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Could I really be causing my own pain?


Inpain
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I was diagnosed with anxiety (plus mild OCD and racing thoughts) three years ago. It was well controlled with therapy, seroquel xr 75 mg at night, and klonopin. I tapered off of the klonopin over the course of six months and was doing great. About a month after quitting klonopin, I started having a feeling of numbness in my lower legs and my left arm. The feeling was just annoying at first, but has progressed to full blown burning pain, especially when I try to rest. I also started having "hot flashes" a month ago and running a fever of around 101. I felt like my anxiety/my mind was actually causing the fever, because it seemed that when I focused on my fever, my temp would actually rise. I went to a GP and he did bloodwork, everything came back fine. I am currently taking neurontin for pain and waiting to see an infectious disease specialist and a neurologist. My psychiatrist is letting me taper off of seroquel to see if the pain could be akathisia from seroquel, which she does not believe it is since I have been on seroquel for 2.5 years with no problems. Here is the really crazy part- just like I felt I could(can) manipulate my body temperature, I can manipulate my pain. I may be in a tolerable amount of pain in my legs, and if I begin to focus on my left foot, for example, I can cause a surge of burning type pain(all my pain feels like burning). I have not figured out how to use this power for good, though. I can't relax because I'm afraid I will focus on my legs and create more pain, which does happen. Has anyone else had this happen? Is there any chance that, like all my other anxiety symptoms, "this too shall pass", or have I tapped into my brain in some perverse irreversible way?

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