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Anyone on the schizophrenia spectrum want to share?

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So I'm still dealing with the hypomania symptoms. They've quieted a bit since I got my period yesterday, as that makes me REALLY fatigued and crampy. So, I've been irritable. I yelled at my husband over practically nothing yesterday. Ugh. I feel like a jerk.

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I saw my pdoc today and he's increased Seroquel to 800mg and said he wants me on that dose for the next 6 months. I also had to submit an FMLA form to HR at my company... I'm hoping HR doesn't talk with my boss at all.

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So the chances of me being spied on don't feel like 100% true. They're more like 50% sure. Me not being spied on is now an actual possibility. :) 

Like if I do something and someone sees it's because they happened to be in line of sight of my window (and my window is open) instead of someone purposely looking in there.

Edited by iaawal

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I don't want to jinx this, but the people upstairs are being much more quieter than they ever have been.  They must have been really warned because they are never like this (I am NOT complaining though!).  It is so nice to not being woken up and nice to fall asleep in quiet.

This I can live with.  I hope it doesn't change for the worse, but at this point I don't think it will.  Wow :D

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19 hours ago, iaawal said:

So the chances of me being spied on don't feel like 100% true. They're more like 50% sure. Me not being spied on is now an actual possibility. :) 

Like if I do something and someone sees it's because they happened to be in line of sight of my window (and my window is open) instead of someone purposely looking in there.

That's progress! Have you changed anything up or are the thoughts subsiding on their own?

2 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I don't want to jinx this, but the people upstairs are being much more quieter than they ever have been.  They must have been really warned because they are never like this (I am NOT complaining though!).  It is so nice to not being woken up and nice to fall asleep in quiet.

This I can live with.  I hope it doesn't change for the worse, but at this point I don't think it will.  Wow :D

It's so hard to have noisy upstairs neighbors. My solution was to move to the top floor! Glad to hear they're being quiet.

 

As for me... successful bridal shower today! We got all sorts of lovely gifts and spent time with family. All around a nice day.

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4 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I don't want to jinx this, but the people upstairs are being much more quieter than they ever have been.  They must have been really warned because they are never like this (I am NOT complaining though!).  It is so nice to not being woken up and nice to fall asleep in quiet.

This I can live with.  I hope it doesn't change for the worse, but at this point I don't think it will.  Wow :D

That's great! I hope they continue to be quiet.

20 hours ago, iaawal said:

So the chances of me being spied on don't feel like 100% true. They're more like 50% sure. Me not being spied on is now an actual possibility. :) 

Like if I do something and someone sees it's because they happened to be in line of sight of my window (and my window is open) instead of someone purposely looking in there.

That sounds like progress. :)

Glad you had a nice bridal shower, @aura!

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Got too little sleep last night and as a result I was hallucinating for a good part of the morning. That, and I keep recognizing strangers. It's frustrating.

On top of all this, I am worried about the muscle spasms I've developed over the past few months. I don't want this to progress to TD or something horrible like that. I'm not sure I feel comfortable taking two AAPs. I really want off one of them, but I don't know if pdoc will be down for that if I show up Tuesday telling him I'm still having psychotic symptoms. I might just tell him I'm fine and beg for dropping Seroquel. 

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48 minutes ago, aura said:

Got too little sleep last night and as a result I was hallucinating for a good part of the morning. That, and I keep recognizing strangers. It's frustrating.

On top of all this, I am worried about the muscle spasms I've developed over the past few months. I don't want this to progress to TD or something horrible like that. I'm not sure I feel comfortable taking two AAPs. I really want off one of them, but I don't know if pdoc will be down for that if I show up Tuesday telling him I'm still having psychotic symptoms. I might just tell him I'm fine and beg for dropping Seroquel. 

As you still are suffering from psychotic symptoms, don't do that - but do tell them about the EPS and ask for something like benztropine (Cogentin) or trihexyphenidyl (Artane).

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On 3/25/2017 at 10:44 PM, Flash said:

That's great! I hope they continue to be quiet.

That sounds like progress. :)

Glad you had a nice bridal shower, @aura!

 

On 3/25/2017 at 9:13 PM, aura said:

That's progress! Have you changed anything up or are the thoughts subsiding on their own?

It's so hard to have noisy upstairs neighbors. My solution was to move to the top floor! Glad to hear they're being quiet.

 

As for me... successful bridal shower today! We got all sorts of lovely gifts and spent time with family. All around a nice day.

Great to hear about the bridal shower, aura! :) 

Yes, I think it's progress. I started the Latuda again in early February. I only stayed at 20mg for a week then moved to 40mg the next week and I've been on that dose since. So it's been about 1.5 months or so with that dose. So it might be that that is helping. I don't think I'm depressed any longer but the thoughts continued after the depression subsided (I still struggle with motivation and interest though but those guys just stick around regardless). Now they've seemed to be subsiding. I think it's happened in the last week or so. They're getting better. 

Like, I know the government spies on everyone. That's absolutely rational. But the thoughts of me being singled out by whatever organization was spying on me and other people spying on me have calmed down. 

