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Hi all,

 

Before hubby and I met, we believe I was mostly still a type 2. I handled finances for myself as a single mom and did a pretty good job. But then, I was in the military and always got a steady paycheck, and things like housing and utilities were taken care of for me with overseas housing.

 

So anyways since I went fullblown type 1, with all the impulses and ups and downs very drastic, it's taken hubs a while to listen to me when I have been telling him this whole time to take the reigns with finances. Rent has been paid, and lights have been on, but just barely in some scenarios.

 

If you are willing to share, would you tell me how you make it work for yourself and if applicable your spouse?

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To be honest, I have pretty much ceded all the basic nitty-gritty  of keeping things running to DH. He makes sure we have shelter, heat, electricity, and food, although I just remembered I have to call Aetna about our ambulance bill. But unless it is something I know he would welcome, if I want to make a purchase that is more than $50, I ask him if I can spend X amount, and he says yes or no.

 

I am in control of the finances dealing with the car, since he doesn't drive. I also am the one who renews renters' insurance every year. I buy groceries pretty freely, we don't tend to stint on food. I am responsible for paying the American Express and Mastercard, sometimes with his input, because they are both in my name. He has a visa, which he never got me a copy of (he has both of mine), which I am a little peeved about.We usually pay them off monthly, but when DH was unemployed, we juggled a little.

 

Since we both went onto SSDI, my parents give us $500 every month. Fortunately, I am in Utah, so no strings are attached. DH's family tends to pick up large bills here and there (they ended up paying for a lot of our moving expenses), but there is no set amount. His family is much better off than mine (except for my Sister 2), which I find amusing for a lot of classist reasons. I'm an asshole that the thought even crosses my mind,. But DH and I have talked about it and he admits it is something he thinks about too.

 

DH just started Obamacare, and I just started medicare.Our monthly premiums are dropping 2/3rds from what we have been paying Aetna (granted, with COBRA). I am pretty sure DH had been raiding our "savings account," aka my back  pay. That should stop, now.

 

Someday I should call up Wells Fargo so I can see our account online again; I entered the wrong password three time in a row, and they decided I was hacking.

 

We are lucky, DH earned more than the requirement for getting the highest monthly amount of SSDI. Me, not so much.

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I have a spreadsheet that tracks my monthly expenses (categorized into things like "groceries," "car," "fun stuff," etc.), which helps me see where my money is going. I also use my checkbook and my checking account to pay for things, so I always see the money going away when it's getting spent. I was initially going to set up a budget, but I have so little money leftover each pay period after I've paid bills that really the bills budgets my money for me...whatever's left goes to fun plus food.

 

I had to use credit cards to cover some major moves and expenses associated with them, but generally haven't used them since then and I'm just paying them down. I do like having it as safe-keeping, but understand Titantia's point about not really needing it and it being a liability.  

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I have a spreadsheet for budget.  We need to do cash envelopes because I have BP and DH has ADHD.  Lots of impulsive spending was happening.  We have 2 checking accounts - one has all of our regular bills coming out automatically.  This is our joint account.  The other is for "fun money".  I am the only one with access to this one, so I do cash allowance type thing for DH.  We both agree plastic is the debil for us both.  Also, DH forgets to get online and check our account, like, ever, so before we agreed to this system, we were getting a lot of overdraft fees.  Now that I am stable we are able to keep 2 credit cards open that we pay off every month in their entirety (don't freak out, we have plenty of other debt we are shoveling our way out of).  We also have an automatic savings plan that comes out the 1st of the month and we don't touch that account, well, we didn't until DH was laid off.  Our children have college accounts that again, we do automatic payments to.  Basically, we pay our savings/college/debts/bills automatically so there's no late fees and then I put everything else into the other checking account, which only I have access to, and DH gets a cash allowance.  This works for us because up until now, I was a SAHM and did most of the family spending.  (Which was not always a good thing.)  Now that I am really stable I am looking at finances in a new light and while overwhelmed at times, I'm also excited by the challenge and proud of how far I've come.  Oh!  We also have overdraft protection, but I'm pretty vigilant about using our bank's app or website daily to balance our account online.

Edited by ray_of_sunshine
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For me I don't have a lot to work with, but seem to manage ok.  Food stamps cover almost all of the food/month. 

