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crap day -rant


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Hello

I have had a few really bad days this week. For the first time in months I had the urge to harm my self. This is a mix of things as I'm feeling overwhelmed with revision for two exams and getting Annoyed at myself when I forget stuff and I am also writing my disso with very little help. Also I'm dealing with family issue as my brother has gone into care. Its the first he's been home for ages. Anyway I tries using the coping methods but nothing worked so the razor blade won.

I told my partner who I have been with for a year and has done about my self harming.I told him as I though it was better to be honest with him. It ended up in a big flight as he was like you promised me

I really want to but I'm scared and I'm not sure what to do

BTW I'm sorry if there is spelling is bad I'm learning to use a tablet

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Its been a while which has to be a good thing. I feel like I have grown up in the last few years. We have spoken sinse this post and he kinda understands it a bit better. So I can't complain. I fully argree with you about exams. I'm just trying to get the negative out of my head. The voices really sent helping.

They are just making me feel like I will fail which isn't helping the revision process

I do feel guilty for doing it and I've tried some of thew alternates and it feels like they aren't working atm

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I do feel guilty for doing it and I've tried some of thew alternates and it feels like they aren't working atm

 

A counselor with my IOP program has been working with me on that. I, too, feel guilty for "giving in" or not being able to use skills or distractions to not cut.

 

She says we need to focus on progress, and we won't make progress in leaps and bounds. She urged me to recognize that my ability to use dbt skills or distractions at all is itself progress. Even if we end up cutting anyway, she points out that by trying these things, we are delaying cutting longer than we used to - it may be by minutes, but it is still delaying, not jumping to our tools on impulse.

 

All of that is to say... try not to beat up on yourself. You're making progress and doing well - cutting this time doesn't negate that. I hope you're feeling better today.

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