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Said good-bye to pdoc today.

He was pleased that I was moving on into a good program. He said I needed more than one person to work with.

Feel much better.

He just upped the adderral and that was that.

Highly disproved by the idea of me dying my hair pink and purple.

Claims it will affect my "natural beauty" LOL

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You insinuated. That is all. I'm done. Blocking!

Take a year off and get yourself stable, I've had to do that before. Breaking for a year with the intention of returning is better than flunking out. You can fix it with the school now so you can come

Oh, it's officially been over a year since my last hospitalization for psychiatric reasons and my last trip to the psychiatric emergency room. Finally!

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5 hours ago, iaawal said:

I feel like I'm making up my MI and that my docs know that but they're just letting me play along while saying that I'm a lying manipulative person.

Nooooo my friend you aren't... its perhaps a part of a delusion for you? I have seen your posts on here over a couple of years, I would suggest the evidence is the exact opposite... and anyway, what Dr. is going to put time and resources in to looking after you if the secretly think you are lying? No.... xx

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6 hours ago, iaawal said:

I feel like I'm making up my MI and that my docs know that but they're just letting me play along while saying that I'm a lying manipulative person.

I feel like that sometimes, and I know others who do too. I think maybe it's part of the MI to question your diagnosis like that. It took a doozy of an episode to convince me that the BP diagnosis was accurate, and I still doubt it sometimes. And I don't think your docs would 'play along' like that.

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10 hours ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

Everything is weird in my life and mind right now. I don't know how to make sense of anything anymore. I don't know what to do. 

I hope things improve for you. 

8 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Paged pdoc tonight around 7:30 PM to give him some information that without it, it will be very confusing.  Never called back.  Fuck.

I hate when that happens. You'd think a simple callback would be a common courtesy.

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Thank you Bellatrix ... I agree.  A call-back should be common courtesy.

Later on last night though he responded to an email, so I think that was his 'call back' ... I'm not sure though.  At least I think I made sense of it all.  It is so frustrating!

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Also wanted to mention, yesterday was the 5th day of being on 2 naltrexone a day.  And what happens?  Obsessive thoughts about food.  IT was consuming me, and necause I kept thinking about it I ate so much I was extremely stuffed.  And I still wanted to eat more.  So I went back to 3 naltrexone a day (slipped an extra in there yesterday so I wouldn't wake up with the thoughts of food whirling around my head.

This morning I feel much better, still full, but no obsessive thoughts about food.  Yesterday it was a blast from the past.

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33 minutes ago, Bellatrix said:

Don't let him put you on 2/day. :(

I know ... I agree, and I even called the insurance company and started the legwork to get the PA, making it so all he has to do is fill in the question/s, sign it, than fax it back.  Idk what he did the other day when he said it was sent in, but it never even made it into the insurance company's network.  I emailed pdoc about how I did try the 2/d and what the results of that were.  I know he got that email too.  He said he'd try for 3/day, but if it comes down to 2/day we'll have to work with it.  What???  I will fight until it goes through.  And if the PA is denied, he will most likely appeal it.  He's done that before and hope he will do it again if necessary.

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4 hours ago, dazed and confused said:

Microchips in me. Can't stop thinking about them. Thoughts all over the place. Feels fragmented.

I had these thoughts for years.  Thing for me was is I had just had surgery after the voices had started, and I was "told" that the DR implanted chips in me so they could read my mind, would know my vital signs, etc.  ...  and that the DR was in on it too.  So that is why I was so paranoid about the microchips.  Idk how i stopped believing in them.  Maybe it was a gradual thing after I started meds, and the meds helped the thoughts leave.

I hope the thoughts leave you soon.

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36 minutes ago, melissaw72 said:

I had these thoughts for years.  Thing for me was is I had just had surgery after the voices had started, and I was "told" that the DR implanted chips in me so they could read my mind, would know my vital signs, etc.  ...  and that the DR was in on it too.  So that is why I was so paranoid about the microchips.  Idk how i stopped believing in them.  Maybe it was a gradual thing after I started meds, and the meds helped the thoughts leave.

I hope the thoughts leave you soon.

Thanks. It's doing my head in. 

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1 hour ago, iaawal said:

I feel the same chickenlips. 

I slept a good amount last night. I woke up today feeling normal. I was starting to shake. 
Doing eyeliner while shaking is really hard. Really really hard. 

Try shaving your neck with a super sharp razor **grin** ahhh my crazy friend.... what a pair we are! lol :goofy:

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19 hours ago, Bellatrix said:

So my SSI hearing has been rescheduled from tomorrow to four months from now. I'm actually kind of relieved about that.

Good news then I guess xx

So yeah... feeling a bit angry Edna this morning, just cause I slept like crap... I'm sure the Amisulpride is activating me too much... grrr and my pdoc never called yesterday with a med solution.... so.... I am going for an extra loooooong walk today and will try to be more physically active ad hopefully that will help me to sleep tonight.... I hate the feeling of "not enough sleep".... I do, I truly do... x

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