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Feeling crummy about my self image and so called friends


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I'm feeling crummy.  I tend to be especially sensitive about whether or not I come across to other people as likable or not.  I don't know how to be less sensitive about that.  People who I consider my friends on several different occasions have told me things in the ballpark of "you're strange" to a more blatant, you look like a serial killer.  A "friend" of mine who I am putting as a "friend" in quotations because I don't know how she could be so insensitive, told me that a friend of hers thought I looked like Ted Bundy.  I don't believe I look like that, and I don't believe the comparison is a kind one to even mention.  Why would it occur to people in the first place.  I am a nice person who wishes people well.  I don't have a lot of direction in my life.  My fingers are hammering on the keys as I write this, because I am angry and hurt.  I don't have anyone to talk to.  My therapist is kind of a jerk, and yet my parents claim he is a "confrontational sort of therapist."  My parents brush me off.  Thus I don't know how to approach these topics anymore without feeling defensive. 

 

I have friends who think I'm a nice person.  I wish I could focus on those friends.  But I am really insecure about this.  I don't even know where to begin... can someone help turn this into a conversation that I can learn something from?  There are many facets to this.

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Wtf does that even mean, "look like a serial killer?" Sounds like these people are just assholes, honestly. I'm sorry you have to deal with them.

 

Is there anyway you can find a different therapist who isn't a jerk? Because it sounds like you could benefit from some good therapy with a therapist you can connect with. 

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This is kind of off the topic (I agree about these friends and therapist sound awful)   But...   And please don't take this as bad I'm just making an observation on how dense these people are because I thought Ted Bundy was this drop dead good looking guy?  That was how he was able to commit crimes so easily.   Or am I thinking of someone else?  

 

Charles Manson on the other hand...   Yech!  that slug is pretty ugly and really looks like a serial killer (To me)

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Ted Bundy and Jeffry Dalhmer were both supposed to be so good looking that they could easily pick up victims.

 

One of my friends, and his brother, who are both gay, took me out to dinner (at La Folie for those of you in the Bay Area, they. are. rich.). So Dahlmer had just been sentenced, and my friends' brother complained several times that it was so unfair, he was so good looking, what a waste, etc. It was creepy.

 

No one "looks" like a serial killer. I wish there were some way you could throw it back in their face: "You know who is really fascinated by serial killers? Serial killers." Or something like that.

 

It must be so hard to never know who you can rely on, I'm sorry.

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