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What type of obsessions do you have in your OCD


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The fear that I might commit sexual violence.  I have no desire to do so and find the idea really upsetting.  My brain still won't leave me alone about the idea though.  Also, that I might commit more general acts of violence.  There's also the fear that I might just randomly walk out into traffic and kill myself despite not being suicidal.

 

Take a look at the workbook by Bruce Hyman if you haven't.  

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(I don't know how to quote, sorry)

But Velvet Elvis, I did not know that those things could be from ocd! I've had it for so long and I have so many diagnoses that I don't know what's from ocd and what's not. I also fear that one day I will molest a child or something crazy. Also, when I am waiting for the train on a daily basis, I am scared that something in me will for no reason cause me to run in front of the train. I remember a couple of years ago I was really worried that something in me would make me kiss my teacher, when I had no feelings for him or anything.

Most of my ocd is related to religion, and some responsibility for harm or mistakes. There's also some nitpicky things about order and symmetry.

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I have all of the above with the exception of religion. A few examples:

 

-obsessions about making minor mistakes and accidentally being responsible for someone's death or getting fired and becoming homeless, etc

-obsessions about contracting a deadly illness from touching things or breathing contaminated air (those tend to be low insight)

-loads of ordering obsessions and compulsions (If I don't do this in the right order, I'll get everything wrong and everyone will hate me and I'll get fired, etc)

-obsessions about violently hurting people

-obsessions about committing sexual violence

-obsessions about developing pedophilia (or other unacceptable sexual attractions, but that's the big one)

-obsessions about not loving a partner enough or having sex at the wrong time/without really wanting to

-obsessions about throwing things away and needing them later and general hoarding stuff.

 

There are more, but I think that list covers most of the major bases. Thank god the meds are working. I don't think I've had any sexual obsessions for a while. And I'm much better able to deal with them since finally getting diagnosed, since I know they're part of a mental illness and I'm not just some violent, scary person.

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(I don't know how to quote, sorry)

But Velvet Elvis, I did not know that those things could be from ocd! I've had it for so long and I have so many diagnoses that I don't know what's from ocd and what's not. I also fear that one day I will molest a child or something crazy. Also, when I am waiting for the train on a daily basis, I am scared that something in me will for no reason cause me to run in front of the train. I remember a couple of years ago I was really worried that something in me would make me kiss my teacher, when I had no feelings for him or anything.

Most of my ocd is related to religion, and some responsibility for harm or mistakes. There's also some nitpicky things about order and symmetry.

 

To quote someone you hit the "quote" button at the bottom right of each comment.

We you describe sounds a lot like the things I've always attributed to OCD.   I worry about hurting kids too but don't bring it up often here for fear of triggering someone, etc.  

 

One time I was sitting in a mall food court eating and all I could think about was that I might stand up and lick the guy at the next table in the eyeball.  That's when I realized my mind was being completely absurd and I brought it up with a tdoc.

I have all of the above with the exception of religion. A few examples:

 

-obsessions about making minor mistakes and accidentally being responsible for someone's death or getting fired and becoming homeless, etc

-obsessions about contracting a deadly illness from touching things or breathing contaminated air (those tend to be low insight)

-loads of ordering obsessions and compulsions (If I don't do this in the right order, I'll get everything wrong and everyone will hate me and I'll get fired, etc)

-obsessions about violently hurting people

-obsessions about committing sexual violence

-obsessions about developing pedophilia (or other unacceptable sexual attractions, but that's the big one)

-obsessions about not loving a partner enough or having sex at the wrong time/without really wanting to

-obsessions about throwing things away and needing them later and general hoarding stuff.

 

There are more, but I think that list covers most of the major bases. Thank god the meds are working. I don't think I've had any sexual obsessions for a while. And I'm much better able to deal with them since finally getting diagnosed, since I know they're part of a mental illness and I'm not just some violent, scary person.

 

What meds are you on?

 

I forgot to mention hording.  I do that too.

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The fear that I might commit sexual violence.  I have no desire to do so and find the idea really upsetting.  My brain still won't leave me alone about the idea though.  Also, that I might commit more general acts of violence.  There's also the fear that I might just randomly walk out into traffic and kill myself despite not being suicidal.

I don't have an OCD diagnosis (never have), but I have intrusive thoughts that sound very similar to these, all the time. I always figured they were part of anxiety. 

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What meds are you on?

 

I forgot to mention hording.  I do that too.

Sertraline/Zoloft. I got lucky. The first med my (wonderful) pdoc put me on is making a huge difference. My obsessions are much easier to deal with, less intense, less frequent, and easier to talk myself out of. I can think in straight lines in a way I've never been able to before. I could wax on about this med long past the point of anyone's interest. 

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Another obsession I have is skunks, and getting sprayed by one.  I think of it all the time when I am about to go outside (especially in the summer), and worry until I get home.

 

Also that I might do something impulsive, ie, like trip someone, but something that is inappropriate.

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Here's some examples for responsibility for harm or mistakes from the workbook:

 

making mistakes that would result in harm to other people (I have this one BIG time)

being responsible for disasters (house burning down because I didn't unplug hair dryer/straightener

not doing enough to prevent something bad or awful from happening

Edited by Butterflykisses
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What meds are you on?

 

I forgot to mention hording.  I do that too.

Sertraline/Zoloft. I got lucky. The first med my (wonderful) pdoc put me on is making a huge difference. My obsessions are much easier to deal with, less intense, less frequent, and easier to talk myself out of. I can think in straight lines in a way I've never been able to before. I could wax on about this med long past the point of anyone's interest.

I am on 300 mg of Zoloft and it doesn't seem to be helping at all.

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I don't have an OCD diagnosis but I can identify with certain things.

Germs-I cannot deal. If someone in the house is sick, especially with vomiting or diarrhea I will wipe everything over and over, i'll spray everything with disinfectant, I will obsessively wash my hands, I'll clean the toilet after every single time it is used, wipe down the taps, the soap, the doors and walls of the toilet and bathroom, I hate it. I'm marginally less compulsive with the flu etc but only a little.

 

Food-I'm petrified of food poisoning. I will sniff every piece of meat I buy, if there's the slightest chance it doesn't smell quite right I won't eat it. If I suspect it in any way for whatever reason I will not eat it, if someone else cooks for me and I haven't been able to check the meat I worry about whether or not it's okay and might make me sick.

 

Hair straightener. I spent 2 years having to come back to check my hair straightener was off, even if I hadn't used it and also knowing it has a timer on it that automatically turns it off. I was terrified I would burn my house down.

 

Breaking and entering. Again I spent 2 years of my life convinced someone would break in at night. I would compulsively check all windows, I put wooden poles in them to lock them shut even though I had a house alarm, all screens on doors had to be locked and I kept either a knife or a rolling pin under the bed and would be awake in a panic and grabbing it at every little noise and shift in the house. At the same time I was terrified I might stab one of my kids while they were going to the loo or something thinking they were an intruder.

The dishwasher. I cannot handle anyone else packing it.

The dishes. I have to wash them. I hate anyone else doing it.

The laundry, if someone else folds it, I will refold it so it's folded how I like it. I cannot put it away if it's been folded wrong.

I think there's more but that's all I can think of for now.

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I am convinced that other people are judging me.  I play and replay conversations that I've had with people trying to figure out if they are mad at me.  I spend a lot of time worrying what the other parents at my child's school think about me.

Me too. I never thought of it as OCD, but now that you mention it, it does make sense.

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