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I Need To Rant


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Apologies if this isn't the right forum. Mods can feel free to move it if there's a more appropriate one.

 

I feel like I shouldn't be as upset by this as I am, but I was talking to someone today who kept insisting that people with PTSD are "broken beyond repair." That they can't be helped. That they are fundamentally broken as people and only the mild cases can be "rehabilitated." He posted some pop-sci nonsense talking about scientists theorizing about someday deleting memories out of people's brains, saying that someday that might not be the case. 

 

I talked to him about EMDR, exposure therapy, how there are a number of evidence-based treatments and many people do recover to the point where they don't meet the diagnostic criteria anymore. I talked about my experience with these treatments a little bit. And he got really pedantic and pseudo-intellectual and was lecturing me (wrongly) about it and calling me oversensitive, and I'm just... so angry. I ended the conversation at that point, but I just really needed to vent about it to people who actually understand this sort of thing. That's such an awful, harmful thing to tell someone.

 

Has anyone else run into this sort of thing before and want to share?

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Ignorance abounds.

I don't have the energy to try to educate people who don't want to be educated. Maybe one day that guy will be hit with a truck and, while he's limping around healing, people will point and laugh at him for being a cripple and he'll want to tell them that no, he wasn't born that way (because fuck disability amirite) and no one will listen or care...

 

I have no patience for others' ignorance. I am willing to be there if people are willing to learn, but if people just want to point and laugh then I'll happy hand them a blindfold. And maybe spin them in circles.

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(which roughly translates as 'what you are living is way outside of my life experience and education so I'm going to make you feel bad to distract from my discomfort and fear.) 

That's so apt. They don't understand it and it makes them uncomfortable, so they try to push it away and rationalize it in a way that keeps them from having to think about it.

 

 

And I suppose that is hard because:

  • I have secret fears that well, maybe I am beyond repair
  • I am trying really hard to be normal because that is what I have to do to get on, so really, why are people critiquing that?
  • I hate that people have to be judgmental wankers to deal with my MI when they're not even suffering that MI.
  • People like that take a moment to make a ignorant comment then walk away. I live with MI all the time.
  • Those kinds of ideas make it harder for me to seek and stay in therapy.

You know what though? Be proud that you had the presence of mind to challenge him, and also to walk away with your dignity intact. So many people would feel rightly wounded and retreat, and it sound like you calmly gave him the facts. So good for you for fighting stigma and sticking up for us all. Be proud that not only are you battling MI with courage, you are prepared to take time out to educate others. That is a great quality.

I can relate. I've been doing better lately, but for a very long time I felt that I was fundamentally incapable of getting better. That I had been forever damaged and I would never be okay again. And then some ignorant jerk comes in and starts reinforcing such a harmful idea so he can feel better.

 

Thank you for the kind words. I wasn't completely calm, though. I started out that way, trying to educate and such, but the more pedantic and insistent he got, the angrier I got, and I ended up calling him an "ignorant ass" before I heading out. Stigma sucks.

 

 

I have no patience for others' ignorance. I am willing to be there if people are willing to learn, but if people just want to point and laugh then I'll happy hand them a blindfold. And maybe spin them in circles.

Yeah, that's my general attitude, too. I've definitely run into ignorant people before and I'm usually able to dismiss them, but this kind of insistent ignorance really got me. I'm used to people saying things like "Oh your disease isn't real, just get over it." and stuff like that, but I don't think I've run into the "you'll never recover" before. 

 

Thanks everyone for reading and responding to my vent. I'm glad people understand.

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