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You insinuated. That is all. I'm done. Blocking!

Take a year off and get yourself stable, I've had to do that before. Breaking for a year with the intention of returning is better than flunking out. You can fix it with the school now so you can come

Oh, it's officially been over a year since my last hospitalization for psychiatric reasons and my last trip to the psychiatric emergency room. Finally!

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I had a major bomb drop on me.  My mom and I went to a restaurant, and when it was our turn to order, I could not formulate the way to say lettuce, yes, no, black...  I felt like my brain had to reset for 2 minutes, while it tried to reindex all the words I know.  I had no vocabulary for 2 minutes.  2 whole minutes.  Schizophrenia brain does not do this right?  I've lost all interest in anything.  And I feel like it was done to me on purpose by my voices.  To exercise control that they still have.  I'm nervous and scared now...

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I saw my pdoc today and talked to her about what had happened from Sunday through Tuesday, and she decided to take me off cariprazine, which she said didn't seem to be working, to increase my risperidone back to 6 mg as it was a while back (I did have side effects at that dose, but considering how back what happened was something needed to be done), and to give me the dissolvable olanzapine prn that I had asked for, in the 5 mg form. Hopefully this will prevent me from getting these episodes again, and if it does not, at least will give me something to suppress them right away before they get any worse.

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38 minutes ago, whatsizbucket said:

I had a major bomb drop on me.  My mom and I went to a restaurant, and when it was our turn to order, I could not formulate the way to say lettuce, yes, no, black...  I felt like my brain had to reset for 2 minutes, while it tried to reindex all the words I know.  I had no vocabulary for 2 minutes.  2 whole minutes.  Schizophrenia brain does not do this right?  I've lost all interest in anything.  And I feel like it was done to me on purpose by my voices.  To exercise control that they still have.  I'm nervous and scared now...

I have had similar occurrences. It used to happen while I was trying to communicate with people when I used to work or when at school even. I would play it off or point to what I was trying to talk about, but I'd get odd looks still. 

I'm not sure how long it lasted for me. I never timed it and it was 10 years ago that it was occurring. 

Now I get words stolen from my brain at times and I go blank, but it's nothing like it used to be (when I was stressed working and not on meds).

It's very scary. I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't blame you for feeling nervous. Take it easy and relax if you can tonight. Maybe a prn med can help if you have one? Thinking of you. 

On 5/31/2017 at 5:24 AM, melissaw72 said:

My mood has gotten so much better ... not out of the woods yet with the depression, but I am starting to feel a lot better that I have been for months.

That's great Melissa! I am happy to hear that! I hope your mood only continues to improve!

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22 minutes ago, Closure said:

I saw my pdoc today and talked to her about what had happened from Sunday through Tuesday, and she decided to take me off cariprazine, which she said didn't seem to be working, to increase my risperidone back to 6 mg as it was a while back (I did have side effects at that dose, but considering how back what happened was something needed to be done), and to give me the dissolvable olanzapine prn that I had asked for, in the 5 mg form. Hopefully this will prevent me from getting these episodes again, and if it does not, at least will give me something to suppress them right away before they get any worse.

I took 20 mg of zyprexa (and also at times the zydis form) for many, many years. It was a miracle med for me. And I was only on the one AAP too.

But I gained so much weight (100 lbs in total) but I felt happy and was able to stay out of the hospital instead of a revolving door situation. For health concerns I was taken off of it. I'm sad I can't take it. 

I hope it helps you as much as it helped me all those years. I don't regret taking it all those years either. Best of luck to you!

 

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7 minutes ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

I took 20 mg of zyprexa (and also at times the zydis form) for many, many years. It was a miracle med for me. And I was only on the one AAP too.

But I gained so much weight (100 lbs in total) but I felt happy and was able to stay out of the hospital instead of a revolving door situation. For health concerns I was taken off of it. I'm sad I can't take it. 

I hope it helps you as much as it helped me all those years. I don't regret taking it all those years either. Best of luck to you!

Well, I do not plan on taking olanzapine every day; rather, this is as an emergency med, for these episodes where I get markedly psychotic that I have been getting recently. Risperidone rather is my normal AP, for keeping things like my everyday paranoia away. But yeah, I would not have asked for olanzapine as an everyday med, for the very reason you mention above, even though it is quite effective.

