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He's Dead


sonicwhite
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My friend that lost his home last spring here where i live just got a new house and it was furnished and he had his son live with him. Both I've known for almost ten years.....Well his son found his dad dead in the shower......He broke down and started punching the walls and busted up his hands.....His dad for the past five years has been thru so much with things I will not talk about. But imagine that you just have one problem solved to have another pop up even worse. His son says he can't get the image of his dads face out of his head when he was talking to me.....I could hardly sleep last night....My prayers go out to all of us and family.......Please send your thoughts and prayers if you would like.

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Please ensure that your friend has lots of pictures of his dad's face around from when his dad was well. It is much easier to get that image out of your head. Without it it can haunt you for a very long time...

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I don't think that it's okay to be naming your friend. Especially as sharing your prescription medication is illegal, however well-meaning you are. Your friend's doctor can give him something should your friend decide that that's what he needs.

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The legality of the matter aside, Sonic, you should on no account distribute any medication to other persons as you are not a trained physician or psychiatrist.  Medications react differently in each individual depending on their medical history and biochemistry, and you could inadvertently cause harm to the other person.  Unexpected drug interactions have even been known to cause death.  Don't do it again, under any circumstances.

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Okay I got it! Now all that aside can we please focus on my friend......?

The thing is, this is a first person site. We can't really do anything for your friend. However, we can assist you in determining things that you can do to help your friend.

 

Is there hospice in your area? If so, they typically have grief counseling as well as groups that help those that are going through the grief process. You might want to find out the information and present it to your friend. Where I live, the counseling and groups are free. You might want to offer to go with your friend. This is a link to the hospice site where I live http://www.hospiceofwake.org/content/hgc+main/12040. take a look at the link and see if you can find anything similar in your area. If you can't find anything then maybe you could call a local hospital and ask them if they can get you in touch with hospice grief counseling in your area. If that doesn't work, send me a PM with your location and I'll help you look.

 

I'm don't remember specifics about whether you have transportation or any money at all. If you do have either of these, you might want to offer your friend a ride to some of the places he'll need to go when dealing with the funeral people and all the decisions that need to be made. If you can't provide transportation then maybe you can offer to go with him. Making all the decisions and doing it alone suck. Having someone with you makes a huge difference. I know this from first hand experience.

 

 

The most important thing I've learned about grief is that it's like being at the ocean--I don't remember who told me that but it's very true. You'll be fine and then WHAM! You get hit with overwhelming grief. The first time it got me was when I went to the grocery store and saw a bag of potato chips. I started crying. I always gave Daddy a big bag of chips at Christmas. It was his favorite present. He'd ask for them and then sit there happily eating chips and watching the rest of us open gifts--you see, my mother wouldn't by chips because she knew he'd eat them all day, every day so she wouldn't even keep them in the house.

 

It appears that you knew your friend's dad. It helps to have someone to talk to about the "Remember when..." moments. 

 

Sometimes, what you need is to just be there for your friend. Hold his hand if he is sobbing. Give him a hug if he needs one. Touch is so very important.  

 

Hopefully these suggestions will help you figure out how you can best support your friend through this process. I'm certain others will have suggestions as well. Be strong for you and your friend. 

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Thanks everyone for the advice correction and sympathy.......This is a tough time......If you look thru the grief forum I think this is the third death in like one year so it's been just over laping and I hope this season of deaths are over and I can be grateful for life......And take more serious my relationship with people I meet.

 

 

And Sylvan I'm so sorry about your dad.....He is in peace and I know us that are left behind have to go thru this.....We just can't escape it cause where connected to so many people by people.......I hope your heart can rest....

Edited by sonicwhite
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