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I get the somewhat uncontrollable feelings sometimes but then I try to rationalize them by accepting that everybody has these feelings to some extent or another.  For instance, I could be getting aquainted with the sweetest and most intelligent person but all I will focus on is how I think that person is homely looking and I feel like I am a mean person.  I let it go.  The intensity of these "episodes" ebb and flow. I'm not a religious person so i don't think it's a sin.  I do however think it's almost normal to a certain degree.  People are always acting nice and normal on the outside but are basically shallow.  Maybe I need to work on noticing the beauty in everybody for the sake of good karma but part of me thinks that would be silly.  I just accept that I might be shallow and see it as another handicap that I have in addition to my illness. We are all a product of nurture and nature.  If it makes you feel better then maybe you could think about how people have treated YOU negatively in the past and how those experiences might be shaping your present thoughts and feelings.  

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That's incredibly unhelpful of the crisis line!  You have an illness, they couldn't talk with you about it without making you feel bad?  Grr.  I get these thoughts but I think it is the OCD part of my BP/SZA. 

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I do too, think that if I think bad thoughts they will happen. 

 

I used to believe that if I "re-created" a scene in a picture taken (awhile back), that I would re-create the scene/it would come back to life.  So if there was a "beach scene" in the picture, and it is currently winter now, the scene would come back to life but now in the winter instead of in the summer when it was originally taken, so everyone in bathing suits would be freezing etc, and I would need to "supply" blankets etc to keep them warm.  That is just one example. 

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