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6 minutes ago, Zelling said:

Clearly I need to be medicated by an antipsychotic, but the seroquel is so completely sedating, so zombifying I haven't been taking it as I should. Now, I'm not sure if I have any other choice but to just deal with those side effects. I worry that the sedation effects might just make me feel more depressed and also helpless, though.

Have you told your pdoc about all of this?  Taking meds non-compliantly is not a good idea.  Your pdoc might have other suggestions of med/s that might not give you those side effects.

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Yeah. Hopefully I have finally learnt my lesson this time. I guess I had this mental block because my family is so vehemently anti medication, I figured I would do my best without it.

I have yet to see my pdoc. I have rung repeatedly trying to get a cancellation, but the best they can give me is 14 December. I have asked a GP to be possibly referred elsewhere, but they were reluctant as this pdoc has all my history/notes/experience.

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I have been using insulin since I got diabetes, and because of the chemo, I was subject to since December last year.  Just dealing with the chemo was insane.  Poking myself three times a day and taking extra chemo meds, and psych meds.  At one time, I was taking 13 pills then the three shots.  I'm glad it's over.  Cancer does indeed suck.

I talked to my gdoc, and he is hesitant to changing anything.  I need to lose weight and get on my stationary bike.  I will be lifting weights, and such.  Hopefully, I can lose a little bit.  The heaviest weights we have are 15 pounds.  There are a bunch of home variations of the exercises.  So I will be using those for a while.  I can only lift 5 pounds for now.  I am feeble right now.

I just wanted to let you know what was up Melissa!

Edited by whatsizbucket
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44 minutes ago, whatsizbucket said:

I have been using insulin since I got diabetes, and because of the chemo, I was subject to since December last year.  Just dealing with the chemo was insane.  Poking myself three times a day and taking extra chemo meds, and psych meds.  At one time, I was taking 13 pills then the three shots.  I'm glad it's over.  Cancer does indeed suck.

I talked to my gdoc, and he is hesitant to changing anything.  I need to lose weight and get on my stationary bike.  I will be lifting weights, and such.  Hopefully, I can lose a little bit.  The heaviest weights we have are 15 pounds.  There are a bunch of home variations of the exercises.  So I will be using those for a while.  I can only lift 5 pounds for now.  I am feeble right now.

I just wanted to let you know what was up Melissa!

Thank you :)

I'm sorry to hear about having cancer.  That really does suck in a big way to be taking all the pills and the 3 shots a day.  I hope you gain some strength back ... you probably already know this, but take it slowly with the weights because doing too much at a time or using a higher pound # than you can, you might hurt yourself.  These are my opinions though. 

Thanks again for the update!

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I've had an excellent idea - divide my life into 3 hour blocks. Just for the next few weeks while things are especially tough, to simply just confine my brain to what's going to happen in the next 3 hours and not think about anything else. It's great for stress relief.

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9 hours ago, Zelling said:

I've had an excellent idea - divide my life into 3 hour blocks. Just for the next few weeks while things are especially tough, to simply just confine my brain to what's going to happen in the next 3 hours and not think about anything else. It's great for stress relief.

I'm glad you found a way to relieve stress ... I hope it works out for you in the next few weeks!

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A day and a half down, 5 and a half to go... Not being allowed to talk is a stressful and strange experience so far. But according to my doctor, women's vocal cords vibrate over 500 times a second while talking, so I guess it's necessary. Ugh. Please heal up, vocal cord ulcer!

IMG_3752.PNG

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I fear that people are taking pictures of my license plate and will say that I did something to them.
Last night I was having bad visuals...rats...people surrounding me giving me the look of death.

I haven't told anyone cause I'm afraid they won't let me drive.

And I keep thinking they're going to fire me from work even though I do the stuff they ask. Then I ask them over and over if it is right.

Things need to be right. They have to be right.

TW

Now in a few I'm going out for drinking. Even though I take 13 pills/day it won't stop me.

Am I just slowly dying?

Idk. Maybe. Some of me is still in tact.

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On 11/4/2016 at 10:49 AM, melissaw72 said:

Thank you :)

I'm sorry to hear about having cancer.  That really does suck in a big way to be taking all the pills and the 3 shots a day.  I hope you gain some strength back ... you probably already know this, but take it slowly with the weights because doing too much at a time or using a higher pound # than you can, you might hurt yourself.  These are my opinions though. 

Thanks again for the update!

 

Cancer does indeed suck.  Now that I've been in remission since August, I don't know wha6t to do with all my time.  I spend alot of money, money on a credit card, but I have the ability to pay it off.   I will be starting with my mom's 2 1/2 pound dumbells.

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3 hours ago, heilmania said:

A day and a half down, 5 and a half to go... Not being allowed to talk is a stressful and strange experience so far. But according to my doctor, women's vocal cords vibrate over 500 times a second while talking, so I guess it's necessary. Ugh. Please heal up, vocal cord ulcer!

IMG_3752.PNG

Oh, that sucks!  I'm sorry about the ulcer.  Not talking for a week would be extremely hard for me too!  Have tried manuka honey?  It is a medicinal honey that can help speed up healing (YMMV).  If you google it, I'm sure you will find more info:

http://healthywithhoney.com/manuka-honey-the-best-to-treat-wounds-burns-skin-infections/

 

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58 minutes ago, whatsizbucket said:

Cancer does indeed suck.  Now that I've been in remission since August, I don't know wha6t to do with all my time.  I spend alot of money, money on a credit card, but I have the ability to pay it off.   I will be starting with my mom's 2 1/2 pound dumbells.