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1 hour ago, whatsizbucket said:

I could not formulate the way to say lettuce, yes, no, black...  I felt like my brain had to reset for 2 minutes, while it tried to reindex all the words I know.  I had no vocabulary for 2 minutes. 

I've had this to a lesser degree (up to 10-15 seconds) and it's super annoying and scary. I hope that it goes away!

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1 minute ago, Closure said:

Well, I do not plan on taking olanzapine every day; rather, this is as an emergency med, for these episodes where I get markedly psychotic that I have been getting recently. Risperidone rather is my normal AP, for keeping things like my everyday paranoia away. But yeah, I would not have asked for olanzapine as an everyday med, for the very reason you mention above, even though it is quite effective.

Forgive me if this is a dumb question. But I don't understand how a person would know when to take a PRN AAP. I want to be able to take zyprexa PRN. Please help me understand. 

How do you know you need a zyprexa? Every time you hear a voice? Every time you feel people want to hurt you? Every time you get a message on the radio from the universe regarding timelines? I'd be taking one daily at minimum!

And then how many days do you take a PRN zyprexa in a row if these have occurred? 

I don't understand this PRN AAP concept. I would love to try it though.

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1 minute ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

Forgive me if this is a dumb question. But I don't understand how a person would know when to take a PRN AAP. I want to be able to take zyprexa PRN. Please help me understand. 

How do you know you need a zyprexa? Every time you hear a voice? Every time you feel people want to hurt you? Every time you get a message on the radio from the universe regarding timelines? I'd be taking one daily at minimum!

And then how many days do you take a PRN zyprexa in a row if these have occurred? 

I don't understand this PRN AAP concept. I would love to try it though.

For me it would be if I have delusions with strong conviction, especially if they are alarming in content or dominate my thoughts, which stick out in contrast with my more usual, pedestrian delusions of generally weaker conviction which I can more easily dismiss or ignore; this would work because I never completely lose insight even when I have delusions of very strong conviction. Also, the former for me come in unpredictable episodes that last a few days at a time, whereas the latter until recently were predictable and I got used to them quickly (they were more pronounced on work days end less pronounced on weekends). Note that my hallucinations are minor and have practically no impact on me, so I would not take a prn for those.

I would probably take one prn a day until the stronger delusions faded; my pdoc has prescribed it to me such that I could take one every single day need be, even though I do not plan on doing so.

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1 minute ago, Closure said:

For me it would be if I have delusions with strong conviction, especially if they are alarming in content or dominate my thoughts, which stick out in contrast with my more usual, pedestrian delusions of generally weaker conviction which I can more easily dismiss or ignore; this would work because I never completely lose insight even when I have delusions of very strong conviction. Also, the former for me come in unpredictable episodes that last a few days at a time, whereas the latter until recently were predictable and I got used to them quickly (they were more pronounced on work days end less pronounced on weekends). Note that my hallucinations are minor and have practically no impact on me, so I would not take a prn for those.

I would probably take one prn a day until the stronger delusions faded; my pdoc has prescribed it to me such that I could take one every single day need be, even though I do not plan on doing so.

Ok thanks for the reply. I am glad that this method will probably work well for you! I might start a topic on it to see what others have to say. I am still confused. I'm sorry. I am not smart. 

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My case might be a bit weird, but olanzapine has been weight neutral for me. I also find it activating and take it in the morning. So I wouldn't write it off completely as a potential daily medication. Paired with seroquel, I have practically no psychotic symptoms (or any symptoms for that matter) anymore, and I know that's a goal for you @Closure.

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9 hours ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

That's great Melissa! I am happy to hear that! I hope your mood only continues to improve!

Thanks Cheese :)

-----------------------

 

My pdoc is such ... I just have no words after yesterday.  I guess we'll see how next week goes.  Hopefully better.

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Been awhile since I've been hear.

Stable unstable.

Psych team almost dragged me to the hospital

Still feel like they're are probes in my brain

Psych team comes everyday in case I get worse

Started B-12 injections 2x/week to assist in weight loss

Oh and the spending habits have been terrible! I can't stop buying makeup!

I quit my job cause I thought i had another one lined up...that fell through

I've been applying everywhere and so far I'm getting and interviewing but I'm getting unfulfilled promises.

