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Suggestions for keeping crazy from leaking out?


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OK so I have somewhere to go tonight and somewhere else to go tomorrow and I kind of need to be, public ready.  The problem is I'm kind of... not.  I don't want to say specifically where I'm going due to being so scared of someone tracking me I'm about to jump out of my skin point but the thing is I really need to keep my shit together.  It's just for a couple of hours, but tomorrow I'm screwed because that's going to be an all day thing.  No big deal right?  I'm wondering if I can just keep my fucking mouth shut, that seems to work when nothing else does.  But the kind of here in problem with that is I have to talk.  Talking gets me into trouble and I often end up talking... with what appears to be myself, and I can't like see that happening until the public humiliation has already happened.  

 

I guess I need some kind of help for or suggestions for keeping the crazy in check when you need to? 

 

Just to be clear, I'm on meds.  I take them and stay compliant.  The problem is I have chronic schizophrenia and the meds don't well I'm not really responsive to them like I should be, I'm... treatment resistant, and but I've totally got to keep my shit together.  Like, it's not fucking optional.  I feel fucking screwed over here.  I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do?  I'm doing the right things, taking the meds, etc but I've got all this crazy just ready to leak out when I'm in public.  I haven't gone out anywhere in... awhile, because I've been so fucked.  That's what I do when things get bad, I just disappear.  But I can't disappear right now.  I've spent up my disappearing act allowance so I've got to stay in the "world" as people normally know it.  I've got to keep it together, I'm just not confidant that I can.  I'm so fucking nervous, I'm about the to jump out of my skin.  It's just ugh, what to do?  

 

I appreciate anyone who responses.  Thanks. 

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I don't have any techniques But, sometimes people are so wound up in themselves that they don't really notice details that you may. I know I have been symptomatic and people have been pretty oblivious. I hope it goes well.

 

I am sorry I can't be more helpful

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Sounds like a good reason why to not have commitments.  I used to wonder places and feel all weird in public.  It's good to have a mission, a plan and stick to that.  Don't let all the thought webs get to much interaction.  It's a distracting world so use that to your advantage.  People are selfish so I don't have to talk, they do plenty of that.  I do understand the pressure people put on getting reply's.  It takes humility to deal with the lack of control.  I just remember that people are not all that they think they are.  There opinions are just opinions.  I just care how those opinions could affect my freedoms.  I'd stick to what the real paranoia is for.  Concrete evidence that danger sucks

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