 

I always pay bills right away and on-line.  I rarely write checks.  I do use a credit card, but know my general limit per month how much I can use it for.  And I stick to it. 

 

Another credit card I have for a monthly payment that I account for.  I have a few other credit cards on-hand for any emergency that could come up, but have never had to use them.  And fortunately I have never gone into debt.  So overall as long as I pay my bills and stick to the amount on the credit card I allow myself to spend, I do ok.

 

I do on-line banking so I can view my account any time I want to. 

 

Also every month I get a bank statement, and check it with my records to make sure I am not spending too much (like if I withdraw money from the ATM more than expected for whatever reason; rarely happens although it does at times).  As long as I am evened out every month or save a little I don't worry about finances too much. 

 

I am really used to my budget, so I don't stress too much over it.  I know my limits.

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I'm in debt all over the place, i became unemployed because my employer thought i was on drugs even though a drug test came up that i wasn't......... ever since then i get unemployment centrelink $500/2 weeks roughly but i have a phone bill of  $400 i cant clear and a $200 cash loan i cant make and a gym membership i cant pay and a car i cant even fuel up let alone barely pay the rego and i am in debt over $4000 on a camera i bought.

 

So yeh nobody will hire me because of my condition and the medication i am on and it's made life very hard all i want to do is drink myself to sleep every night because i have lost all hope again

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Well, unfortunately, I am not working at the moment had been working steadily for awhile. I am in between finding a job and/or getting approved for SSI. Luckily I have a savings account to hopefully last until I either get SSI or get a job. I definitely budget. I live with my parents so I do not have rent or pay for groceries. I try to drive as little as possible to save on gas. I don't buy what I don't need. I stopped purchasing expensive make up, switched to cheap powder $5.00. I don't eat out. I only see pdoc 1x a month. I go to therapy now on a need basis. & I buy my medications. So my money goes to mental health. I work a teeny tiny job 1x a week so that covers all of the expenses. I need a better job to move out and be independent. But I work with what I got. If I get a bill I pay it, and I am still paying off a manic episode credit card debt. Even if it is a minimum payment. I do my best.

Edited by Butterflykisses
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Well, I do live with my parents, so I don't have any pertinent bills like rent and utilities, but I do have bills that need to be paid monthly, on time, and take over $500 of my $770. What I do, then, is the day I get paid, I pay my two biggest bills immediately, which are my two student loans, then I pay my credit card, buy my various must haves for the month, pay my reserve line, automatics that comes out, and take $20 out for savings(this is a new habit I'm developing). I also pay my tdoc every month at the beginning, for the whole month.

I guess I have a strong srense of commitment to my bills, associated with ignoring them for a time as an idiot in my 20s. It's getting taken care of now, and has been going well the last few years. I just deduct every preplanned expensive from my account total, and that money, because it is paying a bill, no longer exists for any other purpose. I also take whatever was left over at the end of the month…if there is any…and add it to savings.

That's how I manage.

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I did the same thing with student loans for several years, just ignored them.  I had to do this 14 month program of paying sooooo much money each month. I'm hoping because I am on SSDI, I can unlock my IRA account, and jut pay the rest of them off. But I hear that they are unlocked, then I hear that they aren't unlocked.

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Dang guys, I suck sorry for not getting back; fighting insurance and pharmacy bullshit for a week and it slipped my mind to post back. Thanks for all the input, seems like it's problematic in nature for everyone but lots of different strategies... I'm going to show these ideas to hubs and tweak our game plan. Thanks again guys!

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To those who don't know about the total and permanent disability student loan discharge, maybe google that? It takes a while and most drs won't allow it for MI, but after my 1.5 year stay in the state hospital my pdoc agreed to try and fill out the forms. They monitor you for 3 years and you can never go back to school with loans. You also can't work above a certain amount, which is limited by SSDI as well. I was approved within 2 months or so? This program discharges federal loans to those who qualify. Oh and it can be, how do I say this?, a part of taxes and you may have to pay that because they count it as income for the year. If that makes sense?

If there is anything else I can think of I will post. Or you guys can pm me if you have any specific questions. I will try to help with my experience with this.

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I am allergic to debt, or owing anyone anything. It makes me so uneasy and insecure. I am not working and living on an allowance from my mother, so I live pretty frugally so I don't have the "Why is there always so much month left at the end of my money?" problem. I have to have a little balance left each month for emergencies, like the vet etc, or I feel insecure and lie and worry about it at night and can sometimes panic.

