say there was a stomach bug going around and well apparently I got it.  Great. 

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Had a successful day at work today, though vaguely paranoid I came across as incredibly slow, physically and mentally. 

 

DId you stop your meds? Maybe this is why you feel paranoid. I remmeber you were contemplating stopping them. I hope you talked to your pdoc.

 

 

 

 

I got diagnosed with/have postpartum OCD.

Sorry to hear that. How do you feel?

Ashamed and tormented by my fucked up head giving me intrusive images of her getting hurt. Thankfully they're not of me hurting her, because I don't think I could handle that, but I do worry I'll fall while carrying her or that my mere presence in her life is detrimental. I don't think those are entirely unreasonable concerns, but having the graphic images are a new level of hell for me.

Fortunately I'm not a danger to her as a result. He said if I can keep myself safe they should resolve in two to three months, on average, and it usually doesn't develop into postpartum psychosis from having them. So that's positive. Ish.

 

 

And so so so so sorry melli! OCD is rough for sure. So I hope you can stay safe. You are a good mom! Just remember that! You will do a terrific job with raising her!

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I'm still super manic. I can't believe that I'm so nmanic even. I hope to start 3 knitting projects today. I need more yarn even though I have a room full of it. LOL

 

Almsot time to harass my care team's nurse again. Pdoc's nurse that is. She had better call me back today! Or else I will stop in to say "hello! wtf you people?" NO just kidding I will be nice.

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Around noon I started getting a headache and all of a sudden the pain became so damn intense with pounding with sharp pains.  I took 2 muscle relaxers (didn't know if it was tension headache or not), and fell asleep.  (I couldn't even hold my head up because of the pain).  Woke up and it was actually slightly worse.  I have an ice pack on my head right now, but that is just taking the edge off.  Idk what to do otherwise.  This is serious shit and it won't go away.  Last time it was this bad was when I ate chocolate (which I am allergic to and get migraines from when I eat it).  I looked back to what I ate today and nothing out of the ordinary.

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Around noon I started getting a headache and all of a sudden the pain became so damn intense with pounding with sharp pains. I took 2 muscle relaxers (didn't know if it was tension headache or not), and fell asleep. (I couldn't even hold my head up because of the pain). Woke up and it was actually slightly worse. I have an ice pack on my head right now, but that is just taking the edge off. Idk what to do otherwise. This is serious shit and it won't go away. Last time it was this bad was when I ate chocolate (which I am allergic to and get migraines from when I eat it). I looked back to what I ate today and nothing out of the ordinary.

That sounds horrible. Hope you feel better soon.

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Around noon I started getting a headache and all of a sudden the pain became so damn intense with pounding with sharp pains. I took 2 muscle relaxers (didn't know if it was tension headache or not), and fell asleep. (I couldn't even hold my head up because of the pain). Woke up and it was actually slightly worse. I have an ice pack on my head right now, but that is just taking the edge off. Idk what to do otherwise. This is serious shit and it won't go away. Last time it was this bad was when I ate chocolate (which I am allergic to and get migraines from when I eat it). I looked back to what I ate today and nothing out of the ordinary.

That sounds horrible. Hope you feel better soon.

 

 

Thank you :)  I am doing better now than I was when I posted.  Just residual pain left.

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