Trying convince dr that I need Ativan. It really calms me down when I'm a mess.

In a nutshell: i want to die but sometimes I wanna live

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I feel so tired. So very tired. It's probably the Perphenazine kicking in after about 2 weeks of titrating it. My pdoc wants to get to a therapeutic dose before we start lowering the Seroquel. I really hope this fatigue doesn't persist or get worse :( .

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2 hours ago, dancingteapot said:

Been awhile since I've been hear.

Stable unstable.

Psych team almost dragged me to the hospital

Still feel like they're are probes in my brain

Psych team comes everyday in case I get worse

Started B-12 injections 2x/week to assist in weight loss

Oh and the spending habits have been terrible! I can't stop buying makeup!

I quit my job cause I thought i had another one lined up...that fell through

I've been applying everywhere and so far I'm getting and interviewing but I'm getting unfulfilled promises.

Trying convince dr that I need Ativan. It really calms me down when I'm a mess.

In a nutshell: i want to die but sometimes I wanna live

Hi :)

I'm really sorry this is all happening to you.  You don't deserve it!

 

--------------------

 

Plan on cancelling pdoc appt this week ... I need a break from him.  I'll go in 2 weeks, but after last week I need a break this week.  We can talk about it in 2 weeks.

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Well I tried my 5 mg olanzapine dissolvable prn last night (around 11 pm), and it made me very sleepy all the way until noon today - but aside from a moment where my delusions were leaking a bit through around lunchtime, I have been free of delusions today. However, I this afternoon started getting tremors in my legs at times, probably a result of the combination of being on both 6 mg of risperidone and 5 mg of olanzapine, even though I am also on 1 mg of benztropine. So it turns out that I will probably only be able to use the prn for emergencies, but it does appear to be pretty effective.

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4 hours ago, dancingteapot said:

Been awhile since I've been hear.

Stable unstable.

Psych team almost dragged me to the hospital

Still feel like they're are probes in my brain

Psych team comes everyday in case I get worse

Started B-12 injections 2x/week to assist in weight loss

Oh and the spending habits have been terrible! I can't stop buying makeup!

I quit my job cause I thought i had another one lined up...that fell through

I've been applying everywhere and so far I'm getting and interviewing but I'm getting unfulfilled promises.

Trying convince dr that I need Ativan. It really calms me down when I'm a mess.

In a nutshell: i want to die but sometimes I wanna live

I hear you. I've been stable unstable. Sometimes I wanna die but sometimes I wanna live. 

I hope you get a job and the ativan soon. Good to hear from you. 

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2 hours ago, Swamp56 said:

I feel so tired. So very tired. It's probably the Perphenazine kicking in after about 2 weeks of titrating it. My pdoc wants to get to a therapeutic dose before we start lowering the Seroquel. I really hope this fatigue doesn't persist or get worse :( .

I hope the fatigue gets better for you. Maybe it's the combo of the meds causing the extreme fatigue? Maybe when the Seroquel is lowered the fatigue will lessen. I'll cross my fingers for you that it gets better. I understand the feeling of being so tired all the time. I sleep 12 hours a night minimum. And I'm tired during the day at times too. It stinks. 

2 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Hi :)

I'm really sorry this is all happening to you.  You don't deserve it!

 

--------------------

 

Plan on cancelling pdoc appt this week ... I need a break from him.  I'll go in 2 weeks, but after last week I need a break this week.  We can talk about it in 2 weeks.

Oh no. I was hoping things had been all sorted out and were better with your pdoc, Melissa. I'm sorry to hear this. I don't blame you for needing a break. Regroup and you can think about what needs to be discussed in two weeks then. Sounds like a wise idea. 

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2 hours ago, Closure said:

Well I tried my 5 mg olanzapine dissolvable prn last night (around 11 pm), and it made me very sleepy all the way until noon today - but aside from a moment where my delusions were leaking a bit through around lunchtime, I have been free of delusions today. However, I this afternoon started getting tremors in my legs at times, probably a result of the combination of being on both 6 mg of risperidone and 5 mg of olanzapine, even though I am also on 1 mg of benztropine. So it turns out that I will probably only be able to use the prn for emergencies, but it does appear to be pretty effective.

I'm sorry to hear about the tremors but I'm glad the PRN was effective. It should work great for emergencies then. Good news!

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