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Anyone on the schizophrenia spectrum want to share?

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12 minutes ago, Bellatrix said:

Yay, @heilmania, That is great news. :)

Thank you! I hope the second interview goes smoothly- we haven't even scheduled it yet, and I'm already nervous. 

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30 minutes ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

Good luck with the interview @heilmania!! I think you will do just fabulously!!! Very good news!

Thanks, cheese! I already have my outfit picked out and everything. #fashionnerd

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Well, somebody said something kind to me, so I wanted to share. I told my friend I sort of feel like I'm tricking everybody by seeming so okay and competent when I actually feel really damaged. She said I'm one of the strongest, most resilient people she knows despite going through "serious shit." It made me feel better, and it's probably true of many people on the forum, as well. :)

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Today is my second-to-last day of work at my current position.

Aaaaaaand they had a lunch for me. My (ex)boss who fired me crashed it and turned it into a staff meeting.

There was cake.

Fucking bitch.

Edited by heilmania

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7 hours ago, Anna Least said:

Well, somebody said something kind to me, so I wanted to share. I told my friend I sort of feel like I'm tricking everybody by seeming so okay and competent when I actually feel really damaged. She said I'm one of the strongest, most resilient people she knows despite going through "serious shit." It made me feel better, and it's probably true of many people on the forum, as well. :)

That was very kind of your friend! Sounds like a great friend! Very cool!

40 minutes ago, heilmania said:

Today is my second-to-last day of work at my current position.

Aaaaaaand they had a lunch for me. My (ex)boss who fired me crashed it and turned it into a staff meeting.

There was cake.

Fucking bitch.

Fucking bitch is right. Ugh. I'm so sorry she ruined your lunch and cake. How bitchy to turn it into a staff meeting. Grrr!!!

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2 minutes ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

Fucking bitch is right. Ugh. I'm so sorry she ruined your lunch and cake. How bitchy to turn it into a staff meeting. Grrr!!!

 

Thanks, Cheese. I usually don't call people names, but this is insane.

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Had a really good pdoc appt today.  About what we were talking about ... I was getting really upset about it, and was crying a lot.  He kept me there an extra 15 minutes trying to calm me down.  He did calm me down, but it was a really productive appt.  I was processing something that happened to me in 2003, that I have never had a chance to talk about until now.

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4 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Had a really good pdoc appt today.  About what we were talking about ... I was getting really upset about it, and was crying a lot.  He kept me there an extra 15 minutes trying to calm me down.  He did calm me down, but it was a really productive appt.  I was processing something that happened to me in 2003, that I have never had a chance to talk about until now.

That is the mark of a good pdoc!

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5 hours ago, Made of Glass said:

That is the mark of a good pdoc!

You're right!  Thank you!

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I called my landlord about the people who live above me and all the noise they have been making, and asked if it was reasonable to ask if they be quiet no later than 8 PM.  So my landlord called their landlord, their landlord had to have called them, because last night they came home initially quiet, then got loud (mainly their kid though with running around and jumping (or whatever the hell she does), and at almost exactly 8 PM were quiet.  So it was peaceful here after 8 PM for once.  :D

 

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I have an appointment with a new psychologist in a few hours. I slept most of today. :( I wonder what she'll be like. Nervous. 

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47 minutes ago, heilmania said:

I have an appointment with a new psychologist in a few hours. I slept most of today. :( I wonder what she'll be like. Nervous. 

I hope it goes well and that you like her!  It is always hard starting out with someone new.  Wish you good luck!

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4 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I hope it goes well and that you like her!  It is always hard starting out with someone new.  Wish you good luck!

Thanks, Melissa. I do like her. Lots of "tell me about your childhood" this session, but we should get past that kind of stuff in a couple weeks, she said. 

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I have to call my landlord again because the people upstairs don't know how to tell time.  I'm going to ask for their phone number so my landlord isn't the middleman in all of this.

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I was on hold for 59 minutes with the Food Stamp office.  I sent the re-certification papers back to them certified by 8/29 (that is when they were received).  It said on the papers that if you got them in by 9/7/16 they would be processed faster.  Well they received them on Aug 29th.   But when I called today they hadn't processed them yet.  Like WTF?  I got it to them 3 weeks ago, and it was supposed to be done early because I got it into them by the 7th.  Anyway.

So the lady I was talking to just did the re-certification over the phone and it was approved.  Took about 25 minutes (after I had been on hold) to fill out the application, but at least now I know I'm set for at least another year.  And believe it or not I wasn't stressed out, anxious or anything while waiting on hold.  I was surprised about that.

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I have been completely agitated and restless like I have never been before, and I don't know what to do with myself.  The agitation and restlessness started Saturday night, and really hasn't gone completely away.  I hate feeling like this.

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Has anyone found that since their illness really took hold, they have a much lower tolerance for things like high volume music? I mean, maybe it's just a thing that happens with age, but I used to be really into listening to all sorts of music and now I can barely tolerate it at all, even on low volume.

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1 hour ago, Zelling said:

Has anyone found that since their illness really took hold, they have a much lower tolerance for things like high volume music? I mean, maybe it's just a thing that happens with age, but I used to be really into listening to all sorts of music and now I can barely tolerate it at all, even on low volume.

To answer your question, yes my MI has effected how I listen to music.

At first, when I was delusional and having hallucinations, I had a very high tolerance to music.  The louder the better, and the best was when I would wear headphones with the loud music. 

However, when I went back on meds, that all changed.  If the music was loud it made everything worse.  It would even elicit hallucinations, even after not having them for awhile; the hallucinations would come out of nowhere.  So I can only tolerate music if it isn't too loud.

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