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What type of obsessions do you have in your OCD


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I obbseive about everything in my life just when I think I have conquers one thing it attaches its self to another which pushes me in to deeper depression coupled in with schizophrenia I often question waking up but its the cards I've been delt if only I could ocd something useful. Maybe I can

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I tend to hoard food. My pantry could probably feed my entire family for months if we ate useless food (I have a tendency to hoard things like rice, crackers, pancake mixes, grains, flours-all things I rarely cook with).

I also HAVE to run out the minute I decide I need something. For example, if I think I might want to start taking probiotics I will have to go and buy them right then. I can't wait till the next day. Even if logically I know I can get them at 10 stores and they won't be sold out, I still feel compelled to go and get them right away. I do this with stuff in general..........a new pan.........a pair of pants...........food...........a hair straightener.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am convinced that other people are judging me.  I play and replay conversations that I've had with people trying to figure out if they are mad at me.  I spend a lot of time worrying what the other parents at my child's school think about me.

I spent a full year on and off obsessing over how me and an ex-friend argued at each other and split up. It got me nuts. The same conversation repeating itself so many times trying to figure out if this or this word was right or too much... One day being angry at her and the other at myself and going on like this, like a yo-yo.

It happened with another ex-friend for a couple months replaying our last conversation. However, this one always ended in me beating him up violently in thousand of different ways. This was exhausting to have so much hate. What's ridiculous is I ended our relationship for a minor miscommunication and a 5$ issue...

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Mostly my obsessions are about natural disasters (earthquakes now that I don't live in tornado country any more).

 

Sometimes I get the germ-phobic type obsessions and the more general cleanliness obsessions.

 

This makes it hard to live with a service dog sometimes. But she's a good sport about having her paws wiped when I get a little wiggy.

 

Rarely I will get other obsessive thoughts that I am uncomfortable describing on an internet forum.

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Floods and Fires. I obsess about my apartment flooding and losing everything, or it going up in flames and losing everything. 

 

I got renter's insurance which helps take some of the anxiety away, but not a lot.  I am always thinking about what if ...

 

I have a backpack nearby and know what I'd throw in it if there was a fire in the building (or every time the alarm goes off), and I try to keep a lot of stuff off the floor so I can't lose much with a flood.  I don't even have matches or a lighter in my apartment.

 

The flood worry is close to home though because the lady upstairs, with her negligence, flooded her apartment, which all that water came down and flooded my apartment, and I did lose a few things that were on the floor.  3 fucking times.

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OCD is not my primary problem but I do have elements of it.

 

Ruminations....  skin picking....  occasionally having to "think" a word or phrase over and over...

 

In the past I've had other things, like having to touch a certain wall, hold my breath past certain buildings, continually "wiping" germs off my paper as I was writing...   :dunce:

 

In high school I had religious OCD, (the blasphemy thing) awful, awful.  It was part of my depression though.

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Floods and Fires. I obsess about my apartment flooding and losing everything, or it going up in flames and losing everything. 

 

I do the fires thing. I obsess that I've left on my hair straightener, even if I remember unplugging it, I worry that my daughter left hers on, that my husband left his computer on the lounge on and the battery will create a fire on the lounge, I worry that my cat will die. It's always about my cat. When my last one passed away I stopped worrying about the fire quite as much, then when I got another, the paranoia about it came back.

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-Checking the time to make sure I won't be late (If I wasn't constantly checking the time I could probably leave another 5 minutes later for everything)

-Making sure lights and appliances are off and the door is locked

-Lining things up so that they are square with the desk or whatever they are on

-A certain speech I have to say in my head once a day

-And various other 'tasks' that come up in my head during the day

 

Usually I think either someone close to me will die or I won't pass an exam etc. if I don't do these

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I have to say "knock on wood" whenever I (or someone else) say something that could potentially happen that wouldn't be good.  I knock on wood to make sure it won't happen, sometimes actually knocking on actual wood; other times knocking on wood in my mind, ie if I see a tree or something.

 

If there is "new" wood that I havent knocked on yet, then that makes things so they most likely definitely won't happen.  Or at least my mind thinks that.  If I don't say it I get anxious and stressed out.

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  • 5 weeks later...

I don't have an OCD diagnosis, as I've only just started talking about my intrusive and obsessive thoughts with my therapist and psychiatrist. Whether or not it's actually OCD is something they will decide, but some of my obsessions include

  • contamination, mainly breathing in contaminated air. I involuntarily flinch whenever someone within 10 feet of me sneezes. I have to force myself to breathe afterwards even though it makes me really really uncomfortable because I'm terrified of breathing in unclean air
  • hurting myself. I get very graphic mental images and thoughts about violently and severely hurting myself, usually by stabbing myself or walking into traffic. I can distinguish between these thoughts and actual suicidal/SI urges, though sometimes these thoughts lead to SI because I just want them to stop
  • hurting someone else, either with physical or sexual violence. these thoughts make me extremely uncomfortable and have been really bad the past few weeks.
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  • 5 weeks later...

