I've been applying for jobs. I just quit a new one because I was too anxious to make the commute. I've been checking the disability box. How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel on working? Have you been able to find a job that works with your disabilities? My GAD manifests as social anxiety and agoraphobia. It seems to be getting worse. I was too anxious to meet with a new tdoc today. How do you even begin to qualify for disability in the US? How do you get help when you can't help yourself?
I'm going to see a lawyer tomorrow about disability, and I'm terrified. I don't know what to expect and my anxiety is through the roof. I keep feeling like they are going to laugh at me and think I'm not sick enough. I've had nightmares about it all week, and I keep obsessively thinking about it.
Has anyone else gone through this? What was the meeting like?
Any info or support is welcome.
A few days ago, my husband left and called my family to come get me. I was sick out of work for a week. Husband stayed home with me that last day and then disapeared while I was napping. The next thing I knew was that my family gathered me up, brought me to another city where they live, told me to quit my job, and give notice on my rental house. I'm giving away almost all my possessions as I don't know when I will be able to live on my own again. I now have no job, no husband, no money, and no freedom. I am giving my mom power of attorney since I can't manage anything right now. I hate bipolar. So weary of being sick. My family is planning on me going on permanent disability, because I seem to be getting more unstable as I age. I feel beyond bad. My young adult son is more of an adult than I am. I know I am venting. Does anyone have any hope to offer? Right now, I'm feeling pretty out of hope.
It's not fair. It's not fair that my situation isn't fair...ugh.
Life isn't fair. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION?! I'M GOING TO THE PUB - dammit, I can't drink! Wait, that's an idiom. Or is it a metaphor? Shit, now I have a headache.
Life isn't fair, but that doesn't give people the right to be assholes. And yet there are assholes everywhere I turn. Corruption, hypocrisy, deception, denial, manipulation, crime, the list goes on. These very wrong, very unfair acts don't bother them. My family, my neighbors, most of my entire neighborhood, the city council, and that's just in my little city!
I've recently figured out unfairness is at least one cause of my GAD and anger problems.
By unfairness, I don't mean yelling "that's not fair!" to your parents for grounding you all weekend as punishment for the viral YouTube video of you feeding your toddler brother worms and telling him they're noodles. I never did that, but I got grounded a lot for pointing out my parents were criticizing me about behavior they also exhibited and did nothing to fix. When you're five and know what hypocrisy is and have no qualms about telling it like it is...ugh. I wished I'd learned to shut up earlier. Would have given me a few more years before I had to start meds. Learning to shut up without meds would have saved me the trouble of groveling to a Lenin-Stalin fangirl sociology professor so she wouldn't report me to the dean and push for my expulsion after I pointed out very bluntly that Lenin's revolution involved murdering a bunch of people just because they were rich, and Stalin also murdered a bunch of people and partnered with the Allies only when Hitler threatened the Soviet Union.
So, I'm talking about social problems outside your control that are inherently unfair across society, from family all the way to the entire Earth. Things people around you can just shrug off and say, "that's just the way it is," while you shake inside because you don't want to live on this horrible planet with horrible people you can't change.
Does this sound familiar?
Last week, a new study published by the American Sociological Association in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior found, based on randomised testing of 320 psychotherapists in the New York area, that psychotherapists are significantly less likely to offer therapy appointments to black middle-class patients than to white ones (17% of black middle-class callers were offered appointments, compared with 28% of white-middle class callers).
Working-class callers of both races were worse off still (8% were offered an appointment) – even though all callers said they had the same health insurance and only contacted in-network practitioners.
A poor brain is as worthy as a rich brain: psychotherapy faces a privilege problem | Guardian