Do you have the physical strength to go for a short walk outside or something like that?  Have you worked on different puzzle books?  I have found that working on a word-find book makes time fly by.  And it usually relaxes me.

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37 minutes ago, melissaw72 said:

Oh, that sucks!  I'm sorry about the ulcer.  Not talking for a week would be extremely hard for me too!  Have tried manuka honey?  It is a medicinal honey that can help speed up healing (YMMV).  If you google it, I'm sure you will find more info:

http://healthywithhoney.com/manuka-honey-the-best-to-treat-wounds-burns-skin-infections/

 

I haven't tried that. I will try to find it. Thanks!!! :)

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7 minutes ago, heilmania said:

I haven't tried that. I will try to find it. Thanks!!! :)

The only way to get the good kind I know about is to buy it on-line ... Wedderspoon's kind.  Comes directly from New Zealand.  Is on the expensive side, but lasts a very long time. 

https://smile.amazon.com/Wedderspoon-Manuka-Honey-KFactor-500g/dp/B000VK1DC8/ref=sxr_rr_xsim1_a_it?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=2286650982&pf_rd_r=HNFQ7EV4S99DZ5ZBPK3Z&pd_rd_wg=ow6Lr&pf_rd_s=desktop-rhs-carousels&pf_rd_t=301&pd_rd_w=2Gt0l&pf_rd_i=manuka%2Bhoney&pd_rd_r=CS699XG7J48P0VV917R0&ie=UTF8&qid=1478401045&sr=1&th=1

The "K factor" ... the higher it is, the better.  I can't find anything more than 16 though.  They also sell smaller jars:

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AHE2QBK/ref=pd_bxgy_325_3?ie=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B00AHE2QBK&pd_rd_r=5RNYHS7B9QZZ5TBZY52A&pd_rd_w=hA7Tj&pd_rd_wg=EfiMj&refRID=5RNYHS7B9QZZ5TBZY52A&th=1

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WOW.  For the first time since I can remember, I choked on a pill (provigil) when swallowing it.  I had put them (4 pills and 2 vitamins) in my mouth, forced the water down as usual so the pills would go down ... nothing new ... but when I felt like one was stuck, I just got more water in there as usual for it to go down. 

However ... this time the 2nd burst of water didn't get it to down, the pill was stuck horizontally stuck in my esophagus ... I barely made it to the sink before I threw up water and was coughing like crazy and it was making me gag.  But it wouldn't come up or go down.  And I couldn't inhale a breath of air either because the way the pill was it wasn't letting me.

Then I tried more water but threw that up too.  So I continued coughing hard, and when I tried some water again, the provigil started to partially go down, but was still stuck in my throat. 

Anyway, after throwing up water a few times, the pill finally started going down, and eventually all the way down ... what happened was that the pill was stuck horizontally in my esophagus and it was big and just thick enough that it could not go vertical on its own.  Eventually it did, but it was scary for a few minutes.

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5 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

WOW.  For the first time since I can remember, I choked on a pill (provigil) when swallowing it.  I had put them (4 pills and 2 vitamins) in my mouth, forced the water down as usual so the pills would go down ... nothing new ... but when I felt like one was stuck, I just got more water in there as usual for it to go down. 

However ... this time the 2nd burst of water didn't get it to down, the pill was stuck horizontally stuck in my esophagus ... I barely made it to the sink before I threw up water and was coughing like crazy and it was making me gag.  But it wouldn't come up or go down.  And I couldn't inhale a breath of air either because the way the pill was it wasn't letting me.

Then I tried more water but threw that up too.  So I continued coughing hard, and when I tried some water again, the provigil started to partially go down, but was still stuck in my throat. 

Anyway, after throwing up water a few times, the pill finally started going down, and eventually all the way down ... what happened was that the pill was stuck horizontally in my esophagus and it was big and just thick enough that it could not go vertical on its own.  Eventually it did, but it was scary for a few minutes.

Omg that's so scary. I hate that. I've choked a few times. One time, I threw up in the wastebasket next to my desk in front of like 4 people. Ugh. I'm so glad you're alright.

You CAN do the Heimlich maneuver on yourself, btw. You kind of throw your weight onto the back of a chair or something while targeting just below the ribs and pushing up. CPR class. Hopefully you won't need to, but it's good to know if you're alone. 

2 hours ago, Bixo said:

''Why don't you try to kill yourself?''

 

Ehm... no....'

Definitely ehm no! I like you! You stay here. 

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13 minutes ago, heilmania said:

Omg that's so scary. I hate that. I've choked a few times. One time, I threw up in the wastebasket next to my desk in front of like 4 people. Ugh. I'm so glad you're alright.

You CAN do the Heimlich maneuver on yourself, btw. You kind of throw your weight onto the back of a chair or something while targeting just below the ribs and pushing up. CPR class. Hopefully you won't need to, but it's good to know if you're alone.

Thanks, I am glad I'm alright too.  I learned about the Heimlich in a CPR class awhile ago also.  Had not thought of it this morning though.  I just wanted it out of there.  Thanks for the reminder. 

The pill was lodged in horizontally though (with the powder crap on it) ... do you think the Heimlich maneuver would of worked?  I hope i don't need to ever do this either.

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