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Well, I thought the special mark on my hand meant I was selected by the resistance to help in the upcoming war, but people were telling me I was delusional. I'm not sure what I believe, but the mark suddenly vanished. I think it was supposed to do that, though, because otherwise I would be easily identified by the enemy. I am awaiting further instructions, but I took Zyprexa anyway. Could that have made the mark go away? 

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90% of the delusional content is gone... but there is the last 10% which is still bothering me, and I still find myself being prone to paranoid thinking even if big obvious delusions are no longer actively popping into my head. Also my hallucinations have been taken down a good few notches, but they have not vanished either. I know my pdoc wants to switch out my risperidone for cariprazine altogether... but will she try to eliminate the last bits of psychosis altogether, rather than leaving them as is? With regard to psychosis, she does seem to have a tendency to undertreat, which is annoying. Sigh.

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8 hours ago, Flash said:

Well, I thought the special mark on my hand meant I was selected by the resistance to help in the upcoming war, but people were telling me I was delusional. I'm not sure what I believe, but the mark suddenly vanished. I think it was supposed to do that, though, because otherwise I would be easily identified by the enemy. I am awaiting further instructions, but I took Zyprexa anyway. Could that have made the mark go away? 

I'm glad you took the Zyprexa. From my perspective, at least, it sounds more like delusional thinking than reality. Has this been going on for a while?

1 hour ago, Closure said:

90% of the delusional content is gone... but there is the last 10% which is still bothering me, and I still find myself being prone to paranoid thinking even if big obvious delusions are no longer actively popping into my head. Also my hallucinations have been taken down a good few notches, but they have not vanished either. I know my pdoc wants to switch out my risperidone for cariprazine altogether... but will she try to eliminate the last bits of psychosis altogether, rather than leaving them as is? With regard to psychosis, she does seem to have a tendency to undertreat, which is annoying. Sigh.

Does she know that you prefer more meds to having psychotic symptoms? Maybe she thinks she's doing you a favor by reducing your meds.

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Blood count was 11, a little on the high side but for me that's normal. Even though it never dropped out of normal range I was still concerned, so YAY I can stay on Clozapine!

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1 hour ago, aura said:

Does she know that you prefer more meds to having psychotic symptoms? Maybe she thinks she's doing you a favor by reducing your meds.

My pdoc seems to really dislike me being on multiple AAPs, and has tried to reduce my meds in general in the past (long story), with disastrous results. Conversely, she does not seem concerned with my current level of psychotic symptoms. Yes, I have never really impressed to her that I really want all of the psychotic symptoms gone, but I had assumed that eliminating psychotic symptoms altogether would be a natural goal, even though now that does not seem to be the case with her.

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1 hour ago, Butterflykisses said:

Blood count was 11, a little on the high side but for me that's normal. Even though it never dropped out of normal range I was still concerned, so YAY I can stay on Clozapine!

That must be a relief!

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3 hours ago, Closure said:

My pdoc seems to really dislike me being on multiple AAPs, and has tried to reduce my meds in general in the past (long story), with disastrous results. Conversely, she does not seem concerned with my current level of psychotic symptoms. Yes, I have never really impressed to her that I really want all of the psychotic symptoms gone, but I had assumed that eliminating psychotic symptoms altogether would be a natural goal, even though now that does not seem to be the case with her.

It sounds like this pdoc isn't providing you the care you want/need. Have you thought about searching for a new one?

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1 minute ago, Swamp56 said:

It sounds like this pdoc isn't providing you the care you want/need. Have you thought about searching for a new one?

I have thought about it, but I tend towards being conservative, because who knows if any new pdoc will be better, and why go through the trouble of finding one if one does not know what one is getting?

Also, it is not like she has not been making things better - to the contrary, she has done things like replace my carbamazepine with valproate, which made things dramatically better psychosis-wise (as carbamazepine caused risperidone to be metabolized too quickly, thus making it less effective).

However, she has also done things I disagreed with; e.g. playing around with the valproate to stabilize my mood more (as it had slightly destabilized) first when I would have rather she had quashed the last bits of psychosis first (due did not do both at once because she did not want to change too many meds at once), or when I was hallucinating and we did not know whether it was the quetiapine or not that was causing it, taking me off the quetiapine without replacing it with another AP, even though I had been quite delusional not that long ago, just so she could see how I functioned without any other APs aside from the risperidone, and kept me off any AP other than risperidone as long as I seemed stable, and even when psychotic symptoms temporarily leaked in but then went away, only adding more AP when the psychotic symptoms really hit full force.

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So I talked to my shrink this morning about the hypersexuality and possible hypomania- he said 1) the Abilify dose I'm on wouldn't let me become manic; 2) I'm 27 and am supposed to have a high sex drive. I was just depressed for a really long time, and now I have to get used to my un-depressed self.

WTF.

I told him it's bothering me so much that it's making it difficult to concentrate at work, etc., and he gave me the same answer.

I don't get it.

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