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TW Rape

For some reason I feel him thrusting himself inside me again. I have been thinking a lot tonight about old memories and that feeling popped up. I clamp my legs and I still feel it. He was right I am a whore.

All those nights I spent at his house when we were sorta dating. I trusted him. Then I got tipsy one night and was tired so I went to sleep on his bed.

I won't go into details. But I can't get rid of this phantom pain. I'm sorry.

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I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I want you to know that he was not right, you are not a whore. You are a wonderful person, I have seen how suppotive you are to others on the boards. You do not deserve to feel badly about yourself because of what was done to you. What he did to you was wrong, not anything you did or anything about you.

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I'm glad that today is a better day for you.

I get most of my symptoms through really physical things (body memories, physical hyperarousal, nightmares, the shakes when I'm scared even if I don't feel scared). So I know just how vivid the feelings are. It's pretty brutal.

It's great that taking your meds let you sleep it off and made things easier. That seems like a really good reason to take your meds! - since I know that you're struggling with that, too.  

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