Order and symmetry particularly hair cutting. My hair gets brutalized. I feel good just prior to a cut session feel great temporarily. The next day I see what I've done and can't believe how elated and happy I felt the day I cut. Disbelief the next morning hating what I did that I caved again. It's not better it's worse must continually fix it. I did it again thinking I'm in control. No no no

As well as buying things in equal numbers not just one has to be 2 or 4--- even numbers

Crocked pictures on walls don't get me going. Doesn't have to be my wall

Edited by stelex
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I don't have an official OCD diagnosis, but reading this thread makes it pretty plain I probably need one (seeing the pdoc in a couple of weeks about this very thing).  Things I obsess about:

 

*hurting my daughter

*getting in a car accident while I'm mixed

*people being angry with me

*intrusive sexual imagery

*intrusive violent imagery often having to do with genitalia

*being attacked/raped

*hurting someone else while I'm mixed

*being put in jail

*being institutionalized

*being put in a nursing home when I'm old

*what will happen to me when I'm old in general

*my relationship with my daughter

*personal interactions that haven't happened yet

 

I'm sure there are others but those are the main ones.  I'm more obsessive than compulsive, though I do compulsively fiddle with my shirt, take the things I hear/read and "type" them with my fingers counting the letters in groups of 3, 4, 5, or 7, and jiggle my foot up and down.  I've also caught myself gently rocking sometimes, which makes me feel extra crazy.

 

As I mentioned, I'll be seeing my pdoc about all this in a couple of weeks, so I hope to get prescribed something that will help.  I already take Ativan as needed but that doesn't address the chronic problem, just particularly bad episodes.

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Some possible compulsiony type things, that seem to be rooted in sensory issues? Kinda? But became something more.

Volume set at multiples of three. I plain ol' like multiples of three and use them wherever I can, but volume on TV, computer, MP3 player - they HAVE to be multiples of three. It sounds off, otherwise. I can tell if my MP3 player is at a non-multiple of three by ear alone, 'cause I'm so used to its volume increments (in groups of three, anyway.)

Anything I posted about touching drains or the sides in showers off in confessions. I've had this for at least ten years. The drain is dirty/squicky, can't put my feet on it. Cubicle showers tend to be small so I'm at risk of touching sides, stepping on the drain, etc. Touching sides or curtain is like touching the drain. That plastic SHIT they sometimes do sides and even the bottom with is AWFUL EW GROSS BAD. Although I prefer curtains to sliding doors. Tiles on the walls, porcelain under my feet, and a clean fabric-ish shower curtain (NOT the obvious cheap clear plastic.) And if I'm actually showering (semi-)regularly I somehow keep this part of the bathroom SPOTLESS. I really think a lot of it started out sensory-based: a LOT of it has to do with textures. Like, touching the sides is ew, but if it's tile walls kept clean then it's not that bad and I don't freak out or have my skin crawl.

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Stimming behaviours aren't necessarily OCD. Like jiggling your foot or rocking. Stimming can be a way to vent overload, and can happen with anxiety sure, it's not just an autism thing. Says the autistic who stims. Anyway. I flap/rock when happy, but also when anxious (so yes sometimes when obsessing.) But it's... well it's tricky. I don't see them as *compulsions* and I don't even view my face-picking as a compulsion anymore. I think it's sensory, for me.

Like if you *must* jiggle your foot or rock after a certain trigger, it's different. I could be talking out of my ass though. But rocking, jiggling feet - these are often self-soothing behaviours, so to engage in the activity when anxious seems natural to me. But I have anxiety disorders plus autism and ADHD, so that effects my viewpoint.

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Hello, I've lurked these boards off and on but not posted before.  I have a diagnosis of mild OCD, among other things (mostly anxiety-related).  It's actually pretty comforting to read this thread and be able to say, oh, that really crazy thought I keep having is not only the OCD, but is in fact a pretty common OCD obsession.  It is easier for me to tune out obsessive thoughts when I recognize that they're OCD acting up and neither valid nor signs of something worse.

 

I get the one about doing something inappropriate, sometimes sexually inappropriate, or violent.  It's very distressing because I am deeply morally opposed to violence in any form and have worked for most of my adult life to help survivors of domestic and/or sexual violence in some capacity.  When this one pops up, I remind myself that because I'm worried and distressed about doing whatever it is, that means I don't want to do it and won't do it.  Then I try to go out of my way to do something kind or gentle as a way of reinforcing that that's the kind of person I actually want to be.

 

I get religious obsessions sometimes.  It's weird to me because the kinds of religious obsessions I get loosely have to do with a religion I grew up with but don't even practice anymore.  What helps with this is self-talk about how this is clearly the OCD acting up and also participating in the spiritual practices I do observe now.

