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Having difficulty with the diagnosis & LABELS...


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After watching this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nVEN1Reeaw

 

The people in this video who have "Bipolar Disorder" do not in any way reflect my own experience. I haven't lost touch with reality in the way these people have. It just doesn't feel like this looks in my head. 

 

Yet from a certain perspective I can see how all of the diagnostic criteria apply to me. First DX was Bipolar 1. Next guy said maybe more Bipolar 2. Certainly the depression bothers me the most (in it now, that's why I'm back on here looking around all day/night). But the so-called mania isn't psychosis. Never has been. If it's something "bad," it's the best "bad" thing I've ever experienced. I write great songs, I play great shows, I make friends, I love the world.

 

Seems like some people do great things and love the world and also feel down sometimes and aren't "mentally ill."

 

I guess... just curious to know if there could have been a mistake? Tonight I'm feeling like I don't trust any of these labels. I don't feel like it has helped me at all to have a name for the patterns in my life. I sometimes wonder if it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've read enough shit on the internet that I emulate it subconsciously or put it on myself. 

 

Anyone else feel like this? I mean... look at the people in this video. I know this is extreme, but I'm not there. I'm just not. 

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I just started watching this and in the first 6 minutes, I've seen how "serious" the pdocs, RNs, residents, etc take everyone ... "You want a coffee?"  "It's not loud enough in here ... can you make it louder?" (obvious sarcasm).

 

I am going to try and watch the whole thing but here the DRs etc are making light of serious situations, and that really irritates me.

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I did enjoy that documentary.. If you watch the whole thing, the one ER doc (with cancer) was really good.. but they do need some humour or else they'd go nuts too!

 

Not everyone with bipolar is psychotic. This is the Bellevue ER!

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My little ones are up right now so I will come back to this but I too am struggling lately with 1 vs. 2 for some reason.  I have no idea why.  My husband keeps gently asking "Does it even matter?" and no, it doesn't.  But the type A in me needs neat little categories.  What ultimately matters is feeling stable, I suppose, right?  Anyway, be back later.

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 But the type A in me needs neat little categories.  What ultimately matters is feeling stable, I suppose, right?  Anyway, be back later.

 

Right ... what matters is that the meds and treatment work to help you feel stable.  But I know what you mean, needing to know the full name of your diagnosis.  For me it is like validation or something (?Idk the word I'm thinking of), and also so I can read/learn more about it.  For the DRs I think it is more for the insurance companies.

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^Absolutely.  My DH was laid off really unexpectedly over the summer and our COBRA was $950/month for just the 2 of us ($1100 if I had chosen to put the littles on it).  When I applied for alternative plans, I was denied everything because of bipolar.  My pdoc was like "you should have told me, I'd have coded you with anxiety NOS so you didn't have to pay for COBRA".  He's a gem like that.  Alas, we had to pay for COBRA for almost 6 months.  But I digress.  Off to watch video now.

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Had some time to click on the link and I've seen it before, too.  Although, interesting (to me)... I watched it last in a mixed state and it seems different to me somehow.  I agree with previous posters that this is the Bellvue ER - not your "typical" bipolar people; we come in a zillion flavors!  Though this does bring up a question that I had months ago about "insight". 

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COBRA is evil. If it weren't for Obamacare, my husband would be on it 4 more months, and now he is saving almost $600 a month.

 

That's weird that they didn't allow you on it. I had an actual (planned) 6 day in-patient treatment, and was seeing drs. in addition to my pdoc,

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What do you guys mean by "it's the Bellvue ER!"

It's just a public hospital right? As in not private? Is it a state hospital? Seems nicer than that. Idk.

And I've been there done that with the repeat shouting guy. Only it was a lady yelling "mama mama" over and over.

I've never been to Bellvue but it seems like a decent hospital. I guess I understand that the drs need a bit of humor. But still...!

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