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Intense hatred

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  • 1 month later...

Yes. To everything you say. Yes. Hate ALL THE THINGS!!! 


It's my story too. I am female and I would also 'control' myself in front of docs. Until one day I realised this helped NO-ONE. 


You are the expert on you. Keep bloody chasing until you find someone who helps. Because it's impossible to get better on your own. Well, I don't know, but it was a hell of a lot MORE possible with the help I needed. 


Please, friend, I encourage you with all my jedimindtrickwillpowerenergy to insist on doing something about it. Because you will feel differently when you do. (I believe)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I started a thread about similar issues, and I also come across as unemotional - and I actually feel unemotional as well, thanks to alexythemia. It can take me some time to realize I'm taking something out on people and even longer to work out what it is and why.


I was diagnosed with BPD a bit over three years ago, and it was the first psychological evaluation I've had since grade school. No one thinks I have it, but I mean the diagnosis had a reason so I am still trying to work things out.


Whether I do have it or not, though, this forum has been a huge help, and has been the best place I've found to talk about this stuff.

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Actually had this happen the other day and the guy I was reacting to sent me a PM asking me why I was being so mean...which told me I was being mean, so I apologized and backed off. I feel like I've gone through this pattern so many times.

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