 

I am a hypochondriac.  I've read that hypochondria may or may not actually be a form of/symptom of OCD, but whether it is or not, I most definitely have it.  I am not allowed to look up symptoms on the internet.  I am not allowed to go to the doctor for something subtle or small until I've observed it for a while.  Meds help a lot with this one.  I am much less likely to think I am dying of cancer all the time if I am on Zoloft/sertraline.  Thank you, sertraline, I heart you.  (200mg/day, it's also very helpful with GAD and social anxiety for me.)  I am not, however, unusually worried about germs or dirt, so that just goes to show how irrational the hypochondria is and how not everybody with OCD matches up to all the stereotypes. 

 

I most definitely obsess about being thought to be horrible/disgusting/wrong/a failure of a person, including fears that my friends will suddenly stop talking to me and that I am constantly on the verge of getting fired.  I don't know whether this is actually OCD or more social anxiety.  I respond by doing the best job I can and having talks with myself about having a realistic perspective on social stuff, and it's gotten better with age and maturity.  I likewise obsess over little things I've said or written (I am likely to reread this post a few dozen times), and the way I deal with that mostly is to distract myself.

 

I obsess over disasters.  I am judicious about my news consumption for this reason and avoid material that I know is going to make me upset without my being able to do anything about it.

 

I am less compulsive than obsessive. 

 

I do recheck locks/stove/plugs/car, but I am a bit absent-minded so I'm not positive that this is OCD as much as an adaptive mechanism for dealing with occasional space cadet moments. 

 

I scratch at my scalp to the point that I get scabs.  That is no good, and the only way I have figured out how to deal with it is to use hair product, which works in that I can't get at my scalp to scratch it but it drives me nuts. 

 

I bite my nails.  Clipping them helps.

 

I refresh web pages over and over when I ought to be doing something useful like going to bed or fixing dinner.

 

Those are the main ones. Wow, this ended up long.  Thanks for reading.

Edited by revolution724
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  • 5 months later...

Hurting my family, committing sexual violence, feeling guilty, becoming pregnant, killing somebody, losing control, acting on an impulse, having a fatal illness, disappointing everybody. 

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my OCD frequently shape-shifts, but here are some usual suspects:

 

- bodily symmetry, especially touch and vision

- everything being in place before leaving car/apartment

- getting coffee grinds in my cat's food

- my phone/computer magically transmitting things I've said about people to these people via text/call/email

- disease, especially exposure to carcinogens (asbestos, plastic, chemicals and things like this)

- germs and chemicals on my hands

- saying or writing things unintentionally

- various kinds of bodily harm to myself

- numbers (3 and multiples of 3)

- bad energy contagion 

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Well, let's start with the obsessions.

These include

  • A fear that ants will take over my house
  • Self harm and suicide (intrusive thoughts)
  • Harming others(intrusive thought)
  • Bad things happening to myself and others (intrusive thoughts)
  • Fire
  • Car accidents
  • The fear that people will judge me
  • Germs (I can't go to the movie theatre in winter)
  • Fruit tingles
  • Rocks

 

My compulsions include

  • Arranging and rearranging rocks
  • Killing ants
  • Not stepping on the cracks between the floorboards (my whole house has floor boards)
  • Blood letting, in a particular way
  • The use of hand sanitiser (post public places)
  • Eating from blue bowls and plates
  • Arranging my fruit tingles 
  • Making sure that the sheet at the end of my bed is tucked in so that my toes aren't exposed as that would leave them venerable to things that might be under the bed. 

And many more from both categories

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Mine are kinda related to one another. The biggest is I'm obsessed with someone/something I love dying....and my feeling somehow responsible(even though I am in no way shape or form responsible). Part of why I had to rehome my dog was not only was I obsessively worrying about her state of health constantly--like every second of the day--but I also worried that if I wasn't hypervigilent, she would die and it would be my fault and someone would blame me--besides my blaming myself.

 

I live in mortal terror that my mom will die. She's old, bad health, yadda yadda--and all I think about is every little germ could kill her--and if I happened to have not sanitized before coming into the house, it would be all my fault that she died.

 

Part of the whole OCD process for me, is I have this all-encompassing fear of causing physical harm to someone else. I'm afraid of just crazy stuff happening--totally improbably, nearly impossible--like if I were to suddenly pass out and faint and fall on the dog. She's tiny and would be smooshed...And I wouldn't be able to live with causing her harm/death, even if it was out of my control. It's like that when I drive. Although I can distract myself from the OCD thoughts, I always have in the back of my mind that if I were to have an accident and seriously hurt/kill someone, I wouldn't survive it from the sheer gult.

 

So I guess for me, my OCD is tied to in insanely high level of worry over the improbable.

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