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Whenever I realize or remember something about who I am, I write it down somewhere.  That helps.  Things I like to do, or want to be, or flaws - just things that occur to me.

 

I don't know how to get a real cohesive "me" sense, but at least picking up the pieces is a start.

Edited by tryp
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  • 2 weeks later...

If I'm remembering correctly, my process began with identifying my wants and needs. From there, I began to understand how those functioned and changed. Then I started being able to understand my likes and dislikes. One of my ongoing tasks was to treat myself to what I called "date nights" where i did all the nice things i would typically do for another person, but for myself. That usually looked like cooking a fancy meal, lighting candles, setting some awesome music, and just spending time in my home enjoying the experience. The more I did things like dinner dates, or nice long pampered soaks in the tub, etc, the more time i wound up spending with myself. That self bonding time I think was really valuable in the "finding myself" process.

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If I'm remembering correctly, my process began with identifying my wants and needs. From there, I began to understand how those functioned and changed. Then I started being able to understand my likes and dislikes. One of my ongoing tasks was to treat myself to what I called "date nights" where i did all the nice things i would typically do for another person, but for myself. That usually looked like cooking a fancy meal, lighting candles, setting some awesome music, and just spending time in my home enjoying the experience. The more I did things like dinner dates, or nice long pampered soaks in the tub, etc, the more time i wound up spending with myself. That self bonding time I think was really valuable in the "finding myself" process.

This is exactly what I was told to do in my IOP a couple months ago. I'm also very codependent so it's very hard for me to figure out anything about who I am apart from other people. I haven't been able to bring myself to doing this, however. Whenever I'm alone in a setting in which I could have a day/night to myself, I become anxious, restless, and hopeless. It's very difficult, for me at least. But it's good to know that what professionals recommended for me is actually effective for some people.

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i often say to myself who am i. where did me start and finish. was there ever a me to begin with. im lost and confused by this. does my head in. saddens me now to think of it.

This is precisely how I feel. I have a very poor memory, so I think the same thing. Am I even a person? What type of person am I, if I am a person? Was I ever a person and then became not a person? Am I evil? Am I perhaps a little good? What do I want from my life, myself, or other people? What am I? Who am I? Does an "I" part of me even exist? I'm in constant existential crisis. I am blank, I am nothing, I have nothing inside or outside of me, I am a void, I am a black hole, I am a shadow against the wall, I have no voice, no purpose. Sorry...that was really negative, but it's how I feel, identity-less.

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i often say to myself who am i. where did me start and finish. was there ever a me to begin with. im lost and confused by this. does my head in. saddens me now to think of it.

This is precisely how I feel. I have a very poor memory, so I think the same thing. Am I even a person? What type of person am I, if I am a person? Was I ever a person and then became not a person? Am I evil? Am I perhaps a little good? What do I want from my life, myself, or other people? What am I? Who am I? Does an "I" part of me even exist? I'm in constant existential crisis. I am blank, I am nothing, I have nothing inside or outside of me, I am a void, I am a black hole, I am a shadow against the wall, I have no voice, no purpose. Sorry...that was really negative, but it's how I feel, identity-less.

 

your spot on thats me to a "T". how do we live with feeling this way?

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  • 4 weeks later...

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