 

My tips:

1. Have a designated place where you put your opened bills as they come in so they don't get lost. I don't always do this and the bill lies under a pile of papers and then my phone gets cut off simply because the bill wasn't in it's proper place and I forgot it.

 

2. Get internet banking. It'll revolutionise your life.

 

3. Sit down and pay the bills online after you have 3 or 4 in the pile. Before the deadline.

 

4. If you have a credit card pay it all off each month. Credit card debt is the most expensive debt, they charge insane interest rates. If you need to go into debt, find a way to borrow money that has a lower interest rate and pay off everything on the credit card. (I can borrow money out of my mortgage as when I was working I paid more than I had to and got ahead with my payments, which I did for my studies last year and have just finished paying it back last month.) There has got to be a cheaper way to borrow than your credit card.) I find a credit card useful to pay with but I usually load money onto it before I buy, so I operate it as a debit card. Our banks here (South Africa) charge a hefty fee to draw money from the ATM, so it actually works out cheaper for me to pay with a card rather than cash.You do need discipline with a credit card.

 

5.For bills that come via email, I pay those as soon as I get them, otherwise they disappear down the list and I forget them.

 

6. If I get manic, I draw some cash, put it in envelopes, as others have said, and take all my cards, *especially* the credit cards, to a friend. I can't remember my credit card number so that stops me spending online. I may blow my cash for the week, but at least it is money that I already have. I do this as soon as I start to feel happy a lot of the time and want to buy stuff! Because once you get manic or even hypo, you throw caution to the winds and it's too late.

 

7. When things get very tight eliminate the coffees and snacks, that you buy at work or when you are out. They add up. I have never budgeted, just kept a sharp eye on what goes out and what is left. But budgeting for these things will work. When you can, give yourself a bit of cash just to spend, then you don't feel deprived. Many of my friends also live on tight budgets so we tend to drink coffee at each other's houses.

 

I realise these tips won't work for everyone, especially if you are living on less money than your bills, but maybe they can help someone, a bit.

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The total irony for me is that in my job I keep track of over $100 million, and still struggle to keep it together financially at home.  For example, I just filed taxes for the previous three years, but luckily I didn't owe so there were no penalties.

 

My favorite money management cliché is "If you watch the pennies, the dollars will take of themselves".  I'm very lucky to have a good job at the present, but there have been many times where that's not been the case.  There are some good threads here on money saving tips.

 

A complete lifesaver for me is online bill-pay.  I have my rent payment set up automatically, so at least I'm never late on it.  I haven't set up automatic payments for bills that aren't the same every month, like the electric bill, but I'm pretty sure it's  possible to do.  I also have an auto withdrawal from my checking account where my paycheck is deposited into a savings account, otherwise I would never save any money.

 

The other big benefit of online bill-pay is that you only have to enter the account billing address and account number once, and then when the bill comes in, it's just a matter of entering the payment amount online, and you're done.  In the old days it seemed like getting things in the mail on time was always a problem for me, so having the bank do the mailing is a huge help.

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I'm in trouble deep for the first time with money.

I owe 20 000 dollars.it's hard to explain why.

I don't know what to do.

it's ruining my relationship and I feel on edge all the time.

 

I will from now never use a card online.

I have no impulse control.

i just spend.

 

I also(W Cheese)get a monthly allowance.

but I went around it.

 

thanx for reading.

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2. Get internet banking. It'll revolutionise your life.

 

^THIS.  It saves so much time, and the bills get paid immediately.  Saves on writing out checks also. I don't know how I'd survive without auto-pay. I have everything that I can on it. I have often gone several months without even checking my mailbox (and when I do, I often just throw it on top of the pile with all the other stuff without even looking at it). Had to go to the post office the other day to pick up my mail Becuz box was too full and they put a hold. Luckily I just barely got to it before they sent everything back. I actually have years worth of mail I've never even opened, or even looked at in many cases. Medical bills are the tricky ones,,Becuz no way to auto-pay those. But they will call you when it gets outta hand and then you can write the check. I dunno about others, but I get into these moods where I simply don't care about anything and nothing gets accomplished for long periods of time. In any case, tHank goodness for auto-pay!

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